The Oppenheimer Report 3/29/10

Well, it’s that time of year again, when the crocuses begin to bloom (prematurely), the ice melts (causing floods), the animals begin to emerge from their winter sleep (to rummage through our garbage), the Toronto Maple Leafs once again find themselves in a “too-little-too-late” position to make the playoffs … and I look through the swap sheet for toys I cannot afford. There is a Canadian buy and sell service available known as Kijiji, and online I can browse the 1500 or more ATV’s and motorcycles available in my area with the click of a mouse. Akin to window shopping, I call this monitor shopping, and it is much cheaper than buying the weekly swap sheet for three bucks. I love to comparison shop, and while I am rather half-heartedly searching for a good bargain on a used ATV, I’m in no hurry. That said, there are some decent bargains out there. Last summer I had access to a 4x4 Suzuki ATV owned by one of the carpenters, who brought it to use on our job. Not only was it fun to play with, it was also quite handy. I used it several times to haul firewood down to the house from the top of our long driveway. As well, we used it once to grade the driveway. One time, when a tree fell across the driveway, I cut it in half with a chainsaw and was able to pull the two halves out of the way in no time. A lot of people up here own snowmobiles, but I’ve never really had much use for one of those. As toys go, ATVs are pretty good in the snow as well and I can use it all year round. I think they are even allowed on secondary roads if they are plated.



Last week, my cousin Louis Reich passed away in Buffalo, and family came in from all around for the funeral. My sister and brother-in-law drove in from New Canaan, Ct., cancelling plans to celebrate my brother-in-law’s 65th birthday. I felt bad for my brother-in-law - 65 is a big birthday - so, on Saturday I suggested we make a road trip to Niagara Falls to do a little male bonding. Ostensibly, our destination was Love Canal, but in fact these road trips are an excuse to get out of the house, cruise around, reminisce about relatively mundane events (like getting drunk), which have gradually been transformed into exciting adventures with the passage of time. Usually, we end up playing a little eight ball in a dive bar. Though I had been to Love Canal - they call it something different now, like Black Creek - last year with my pal Bob, it was still surprising to see that it has been almost entirely re-developed. Little low income houses have popped up everywhere and the area is full of residents. Gone are all the boarded, toxic carcasses of homes long since abandoned by the emigrating residents of Love Canal. Now, all that remains of the old development are a few bulldozed foundations and the odd remnant of construction debris. Even the bright yellow hazardous waste signs have been removed from the fence surrounding the adjacent containment site. Perhaps the area is once again safe for redevelopment, and I suppose they wouldn’t make the same mistake twice (hah!) but, not unlike an Indian burial ground, I think it might have been appropriate not to re-populate the area. The old school has been leveled, but we parked in the school parking lot and made the obligatory viewing of the actual canal. As we walked out onto the little bridge that spans the canal, we were both shocked to see a fluorescent green substance, not unlike anti-freeze, oozing out of a sewer pipe and directly into the canal water. I guess some things never change. Having sold industrial real estate in Western New York for more than two decades, I suspect that there are dozens of hazardous waste sites throughout Niagara and Erie Counties, many which are situated dangerously close to heavily populated areas.



Anyhow, I suppose a trip to Love Canal is no substitute for a special 65th birthday party, spent with a bunch of his old friends. Nevertheless, I’m glad Larry and I had the opportunity to spend a little time together. In keeping with his tendency to give cheap and inappropriate gifts, I bought him a grab bag from the local dollar store filled with things like a synthetic hair replacement, a pill container, a tin of potted ham (fifty-seven cents), and a book of Sudoku puzzles. Happy Birthday dude … live long and prosper! Today, Monday, I’m back up north to first night of Passover, and tonight I will attend a Seder supper with Shauna and her family. Passover is a Jewish holiday which lasts seven days and commemorates the freedom of the Jews from Egyptian slavery. It also marks a time when Jews all over the world eat unnatural foods like gefilte fish and matzo. I can‘t wait.



Louie, you were a good guy and we’ll all miss you.



Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED