It’s time once again for New Yorkers to elect a new governor, and not that anybody cares outside of New York State, but Carl Paladino, a Buffalo real estate developer, is running as the Republican candidate against Democrat Andrew Cuomo. This race interests me, because it promises to get really ugly, and I am, as most of my readers know, a huge fan of bad behavior. Paladino is decidedly the underdog in a predominantly Democratic state, but he is not a career bureaucrat, and that may be attractive to some of the NY voters. Many New Yorkers who work and pay the lion’s share of the taxes here are fed up. Nobody expected Paladino to win the Republican nod in the primaries, but he rallied for the upstate vote and beat the incumbent. A few weeks ago, I read a blurb in the Buffalo News wherein Cuomo, who is former NYS Gov. Mario Cuomo’s son, said he would not resort to mudslinging. That self-righteous proclamation came a day after his party put out a disparaging cartoon depicting Paladino as a pig at the public trough. Paladino is no angel, and perhaps he has been an opportunist when it comes to available State money ( he leases office space to a lot of State agencies), but I laugh when I see one side indignant about the morality of the other side. To presume that either of these candidates is going to tackle the issues is ludicrous, because New York State is so mired in political quagmire that what it really needs is a giant can of Whoop Ass. Paladino might be just the S.O.B. to clean house. The fact is, Cuomo will never get into the ring with Carl Paladino, because he has too much to lose. He’ll simply run his weasel attack ads and sit back. As a Democrat in New York State, all he really needs to do is avoid making some colossal mistake and he’s probably a shoe-in. There are twice as many registered Democrats in this State as Republicans, and short of being accused of child molestation or of being a Dolphins fan, Cuomo will likely be the next governor of New York State. Having said that, I worked in the Buffalo real estate market for over twenty years, and I had some exposure to Carl Paladino. He’s a fighter. I’d be surprised if this race doesn’t turn really nasty soon, and I look forward to the unsavory and completely irrelevant volley of personal attacks. It is remotely possible that New York voters will turn on Cuomo simply because he represents the status quo. New York State is driving its businesses away right and left with mismanagement and high taxes, and I’ve always said that I rather have a businessman in office than a career bureaucrat. Paladino recently jumped on the No-Mosque-at-Ground-Zero bandwagon, and while I’m not sure I agree with that position, it is likely to win him a few voters downstate. Grab your seats and let the slander, lies, character assassination, and backstabbing begin!
Our Welsh Corgi “Tuppy” (proper name “Tuppence”) has been granted a stay of execution, and last Thursday I drove down to Buffalo to pick her up after her expensive four day visit to the vet. The vet has put her on a some special antibiotic and special renal diet food, and he is guardedly optimistic that the dog will respond to the treatment. Her sickness is kidney-related, and I doubt it helps that my mother is secretly feeding her people food at the dinner table. Tuppy had an entire pork chop the other day that Mom “accidentally” dropped on the floor. Here’s another curveball I hadn‘t anticipated: my confused mother is inadvertently killing the beloved family dog because she has forgotten the rules she herself used to enforce so strictly. Admittedly, a pork chop probably didn’t send the dog into kidney failure, but it may explain why she threw up repeatedly and became severely dehydrated. Anyhow, the dog was down for the count and the vet managed to bring her back to life. This time. Nothing wrong with the dog’s appetite … even when she could hardly lift her head that first day at the vet, she somehow managed to hoover down a full portion of whatever food was put in front of her. Because she is beginning to have some trouble with stairs, I bought a contraption which is a kind of dog harness with a handle. I can lift her up with this thing and keep her from falling down the stairs. I realize that Tuppy is probably living on borrowed time, but her therapeutic value for Mom is immeasurable, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her among the living (within reason). My friend Bob suggests that if the dog does die I have her stuffed in the sleeping position. "Don’t worry Mom, she’s just sleeping." Very nice Bob, thank you for that helpful suggestion. I will take that deeply twisted, cynical, sarcastic suggestion under advisement. Roy Rogers had Trigger stuffed; I think that's kind of an odd thing to do ... I mean maybe the family parakeet, but a horse? And where did he put it once it was stuffed, in the foyer? Just hang your hat on his hoof. I digress
Anyhow, thanks to all the dog lovers out there who have expressed their genuine concern (hear that Bob … GENUINE concern) over Tuppy’s recent tribulations. All twelve of you who may read this … remember, it’s my birthday next Friday, so be nice, for a change.
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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