I’ve been through at least five or six of these family disasters so far,
and the inclination is to succumb to angst or self-pity. I wrestle with this
from time to time; oh woe is me, after a long and harsh winter, here we are in
the throes of spring/summer and there is yet another elder crisis with which to
deal. But these are our parents, and
they have been good parents. They sacrificed exponentially more for us than we
are now called upon to sacrifice for them. I wrote my good friend Bob the other
day, perhaps partly to rationalize my currently compromised circumstances, and
partly to remind myself to practice what I preach. In the note, I referred to a
photograph I use as the screen saver on my computer, and it is and action shot
of the two of us participating in an offshore boat poker run several years ago.
We are in Bob’s vintage 27’ Magnum Sedan Cruiser, a classic twin screw offshore
powerboat, cruising along at 40+MPH in the Lake Erie chop. It’s an aerial shot
taken from a helicopter, and shows us launching off a wave and in mid-air, with
only the outdrives barely touching the water. Bob and I share of love of boats
and rough water, and have done a bit of dangerous boating in our long career as
friends, usually in small crafts. That action shot is a reminder of a charmed life. As I strive to adjust
my attitude, I pull my little mental Zen rake through the garden of my happy
memories, and once again remember to be thankful for all that has so far been
given to me. Even these challenges are a gift.
During my “shifts” in the rehab center, I took Ethel out for walks
around the ward, and when we'd done a sufficient amount of exercise, we rewarded
ourselves by sitting out on the back balcony, off the patient lounge on her
floor, overlooking the beautiful grounds on the facility. The other day, the
trees were erupting in green, and seemingly overnight we saw spring make a
break from jail keeper Jack Frost.
Children were running around, playing happily, seemingly unaware of the
unhappy circumstances that brought them to this place. As life unfolded beneath
us, we had some good talks. I’ve had my issues with my mother-in-law, and likely she
with me, but we have shared over 20 years of our lives together and we have
come to know each other pretty well. Maybe this sad accident has a silver
lining, and maybe I needed to take a break from whatever it was I thought I was doing,
that I deemed so important, to focus on the circle of life. I’ve waited in
traffic jams, I’ve waited for elevators, I’ve waited for success, hell, I’ve
even waited in line for an hour for a ride on Space Mountain at Disney World. So
far, I’ve had many moments of joy with a beautiful wife who loves me, and I’ve
had many moments flying through the air with both props out of the water.
Finally, what give those moments meaning are the moments when I help another human
being.
- Written
by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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