Because it gets pretty cold up here in the Great White North, proper winter apparel is essential. Even Jasper needs winter clothing. A lot of people don’t think their dogs need to keep warm, and while this is true for some breeds, Miniature Schnauzers get cold. I made a jacket for our last dog, fashioned out of polar fleece in the colors of the Canadian flag, but that coat doesn’t quite fit Jasper. Now she’s wearing a lovely little hand knit (not my me) ensemble when she goes outside. The big problem is keeping her paws warm. Her paws are very sensitive ice, snow and salt, and when it gets really cold, she simply sits down in the snow and picks up one paw in protest. When we were walking her around in Toronto, there was also a lot of salt, and salt really stings a dog's paws. Jasper does not like to wear boots. I bought her a pair of “MuttLucks”, which are the industry standard in K-9 winter footwear. They were the right size, but no matter how tightly I put them on, they kept coming off. I should say, she kicked them off. She’d stand in one position and kick her back legs out until they flew off. I tried cutting up small balloons and wrapping those around her paws, because someone told me those work. They didn’t. I even hand made a pair, but those were useless as well. Finally, we found a pair, at Wal-Mart of all places, that fit and stayed on. She’s much happier now when she walks in the snow, although it is still very difficult to put them on her. As soon as she sees them, she hides under the dining room table, where she knows I can’t reach her, and when I do manage to coral her, she is completely un co-operative. The other day, I noticed that the pads on two of these boots had worn through, so I bought a small piece of leather to patch them. The patch made those two boots stiffer, and now, when she walks around in them, they make loud clapping noise. It’s pretty funny to see her clomping around the house in these things, but they really do help. Last year, when I volunteered at the Kearney dogsled races, I noticed that many of the sled dogs wear booties. I can just imagine Jasper as a sled dog.
When it gets down in the minus digits, I too don the heavy artillery. I wear my long johns, I own several good winter coats, and I have two, count ‘em two, trooper hats. Those are the funny hats with the flaps that come down over your ears. The first hat is made of some synthetic wool substitute, and I wear that one when the mercury drops into the single digits. The second one is leather, lined with genuine Pica fur (nobody’s thrown blood at me yet, but I’m sure the day will come), and that hat is good to forty below. These trooper hats are pretty silly looking when one wears them with the flaps down, but they’re even sillier when, as I do, one wears them with the flaps half down. In Buffalo, I found an army navy store that sold orange ones, and one year I bought them as gifts for all my friends. Nothing says “I care” like a bright orange vinyl trooper hat. Gloves are another story. Although I have a lot of pairs of gloves, but with gloves you sacrifice dexterity for warmth. Despite all the hoopla about Thinsulate, I have yet to find a thin glove which keeps my hands warm. Mitts are better, but then you really sacrifice dexterity. As for boots, I like the felt-lined snowmobile style boots, because they’re good in the deep snow. We bought a pair for my father-in-law the other day, but he finds them difficult to put on and take off. Any way you slice it, winter’s a big pain in the butt.
Body scanners in the airports? I suppose it’s not a bad idea. I certainly don’t agree with all those civil libertarian hose heads who claim this violates our rights to privacy. I maintain that one loses some of those rights when one elects to go out in public. If you wish to blow yourself up in your own home, without endangering the general population, go right ahead. Still, I’m not so sure these body scanners are going to solve the problem. When somebody figures out a way to scan for malevolent intent, then maybe we’ll be safer. Until then, I think we’re s-o-l.
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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