The Oppenheimer Report - 9/26/11

The leaves are turning up here in the Great White North, and on our lake folks are beginning to take in their docks for the winter. Yesterday Shauna and her parents joined me for a Fall foliage boat ride, and it was a spectacular day. I figured there may not be many more like it before the harsh winds of Fall start to blow. It’s always a bit of a challenge to get my father-in-law off the dock and into the boat, but once he was in and we were under way, he loved the ride. We cruised the length of the of three lakes (over 10 miles in all), stopping occasionally to take in a particularly colorful maple or a blue heron perched on a dock. I talk a lot about living in the moment, unencumbered by the past or the future, and in truth this has been a struggle for me. Days like yesterday remind me why living in the moment is a worthwhile endeavor.

The Toronto International Film Festival ended last week, the poodles of Hollywood have all jetted back to their charmed if dysfunctional lives, and it is once again safe for Torontonians to reclaim their city. Headed back up north from Buffalo, I was around for the very beginning of the festival, and took a walk through Yorkville to find my pals George Clooney and Brad Pitt. They were nowhere to be found, but I did see a lot of frothing fans swarming about. While I admit that I am somewhat intrigued by the glamour of celebrity, my favorite part about walking through Yorkville is to see all the hot Ferraris, Lamborghinis, and modified sport bikes.

If the horrid state of the global economy, the growing tension in the Middle East, most recently evident in Palestine’s U.N. bid for statehood, the fears of catastrophic weather, and the ever present threat that Jersey Shore halfwit Snooki might become a Pulitzner Prize winning author aren’t enough to rattle your composure, here’s something new to fret over: falling space debris. Last Friday a NASA UARS (Upper Atmosphere Space Satellite) was predicted to fall to Earth, and no one was sure where the debris would land. The biggest chunk was predicted to be about 300 pounds, but I’m guessing that any space projectile which makes landfall would likely leave a nasty bruise. According to the news, the chances of any human being struck by the falling debris were 1:3200. Luckily, this one landed harmlessly in the Pacific, somewhere off the west coast of North America. Apparently, there are about 20,000 pieces of man made space junk floating around up there right now, little detrimental bi-products of our space age technology. It’s not bad enough that we’ve trashed Mother Earth, must we litter outer space as well? I guess the writers of my favorite TV program Northern Exposure were ahead of their time when they created the character of Maggie, whose husband was killed when a falling satellite landed on him.

You’ve heard much talk about the of the Baby Boom generation, and of course the Generation X-ers; now, according to an article I just read in the NY Times, we usher in the Generation Limbos: 20-somethings who, having recently entered the anemic North American job market, find their prospects slim to none. In the article there were comparisons to the Japanese youth idled after the crippling recession that hit Japan back in the 1990s. It’s not a very cheery view of the prospects for the next generation, and perhaps it’s a wake-up call to all the greedy sons of bitches who caused the most recent economic disaster. Most of them have children, right, or did they eat them already? The article suggests that, absent the prospect of any kind of meaningful career to boost their sense of self worth, today’s college graduates are increasingly inclined to become reclusive, disenchanted, and apathetic. Of course there is even less hope for the under-educated. What concerns me most about this trend is that, if history repeats itself, prolonged economic downturns like this cultivate fanaticism and bad judgment. Take a look at pre-WWII Germany. As America braces for the very real prospect of another round of the dreaded “R” word, my hope is that a leader will emerge, either in Europe or the United States, who reminds us that it takes balls to make the tough decisions. Perhaps we the clueless electorate need to be a little clearer on that as well.

An early Shana Tova to all fellow members of the tribe; here's hoping it is a good new year. As for living in the moment, I’m having more luck letting go of the past than I am not worrying about the future. For the moment, the colors are spectacular.



Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2011 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 9/18/11

Today I resurrect one of my all too familiar rants. The time has come, and though I have resisted this decision for almost six years now, I am officially in the market for a new cell phone. For the past six years I have managed quite well with my very basic Sanyo Katana flip phone, but I am tough on my equipment, and no electronic device that I use daily lasts very long. I’ve probably dropped my cell phone a hundred times over the years, usually onto some hard surface. I once left it out in the pouring rain for three days straight, and it still works. The other day, the ringer failed to work, the keypad is a bit dodgy, and in other ways it’s becoming less than reliable. Primitive though it is by today‘s standards, it has proven to be durable and reliable, and I’d love to simply repair it and keep it for another six years. Unfortunately, these days technology renders perfectly good electronic devices obsolete within a few months, and pretty soon I fear this phone will not communicate properly on the ever-faster-new-and-improved-smart-texting-high-definition-mega-data-microwave networks. Let’s not even go into the fact that I cannot download “Angry Birds” or the thousands of other dubiously useful “apps” (applications) essential to technoweenies.

For the record, I despise cell phones (and most other “labor-saving” technology), and I truly believe that they are canaries in the coal mine, facilitating the death of meaningful communication. That said, like computers, this technology has insinuated itself into my daily life and I have become somewhat dependant on it. Anticipating this, and because I am allowed a new phone for free every three years, several months ago I went to Bell Mobility and reluctantly picked out a replacement which seemed the most similar to my basic Sanyo. It was anything but, and within 24 hours I returned it and re-activated my old phone. For me, internet access, advanced camera features, texting, gaming, and the ability to store my entire record and digital photo collection on a cell phone are of little use. I have a laptop that handles most of these tasks, and I don’t need to read the Huffington Post on a two inch screen. I simply want a cell phone to be able to make and receive calls with clear reception. Period. Bonus points if it’s made out of high impact rubber.

My wife and I were discussing recent advances in technology, and we came to the conclusion that for those of us approaching codgerdom, there is a break even point after which technology becomes frustrating and bothersome. I sat in line the other day behind an older woman at Wal-Mart who was having trouble using her debit card to pay for her goods. She couldn’t figure out how the new chip worked. I watched an ad on television the other day touting the benefits of some retirement facility. It featured a group of seniors standing around enjoying a game of Wii bowling (interactive video game). Clearly this was directed at the son or daughter who might actually know what Wii is, and who was contemplating a guilt free alternative to having their parents euthanized. I have a TomTom GPS in my car that I’m ready to throw out the window. The thing is possessed and occasionally decides on its own where it will direct me to drive. I found myself on the busy QEW highway the other day screaming “Shut Up!” to it at the top of my lungs, and the volume switch, which is touch screen technology, is almost impossible to adjust while driving. By the way, what is wrong with consulting a map; it’s no more distracting than fiddling around with a touch screen at 65 MPH? Anyhow, in my unsolicited opinion, phone companies have missed a huge marketing opportunity by denying us fifty and sixty-somethings our codger-friendly phones. And while you’re at it, invent a remote control that doesn’t require an engineer to operate! Herein ends the grumpy boomer rant.

Final notes. I watched the Republican debate in the States the other night. I think Ron Paul is just on the roster so someone will listen to him for 30 seconds. Michele Bachmann put her foot in it shortly after the debate suggesting that an injection to prevent HPV could cause mental retardation. Didn’t anybody brief her on the “no-no words” in political discourse? And so many of them spew out false statistics and information with the misguided confidence that no one will notice. In truth most of us don’t, but in this golden age of communication we have fact finders everywhere who remind us of what constitutes a lie, a damn lie, and/or a statistic. I watch these debates to cull the herd, but I’m probably better off throwing darts at a board. I have yet to see a true leader emerge, and who would want that job anyhow? Everybody thought Obama was the man, but now many of his supporters are turning on him (including the Democratic party). He did kill bin Bombin’. I guess that was his Cuban Missile Crisis. He was simply a better talker than the previous communications-challenged Commander-in-Chief. Now he has “Greengate” to contend with. Oops, we just threw away $535 Million of the taxpayer’s money on a failed solar energy company (Solyndra). Hey, at least it wasn’t a cell phone company. Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2011 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 9/12/11

