Happy day after Halloween. It snowed Saturday and Sunday up here in the Great White North, and as I finish writing this week’s report, our dog Jasper is furiously barking at a very confused squirrel who I believe has misplaced some of his nuts on the snow-covered landscape. I haven’t even taken up our dock for heaven’s sake. The good news is we have a retractable dock now; we can take it up without getting in the water. I will necessarily do that this week because several winters ago, I procrastinated and having been delayed for a few weeks in Toronto, I came back up in late November to find the dock frozen into the lake. We had to use a chainsaw to break it loose. The weather up here can really catch a person off guard, and the day after I took the boat back to the marina for the winter, we had a terrific wind storm. This year, I’m actually looking forward to winter because we have an ATV. For the past three winters, I have watched the crazy ice fishermen zooming around doing donuts on our frozen lake, and I was envious. This year, I can join them, but not for the ice fishing part.
I’ve got to start reading the NY Post on a regular basis. My brother-in-law, generally a Wall Street Journal sort of guy, suggested I check it out after actor Charlie Sheen set some kind of a NY Post record by making the front cover three days in a row. On a recent binge in NYC with an escort( hooker) named Capri, Mr. Sheen was apparently found naked in a restaurant bathroom, with cocaine smeared all over his face, completely disoriented and confused. Ms. Capri allegedly refused his carnal advances (restrooms are SO romantic) because he failed to ante up with the $12,000 he had promised her, and now I understand she is suing him for wrongful imprisonment, or some other equally litigious charge. Wow, how do I become a celebrity escort? For that kind of money, I’d do Flipper! Sheen also did a reported $7,000 damage to the upscale hotel room he trashed. Sounds like his character in “Two and a Half Men” isn’t much of a stretch. Of course, we must remember that tabloid journalism is not generally fair, and there IS no privacy in the life of a celebrity. Boo hoo! I’m guessing that even I might raise a few eyebrows if I was gallivanting around NYC with a couple of high-end hookers, then finally got caught in the bathroom, coked out and naked. I think that falls into the “Oops” category. About the most exciting thing I did recently was change the oil in my snow blower.
What else is news … there was an apparent plot to bomb some synagogues in Chicago, involving parcel bombs originating in Yemen. As Seth Meyers quipped on SNL, an unsolicited package postmarked Yemen and sent to a U.S synagogue might have aroused some suspicion, but who knows? The al Qaeda attack on the USS Cole took place in a Yemeni port, although Sudan was blamed for the attack. Increasingly, it seems we are engaged in a war of information and the battlefield is invisible. Once, a long time ago, I suggested, in a tongue in cheek fashion, that the mob would be a great ally in this shadow war. Tony Soprano would be able to find that pesky Bin Bombin’, and he’s not limited by those complicated rules of engagement. I’ll bet there would be less collateral damage as well. More mob, more CIA, less casualties.
Not a good week for my teams. In hockey, both the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Buffalo Sabres are struggling, although the Leafs do look a lot better this year than they have in the past four or five years. Having lost another overtime heartbreaker, this time to the Kansas City Chiefs, the Buffalo Bills are now 0-7. Like I said, the Bills are a serious incentive for their fans to participate in attitude-adjusting tailgate parties.
Finally, I got no feedback about Halloween costumes, but I read that, hands down, singer Lady Gaga was the most popular Halloween costume this year. No doubt ... the woman is a goddess. A lot of people apparently chose to be that bonehead Snookie, from the hit reality show, “The Jersey Shore,” and I heard that comic Ellen Degeneres went as Snookie’s hair. That’s amusing. Still haven’t carved our pumpkin. Is it bad form to carve a pumpkin after Halloween? Discuss.
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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