The Oppenheimer Report - 5/14/12

We’ve had an electrician at our house for a few days last week. He’s been wiring our pump house and arranging for us to re-use a water pump and pressure tank left over from the old cottage. We will use this secondary pump for irrigation, car washing, etc., because we don‘t need water purified through our indoor filtration system to power wash the house. Years ago, this electrician did a lot of work with a big wrecking company in Toronto, and whenever an old building was demolished, he salvaged some of the discarded electrical fixtures. Over the years he has collected some beautiful things and the other day he brought some of them over for us to inspect. We bought four very unique hanging lights for the house, and they have particular meaning to the Taylor family. Shauna’s mom and dad were good friends with Morty Tepperman, one of the principals of that wrecking company, and the lights we bought came directly out of a building down off Front Street, originally built by Consumers Gas Company, and where the Tepperman wrecking company used to have their yard. The electrician had been holding on to these light fixtures for over 25 years, and thought they might look good in our house. He was right, because our house is full of unusual fixtures and furniture. Lately strange coincidences have come up and Shauna and especially her mom believe that it means long lost friends are trying to make contact. There’s a story my mother-in-law likes to tell about her friend Morty Tepperman. He died long before his time from a heart attack, and the Taylors were deeply saddened by the loss. Shauna’s mom was in the hospital for some reason and Morty went to visit her. He brought her some roses, but when he got to the hospital, she had already been released. He died within the next day and never had a chance to deliver the roses. The next Spring, a rose sprung up in Ethel’s garden where no rose was planted. She figures that it was Morty making his presence known.

If you follow this blog you may have noticed that last winter I posted a picture of myself hugging a very large outboard motor at the Toronto Boat Show. While this may have seemed an unusual display of affection to my twelve loyal readers, that wasn’t just any outboard motor; it was the new motor I’d just purchased for my fishing boat. Some time in the next several days I will pick the boat up at our marina rigged with that new outboard, new steering cables, new seat cushions, and a working depth finder (finally). Call it my nautical extreme makeover. I had owned the original Yamaha outboard for over 20 years and while it served me faithfully, the time had come time to trade it in. The old beast was not particularly fuel efficient, it smoked like a chimney, and was extremely hard starting in cold weather. The new motor, although also a 2 stroke (oil and gas are mixed together for fuel) promises to be both fuel efficient, cleaner running, and easy to start. I love power boating, and I look forward to logging some quality time in the new and improved craft.

I believe I may have finally solved the how-to-keep-my-newly-required-eyeglasses-from-disappearing conundrum, and you can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. I’m having trouble getting used to the fact that I need to wear glasses now for reading, and I often forget to carry them with me. This in turn causes me to curse and complain incessantly, annoying anyone around me. It's  becoming a bigger and bigger problem, as I become blinder by the minute. I can’t stand those things that hang loosely around my neck and attach to my glasses, and every time I bend over they drop off. Same goes for my shirt pocket or just about anywhere else I keep them. I have 20 pairs of dollar store glasses lying around all over the house, but they’re never there when I need them. Today, while we were in purchasing Shauna’s new glasses, I noticed the owner of the store wearing unusual reading glasses, that actually split in half at the nose piece. They re-connect with a magnet and, when not in use, wrap around my neck. I bought a pair and they may do the trick. At least they don’t fall off when I bend over. I still don’t like having to keep reading glasses on my person, but this may be a tolerable solution.

If you thought the financial fallout was a thing of the past, guess again. Last week investment giant JP Morgan Chase announced a $2 Billion loss resulting from some bad risk assessment. Oops. While Greece and Spain teeter on the brink of insolvency, threatening to take the rest of Europe with them, and the North American “recovery” is stuck in first gear, this kind of news isn’t encouraging. Looks like Biff might not be getting that new BMW for graduation after all. What we need is a healthy infusion of denial on Wall Street, just like the good old days.



Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2012 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED