The Oppenheimer Report 5/9/11

Did bin Bombin’ really die, was he a CIA operative, was 9-11 in fact orchestrated by the U.S. government? These are some of the goofy conspiracy theories that re-circulated last week, after President Obama’s announcement that the world’s number one bad guy was fish bait. I admit that the whole thing did sound a little suspicious at first. For instance, why the big hurry to dispose of the body? So they dumped bin Laden in the ocean, but why couldn’t they have saved his nose, or an ear or something … you know, like after a bullfight? I want DNA verification. As for whether or not he was armed when he was shot, do I care? If it had been up to me, he’d have been dropped in a giant vat of fresh elephant poop. I’m curious about what Donald Trump thinks, because Trump always seems to have the inside track. After all, he was right on top of Birthcertificategate. It should mean SOMETHING that al Qaeda, the terrorist organization bin Laden founded, acknowledged he’s dead. Nevertheless, that probably won’t prevent Oliver Stone from making a movie telling “the truth” about bin Bombin’. Obama certainly is looking like a leader these days, visiting Ground Zero, meeting with family members of the 9-11 victims, modestly playing down his role in the mission. Whoever handles his PR is doing a good job, because his approval ratings are improving. I wouldn’t want to be the Republicans right now; who’s their big gun now, Trump? Sarah Palin? I understand Newt (eye of?) Gingrich has thrown his hat into the ring, and that might be entertaining. Didn’t he kind of self destruct as Speaker of the House years ago?



And speaking of people unqualified to run for leadership positions, Canadian Liberal Party leader (loser) Michael Ignatieff has fallen on the sword and stepped down as leader of the Liberal Party after his stunning and humiliating defeat in last week’s national election. The commies from the NDP (New Democratic Part) are now the official opposition party to Stephen Harper’s Conservative Majority. Go figure. Television is such a powerful political tool. I remember about fifteen or twenty years ago, Japan had a Prime Minister with what some politely referred to as a “T.V. problem.” Loosely translated, he came across as boring and lifeless. I’m not sure if he actually is one, but Michael Ignatieff gave me the impression that he was an arrogant a-hole in his televised appearances, and I think perhaps Canadians got the same impression.


Weather update: Big floods in Manitoba, horrific killer tornadoes in Alabama, and droughts in cattle country. I heard on the news tonight that Texas cattle ranchers are selling off their livestock. In the short term beef prices may be coming down. In the long term, you might want to consider acquiring a taste for goat. Look for the Big Mac goat burger, coming soon to a Macdonalds near you. Goats are apparently more drought resistant.


As of August 2011 there will be a new Toronto attraction: “ledge walk” at the CN Tower. That’s right, for the modest sum of $175.00 the adventurous will soon be able to teeter on a five foot wide walkway around the periphery of the famous tower, over 1100 feet above Toronto, without a guardrail and secured only by an overhead tether. Sounds to me like a slam dunk for the suicidal modern art student. I’ll pass.


Other news tidbits … Claude Stanley Choules, the last of the WW1 veterans, finally died at the ripe old age of 110 in Perth Australia. It must have been the salmon mousse. Just in time to mark the 50th anniversary of the first American astronaut (Alan Shepard) to visit outer space, six of the planets in our solar system are now in alignment ... and it’s not even the Age of Aquarius. While Canada honors its caregivers during national nursing week, there was a disturbing segment on the news recently about the use of "chemical restraints" in American nursing homes. Faced with the ongoing challenge of caring for geriatric dementia patients, some nursing homes are using anti-psychotic drugs to control these patients, sometimes with disastrous results. I know from observing my own mother that these drugs are contra-indicative. Before she was diagnosed with Lewy Body Disease, she was prescribed a very low dose of some anti-depressant, and she had a terrible reaction. As she becomes increasingly confused I am more convinced than ever before that my sister and I are doing the right thing by having her cared for at home. Finallly there is much indignation this week about  the rampant speculation leading to skyrocketing gas prices. Some say they have peaked at $3.97 per gallon in the States. I heard prices would be inching down this week, but now they’re talking about a six cent spike per litre in Canada, just in time for the first long weekend. Today I paid $1.32 per litre. You do the math. North Americans are now paying about what Europeans paid for gas in 1977. Outrageous!

 Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2011 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED