Monday, November 09, 2020

The Oppenheimer Report 10/19/20


I met a lady the other day in the medical center as I was waiting to use the machine to pay my parking fee. She was having a problem, because the machine would only accept credit cards or cash. She only had a debit card, and the adjacent ATM machine was out of order. I suppose I could have just let her find another source of cash, which likely would have meant taking a long walk in the rain, but I paid her parking fee. It was my random act of kindness for the day. It made me feel just a little better about myself, and I helped someone in a bind. For all the people who have helped me over the year, I paid it forward.

 

If the growing list of mental health hotline ads posted online is any indication, there are a lot of people out there who are struggling emotionally right now. I know I’m one of the luckiest people in the world, and I’m having a hard time dealing with all of this. Several of my musician friends have really melted down over the past few months, and I cannot imagine how frightening the future looks to them. In many cases they were barely making ends meet before the pandemic, thanks in part to the downward spiral of the music business. Now, they can’t even gig on a regular basis.  As Toronto and other major cities face another spike in COVID 19 cases, there will inevitably be another series of mandatory shutdowns, which will likely be the death blow for a lot of restaurants, gyms, and small businesses. So many people are on their last nerve. Exacerbating all this uncertainty is the unsettling suspicion that bad behavior and lack of leadership are on the rise. Twitter, Facebook and other social media platforms fuel the flames and it takes nothing to ignite an ill-considered comment into a full-blown street fight. To quote an expression I think I first heard on Firesign Theater in the 70s, it might be time to stick my head between my legs and kiss my ass goodbye. Then again, I haven’t given up yet.

 

Yvonne Heath, one of our local volunteers at Hunters Bay Radio, a lecturer, a writer, and a former chemotherapy nurse, hosted a show on Hunters Bay Radio called “Just Show Up”. On it she interviewed people facing adversity with courage and dignity. She also wrote a very interesting book demystifying death and dying,  offering helpful advice about how to undo the stigma involved with discussing it. Just show Up is her catch phrase for helping someone out just by being there. Everywhere in this community I see courageous people coping the best they can with terrible news. Whether it’s the widow running the family marina business after her husband died following an unexpected diagnosis of ALS, or the friend recently diagnosed with an advanced case of a rare and difficult to treat prostate cancer, or  another friend who lost his house and all his possessions in a fire. The stories are all around us, and most of those people are coping the best they can, and sometimes what they need most is simply someone to listen and empathize. Most everyone in the world is struggling right now.

 

In less than a month America will elect a new president. Within the next year, there will likely be a vaccine to treat COVID 19. I think most people expect the world will go back to “normal” after these two problems are addressed. I’m not so sure. The problem is far deeper than Rump or COVID 19. It doesn’t take much to make a difference; sometimes it’s a simple as paying a stranger’s parking fee when they can’t. It made me feel good, for a moment anyway. I want to believe that person will now have just a little bit more faith in mankind because of my gesture. Maybe not, but I need a little hope injected into my life, some small reminder that kindness is not dead. I can’t fix this mess we’re in, all I can do is work to improve me. To quote Blanche Dubois: “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”    

- Written by Jamie Oppenheimer ©2020 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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