The Oppenheimer Report 6/3/19

Shauna with Jon Brooks 6/1/19

Last Wednesday marked the 25^th anniversary of my marriage to Shauna Leigh. We have been through a lot as a couple, yet the fundamental principles that brought us together are still intact. Because Shauna has been incarcerated by illness for almost two years, these past few weeks have, figuratively speaking, been the spring to our prolonged winter. We’ve been out four or five times together during the past month, and Shauna is slowly beginning to regain some of her independence and self-esteem, which had been eroded by her two-year struggle to regain some sense of normalcy. As many of my readers can attest, illness is isolating and demoralizing. Until we lose our good health, we sometimes take for granted the mundane pleasures of life. A walk, a dinner out, a house concert, or the simple act of doing the laundry together, all become more meaningful after a long bout of illness.

Friends and family worry about me, because I am the caregiver. Shauna has suffered from a myriad of debilitating chronic illnesses, likely triggered by an episode of severe food poisoning, which almost killed her she was a young woman. I was well aware of Shauna’s medical condition before we married, but I knew in my heart that there was enough love and mutual respect to make the marriage work. I don’t think anyone knows for sure what a lifetime commitment is going to entail, and judging from divorce statistics nowadays, a lot of folks throw in the towel before they find out. No one, regardless of their circumstances, escapes adversity in their lives. These past two years have proved to be a test for us. Anyone put in this position knows how hard it can be emotionally, both on the caregiver, and on the one who is ill. The logical advice is that caregivers need to take care of themselves so that they can take care of others, but it’s remarkable how that logic goes out the window when the sh#t hits the fan. The good news is that Shauna seems to have weathered this latest storm, and is beginning to recover from the neurological attack which came close to blinding her.

  

On our anniversary, we spent the day in Huntsville, took a short walk, enjoyed a great iced coffee at The Nutty Chocolatier, and ended the day with a sumptuous feast at the Tall Trees Restaurant. To most, these activities would have seemed mundane, but to a couple sidelined by illness, this was a long overdue vacation. In this report I often speak about losing perspective. In my youth I took a lot for granted, but have lately begun to feel thankful for simpler things. It is largely a North American myth that material possessions and monetary wealth are the only measures of prosperity, but I’ve learned a hard lesson that prosperity without health and contentment is meaningless.

Last Saturday night, Shauna and I attended a house concert together, featuring the brilliant Jon Brooks, one of our favorite songwriters (accompanied by bassist Vivienne Wilder and our own Sean Cotton on guitar). The concert was held at the Bracebridge home of Hunters Bay Radio host and friend Silver Lake Joe Thompson and his wife Corinna. It was a wonderful night of music and laughter. Since Shauna’s re-entry into the outside world, we have attended two excellent house concerts in Muskoka, both having occurred within the last month. After music brought us together, twenty-five years ago last Wednesday, I married the woman I deemed to be my soul mate. Shauna, I’m glad you’re starting to get back on your feet, and that we are once again sharing live performances together. Here’s hoping we will attend many more concerts, side by side, throughout next twenty-five years!

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer ©2019
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jamieoppenheimersongwriter@gmail.com