Yesterday was the 10^th anniversary of the terrorist attacks in NYC and Washington D.C. I remember watching the morning news shortly after the first jet hit the twin towers and thinking it was just a tragic accident. Then, it became clear that we were under attack when the second tower was hit. Sitting in our apartment on the 45^th floor, I felt the same irrational fear and anxiousness many others probably felt. How big WAS this attack going to be? Shortly after that horrible event, a friend forwarded to me an article which seemed to capture all of the anger and outrage that a lot of North Americans probably felt. I printed it verbatim because I could not have expressed my rage more eloquently. To follow is that article, credited to Leonard Pitts Jr. and out of the Miami Herald. I hope you will take a few moments now to read it:

"We'll go forward from this moment.
It's my job to have something to say. They pay me to provide
words that help make sense of that which troubles the American
soul. But in this moment of airless shock when hot tears sting
disbelieving eyes, the only thing I can find to say, the only
words that seem to fit, must be addressed to the unknown
author of this suffering.

You monster.
You beast.
You unspeakable bastard.
What lesson did you hope to teach us by your coward's attack
on our World Trade Center, our Pentagon, us? What was it you
hoped we would learn? Whatever it was, please know that you
failed. Did you want us to respect your cause? You just damned your
cause. Did you want to make us fear? You just steeled our
resolve. Did you want to tear us apart? You just brought us
together.

Let me tell you about my people. We are a vast and quarrelsome
family; a family rent by racial, social, political, and class
division, but a family nonetheless. We are frivolous, yes,
capable of expending tremendous emotional energy on pop
culture minutiae a singer's revealing dress, a ball team's
misfortune, a cartoon mouse. We're wealthy, too, spoiled by
the ready availability of trinkets and material goods, and
maybe because of that, we walk through life with a certain
sense of blithe entitlement. We are fundamentally decent
though, peace-loving and compassionate. We struggle to know
the right thing and to do it. And we are, the overwhelming
majority of us, people of faith, believers in a just and
loving God.

Some people  perhaps think that all of this makes us
weak.

.../2


You are mistaken. We are not weak. Indeed, we are strong in
ways that cannot be measured by arsenals.            
IN PAIN. Yes, we're in pain now. We are in mourning and we are in
shock. We're still grappling with the unreality of the awful
thing you did, still working to make ourselves understand that
this isn't a special effect from some Hollywood blockbuster,
isn't the plot from a Tom Clancy novel. Both in terms of the
awful scope of their ambition and the probable final death
toll, your attacks are likely to go down as the worst acts of
terrorism in the history of the United States and, probably
the history of the world. You've bloodied us as we have never
been bloodied before,

But there is a gulf of difference between making us bloody and
making us fall. This is the lesson Japan was taught to its
bitter sorrow the last time anyone hit us hard, the last time
anyone brought us such abrupt and monumental pain. When
aroused, we are righteous in our outrage, terrible in our
force. When provoked by this level of barbarism, we will bear
any suffering, pay any cost, go to any length, in the pursuit
of justice.

I tell you this without fear of contradiction. I know my
people, as you, I think, do not. What I know reassures me. It
also causes me to tremble with dread of the future.
In the days to come, there will be recrimination and
accusation, fingers pointing to determine whose failure
allowed this to happen and what can be done to prevent it from
happening again. There will be heightened security, misguided
talk of revoking basic freedoms. We'll go forward from this
moment sobered, chastened, sad. But determined, too.
Unimaginably determined.


THE STEEL IN US

You see, the steel in us is not readily apparent. That aspect
of our character is seldom understood by the people who don't
know us well. On this day, the family's bickering is put on
hold.

As Americans we will weep, as Americans we will mourn, and as
Americans, we will rise in defense of all that we cherish.
So I ask again: What was it you hoped to teach us? It occurs
to me that maybe you just wanted us to know the depths of your
hatred. If that's the case, consider the message received. And
take this message in exchange:

You don't know my people. You don't know what we're capable
of. You don't know what you just started.
But you're about to learn." 

- Leonard Pitts Jr.

