The
rant du jour is on the subject of journalistic integrity. I think this term is fast
becoming an oxymoron. I kill time in the checkout line at the supermarket,
reading whatever tabloid smut is there to greet me. I do this because it is
right there in my face, and because there is something entertaining about the
complete lack of decency and/or truth in scandal rags. I realize that this
makes me as bad as every rubbernecker slowing down to watch the car wreck on
the highway, but remember, I’m an American. Apparently we Americans are stupid
and obsessed with sensationalistic lies. Well, at least 51% of us are (I
suspect more). I can hear you saying to yourself, “but those are tabloids, and
that is not responsible journalism!” Frankly, I prefer a news source that makes
no bones about their nonsense. Pick a tabloid: The National Enquirer, News Of The World, The Sun, Daily Mirror;
they are all equally entertaining. The classic tease cover photos reel me in with
close ups of celebrity cellulite, and implore me to guess whose doughy,
bikini-clad torso it is with the pudgy, matzo ball thighs. Check out this dirty
little secret, or learn about that Hollywood train wreck. Did Bubbles the chimp
have Cheetah’s love child? Inquiring minds need to know. One Christmas, I
purchased nothing but Weekly World News
headline tee shirts to give away as gifts, emblazoned with headlines like “Batboy
Lives!” or “Woman Killed by $30,000 Mink Coat” or “Man Loses Testicle Down Hot
Tub Drain”.
I,
like at least 51% of Americans, love tabloid horseshit, but here’s the thing … I
know it’s horseshit. So what does this have to do with journalism? These days,
every news source has an agenda, and it doesn’t appear to include telling the
truth. Remember the old saying: “lies, damn, lies, and statistics”. We, the
lemmings, have elected a Twitterer-in-Chief, who aptly personifies tabloid
sensationalism. Many, maybe the majority of us, feel he is ill-suited to lead.
So how did he win? He did an end run around conventional media and “the system”
and related to enough voters to win the election. Perhaps this happened because
some of us were too busy watching the sideshow, or not watching at all. CNN in
particular seems hell bent on bringing down the emperor (with no clothes), but is
the media blameless? Are we the voters? We are indignant about Rump’s twittered
prevarications, but I’ll bet at least half of America does not trust the press.
Every five minutes CNN flashes “Breaking News” on the TV screen and it’s always
the same tired and indignant attack. “Broken news” might be more fitting, or
alternative news. Whatever you call it, it is not unbiased reporting, and Edward
R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite are probably turning over in their graves. I have
not seen this kind of journalistic feeding frenzy since Nicole Brown Simpson's dog was
interviewed (in advance of his tell all book “Blood On My Paws”) during the OJ
trial. Speaking of that abomination in American justice, which concurrent story
got more coverage from CNN in 1994: the OJ trial, or the horrific genocide in Rwanda?
We’ve heard a seemingly un-ending repetition of the phrases “alternative facts”
and “fake news” and everyone is up in arms because Rump says things that defy
reality. No fan of his assholiness I, and anyone else who has even peripherally
followed this guy for the last thirty or forty years know that hyperbole and bullshit
are his modus operandi. Somehow or another, all those well-meaning Democrats as
well as the press missed the heartland. I humbly suggest that we shoot the
messengers, and while we’re at it we might want to take a long hard look at
ourselves. That is, guys like me, who love sensationalism. Maybe all that
glitters is gold. We should be seeing a lot more of that color over the next four
years.
How
bout them Patriots?! I’m not a football fan, but as Superbowls go, that was
one barn-burner, come-from-behind, first ever overtime win by the indomitable Pats (Patriots 34 - Falcons
28).
Man Loses Testicle Down Hot Tub Drain. That has got to hurt.
- Written
by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2017 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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