Monday, July 03, 2017

The Oppenheimer Report 7/3/17

I had a shitty week, and I mean that literally ...

About a week ago, the guy who routinely inspects our septic system equipment knocked on our door to inform me that the pump to our upper septic bed was running slowly, and may be failing. As well, we had somehow neglected to pump out the holding tanks on time, so they were both full. Before replacing the pump, I called our plumber to have him inspect it. After some discussion, we figured we should get the holding tanks pumped out first to see if this solved the problem. What followed was my education in the odiferous results of what can go wrong with a septic system.

The guy who came to pump out the tanks showed up about three hours after he was scheduled to be there. I wanted to observe the process to be more familiar with our septic system, and in case there were future problems. Weather radar indicated a serious storm blowing in, and I was hoping he’d be done by the time the storm rolled in. No such luck; shortly after he arrived and began to pump, the heavens let loose and there was a deluge. In keeping with the norm for this “summer”, the rain came down so hard and fast that water was pouring into the pump chamber as fast as the guy could pump it out. I was holding and umbrella and wearing a raincoat and I still got soaked. When he finally got the tanks pumped out, the pump was on but still not pumping properly, and the septic alarm would not turn off. On to Plan B.

The plumber was not able to make it back to our house for a day, and in the meantime, the pump tank overflowed, due to the heavy rains and the fact that the pump was not pumping. Thankfully, the overflow was minor. When the plumber did show up, he pulled out the old pump to find that there was nothing wrong with it. This meant there was a blockage or break in the 200’ pipe to the upper septic bed. This was not what I wanted to hear. I assumed this meant excavation, but Plan C involved running a small semi- rigid hose up the line from the pump tank, forcing water into the line. After almost three hours of reaming, we found four or five locations where the line was blocked. As disgusting as the procedure was, I got used to the smell, and found myself overjoyed with each flood of unblocked poop and toilet paper that came flowing back into the pump tank. We ran the hose up the line 100’ or so and cleared three or four blockages, then found another blockage near the top. I was thankful this didn’t happen in the middle of winter.

I remember years ago attending a party at someone’s summer cottage, and the sign above the toilet read, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down.” This is my first primary residence with a septic system. The new septic systems work fine if they are properly maintained, and if enough water is flushed through them. Fibrous baby wipes and feminine napkins are disastrous for septic systems. This wasn’t our problem, but we do have energy saving toilets that use less water. These toilets are fine for use with a municipal sewer system, but they are problematic for septic systems. In the past several years I’ve had to do some routine maintenance and flush out our pump tank. I now know more than I ever wanted to about our septic system. You do not want to have to pump sewage uphill, and the longer the run, the more likely it is there will be complications. This past week was an interesting and informative lesson in septic maintenance. Note to self, pump out holding tanks every five years. Now, when we replace our burned out septic alarm we will be back in business, at least for the near future. Living the dream in the Great White North.    


- Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2017 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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