First of all, I need to acknowledge Shauna's 50th birthday, which took place last Thursday. Because of the insanity which has characterized our life over the past year (actually, the past three years), we chose a simple but meaningful celebration with immediate family. I think it was the right call, and I'm pretty sure Shauna had a good time.
Soul singer Isaac Hayes passed away last week at the age of 65. He penned a lot of good songs, and he was a definitive musical influence in the genre of soul music. In my opinion, the theme from “Shaft” was not one of his greatest efforts, but that is perhaps his most recognizable song. I have a great live recording of Hayes playing the Sands in Vegas, which I inherited from my late brother-in-law Jordan. I don’t think it added anything to the news story of Hayes’ demise to point out that he was found “collapsed next to his treadmill”. When I think of Isaac Hayes, I picture him donned in his badass chains and leather; I don’t want to picture one of the world’s coolest musicians, sprawled out on the carpet wearing some polyester gym suit, clutching a bottle of Gatorade. Indeed, there is no dignity in death, but I feel the reporting of a celebrity’s demise should be limited to that which killed him or her. Keep it brief and leave it to family and friends (or the National Enquirer) to reveal the details. Of course, there are exceptions to that rule. If, for instance, the celebrity is someone we collectively can’t stand, and his or her death was bizarre, then I want the details. If the once notorious Joey Buttafuoco should be squished into a pulpy mass of pureed fat and mangled organs by an auto wrecking machine, under questionable circumstances (read mob hit), by all means, give me the gory details. Comedian Bernie Mac also passed away last week, and he was only 52.
The Beijing Summer Olympics started a little over a week ago, and last week, I was so pre-occupied with a story about my own personal appearance, that I neglected to mention how impressed I was with the opening ceremonies. They were simply spectacular. This is a truly momentous event … China is being opened up – with obvious monitoring – for the world to see. Eager to eradicate the ominous specter of tank mashings in Tiananmen Square, and the reports of repressive censorship and human rights violations, China has a massive public relations opportunity to present herself as “just like the rest of us.” We all want to reassure ourselves that the world’s biggest economic force, and most formidable trading partner, is just as addicted to Big Macs and Chevys as the rest of us. Don’t we in the Western world secretly crave cultural homogeneity? Of course, Canada’s CBC covers the entire event, not just in bits and pieces like NBC. I particularly enjoyed hearing the Chinese national anthem … I think it’s entitled “March of the Volunteers”. Perhaps they should revise that title to include the adjective “mandatory”. Does anyone else wonder how a repressive communist country as strong as China, with as much economic influence as China has on the rest of the world, deals with the influences of the ever-expanding “free world”? Do westerners now become more repressive (some would argue we are already), or does China bend? At some point, a tsunami of information and free world permissiveness will wash over that country, and then perhaps the levee will break. I only hope it doesn’t result in a world war. Perhaps there will be no more world wars. Future conflicts may focus on economic hegemonies. When GM is swallowed up by some Chinese conglomerate, then it may be time to brush up on your Mandarin. Moo Shu Big Macs anyone?
Finally, I heard that there’s a new handbook being handed out to Catholic priests which outlines appropriate and inappropriate physical contact with children. I wonder if there is a handbook instructing the violators on how to undo the emotional devastation they cause when they abuse their young victims. Pats on the rump, bear hugs and kisses are among the examples of inappropriate behavior. Oh yes, sodomy is in there somewhere as well. Is it possible that a grown man does not understand that sodomizing a child is inappropriate behavior? I don’t think the handbook is going to stop the sodomizers … perhaps fear of castration might be a more effective deterrent.
Last note, a propos to nothing, if I have an aversion to snakes, does this mean I have a reptile dysfunction?
The Beijing Summer Olympics started a little over a week ago, and last week, I was so pre-occupied with a story about my own personal appearance, that I neglected to mention how impressed I was with the opening ceremonies. They were simply spectacular. This is a truly momentous event … China is being opened up – with obvious monitoring – for the world to see. Eager to eradicate the ominous specter of tank mashings in Tiananmen Square, and the reports of repressive censorship and human rights violations, China has a massive public relations opportunity to present herself as “just like the rest of us.” We all want to reassure ourselves that the world’s biggest economic force, and most formidable trading partner, is just as addicted to Big Macs and Chevys as the rest of us. Don’t we in the Western world secretly crave cultural homogeneity? Of course, Canada’s CBC covers the entire event, not just in bits and pieces like NBC. I particularly enjoyed hearing the Chinese national anthem … I think it’s entitled “March of the Volunteers”. Perhaps they should revise that title to include the adjective “mandatory”. Does anyone else wonder how a repressive communist country as strong as China, with as much economic influence as China has on the rest of the world, deals with the influences of the ever-expanding “free world”? Do westerners now become more repressive (some would argue we are already), or does China bend? At some point, a tsunami of information and free world permissiveness will wash over that country, and then perhaps the levee will break. I only hope it doesn’t result in a world war. Perhaps there will be no more world wars. Future conflicts may focus on economic hegemonies. When GM is swallowed up by some Chinese conglomerate, then it may be time to brush up on your Mandarin. Moo Shu Big Macs anyone?
Finally, I heard that there’s a new handbook being handed out to Catholic priests which outlines appropriate and inappropriate physical contact with children. I wonder if there is a handbook instructing the violators on how to undo the emotional devastation they cause when they abuse their young victims. Pats on the rump, bear hugs and kisses are among the examples of inappropriate behavior. Oh yes, sodomy is in there somewhere as well. Is it possible that a grown man does not understand that sodomizing a child is inappropriate behavior? I don’t think the handbook is going to stop the sodomizers … perhaps fear of castration might be a more effective deterrent.
Last note, a propos to nothing, if I have an aversion to snakes, does this mean I have a reptile dysfunction?
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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