Ten years later, we just took out bin Laden, and there are probably a hundred more like him with his despicable intentions. I doubt this silent war will ever truly be over. At present, the “Arab Spring” is sweeping across the Middle East, but how will this affect the people of North America? As I leave you on this fateful anniversary, I wonder if this silent war in which we now find ourselves embroiled is simply a battle of good vs. evil or of two equally flawed ideologies. To quote Nietzche: “Convictions are more dangerous foes of truth than lies.” Amen to that.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2011 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 9/5/11

Yowza! It's Labor Day already?! Perhaps because of all the health care issues, and because I spent a lot of time running back and forth to Buffalo, this summer just flew by. Time in general has taken a quantum leap of late, and I am reminded if this unsettling fact when I hear of milestones passing, such as the sixth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. It makes me pause and wonder what the heck I’ve been doing with my time. That’s one of the reasons I’ve kept up writing the Oppenheimer Report for almost 20 years. It’s not simply for the edification of my 12 loyal readers, but also to jog my ever-eroding memory. Remember when the very disturbed Andrew Cunanan shot Versace to death in South Miami Beach back in 1997? This report, admittedly opinionated and laced with misinformation, is my opaque window into the past. I think keeping a journal, even bi-weekly or monthly, is a great way to create one’s own personal history book. Do you remember what you were doing back in 1992?

Once Hurricane Irene had passed and the skies had cleared, most of us who were not affected did not pay much attention to the aftermath. As with all natural disasters, I tend to lose interest if it doesn’t immediately affect me. In New York State alone the damage was formidable. I never stopped to consider the ramifications, but flash floods are as bad as tornadoes in terms of destruction. After a flood, farmers can’t feed their livestock, fertile topsoil has been washed away, supplies can’t get in because the roads are gone, long term power outages wreak havoc on already compromised communities. In short, the long term effects are devastating. What can you do when your home has been filled with raw sewage? Fun facts (gleaned from the CNN website): storm cleanup in NYS alone is estimated at $1Billion and agricultural losses are in the area of $45 Million. 600 homes were destroyed, 22 state bridges were closed, 150 major state highways were damaged, 145,000 acres of farmland were affected, 9 people died, and 6 towns were wiped out. New York can’t catch a break. Just when I thought Andrew Cuomo was going to  be the great white hope, he’s now saddled with a costly natural disaster. Patterson, N.J. was so bad that Obama chose it for his photo opportunity. My sister and brother-in-law, who live in New Canaan, Ct. near the Long Island Sound, headed for the hills before Irene struck. I still have not heard if their property was damaged. And speaking of can’t catch a break, tropical storm Lee just hammered the Gulf coast, making a direct hit on New Orleans. I heard on the news that this slow moving rainmaker dropped over 10 inches of rain on the Big Easy, and as much as 15-20 inches elsewhere along the coast. And Hurricane Katia is on deck. Happy Labor Day! So much for the desperately needed infusion of tourist dollars into the Gulf Coast.

In the “what else” department, teen heart throb Justin Bieber had a fender bender in his new Ferrari. How old is that kid? My first car was a used VW Beetle. The much-coveted Stanley Cup was dented when it fell off a table in Newfoundland. Is this a bad omen for the NHL? Fire that handler with the white gloves; isn’t it his job to protect The Cup? Looking for a place to park your investment dollars in these uncertain times? How about North Korea? I read that Kim Jung Il, the ever-charming, oddly coifed fearless leader of this little understood communist country, is looking for foreign investors to pour money into the Mount Kumgang resort in the Southeast part of his country. South Koreans had been the biggest investors (approximately $443 Million) until one of their countrymen was shot dead in 2008 after wandering into a nearby military zone (Mount Kumgang is very near the DMZ). Not a great draw for tourists. Now, as S. Korean investors try to pull their money out of the mothballed project, N.Korea is saying “you snooze you lose.” What more could you ask for in a resort investment … beautiful surroundings, good food, the omnipresent threat of spontaneous murder or incarceration at the hands of a ruthless despot? Where do I sign up? What those North Koreans need is Donald Trump as a consultant. The Humpster would have them in the black in no time. And I think he and Il have the same barber.

My heartfelt sympathy for all the victims of Irene. I suppose that by comparison to some of the other recent natural disasters in the world, including the earthquakes in Haiti and Japan, it could have been worse, but that’s easy for me to say, safe and dry in my Northern Ontario home.



Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2011 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED