The Oppenheimer Report 6/17/19

Another Father’s Day has come and gone, and I am always reminded of my dad when the day rolls around. If you have a good dad, I hope you appreciate or appreciated him, not just on Father’s Day, but every day he is alive. Anyone who has been reading this report for a while knows that I have great love and respect for my departed parents. Sometimes, when I’m out and about, and I see a boomer caring for his or her elderly parent, I am reminded of some of the challenges my family faced when my parents got old. Both my mom and dad lived well into their 90s, and I might have been one of the first of my circle of friends to face those challenges. There were some difficult times. Someone once suggested to me that that the most horrible thing for an elder to experience is the loss of their ability to think and reason. I’m not sure I agree. My mom was in a state of advanced Lewy Body dementia for almost five years before she passed. While caring for her was complicated and challenging, I think her deterioration was harder on her loved ones and her caregivers than it was on her. She and my then nonagenarian dad spent their last years at home, accompanied by round the clock caregivers. I think all of it was harder on my father, because was relatively clear-headed until he passed at 98. A fiercely independent man, he had difficulty coping with the loss of his dignity, and the gradual erosion of his quality of life. As our elderly population grows, and more of my peers are facing the challenges of caring for their elderly parents, it’s easy for both the children and the parent to lose perspective. The Golden Years are not always so golden.

I remember sitting with my dad at his bedside one night, shortly before he passed on, and he told me he felt as if he had no purpose. He wanted to die. I am sure other children have had this experience with their elder parents, but I did not know what to do with that information. Dad had lost his perspective on what he had achieved in his life, and how much his life had positively impacted others. The next morning, I wrote him a long letter, and in it I pointed out some of the things he’d forgotten about his numerous achievements in life. It didn’t matter if he could no longer balance a check book, or to change the furnace filters by himself. He had done a lot of wonderful, unselfish things, and he’d been a great dad. I just wanted him to know that his son respected him and loved him for the good man he had so consistently been. Old age can be an emotional mine field, and it might be the hardest mental challenge I have ever encountered. If it was hard on me, I cannot imagine what it was like for my dad. I guess this is all a long-winded way of saying, if you have (had) good parents be thankful. My parents weren’t perfect, no parents are, but they taught me the meaning of love, and no matter what happens to me now, I am armed with the best defense I could ever hope to have.

Last Thursday night was notable for several reasons. First, we held a very successful, well-attended HBR fundraiser concert at the Algonquin Theatre in Huntsville, wherein over thirty local musicians, organized by our talented fearless leader Sean Cotton, re-created the legendary Joe Cocker’s Mad Dogs & Englishmen concert. After a high energy show, we all headed over to the Huntsville Brewhouse to watch the Raptors beat the Golden State Warriors for their first ever NBA championship in Raptors history. What a thrill it was to watch this historic event with an enthusiastic crowd in a bar! As I write this, Shauna and I are watching the Raptors victory parade presently creeping towards Toronto’s City Hall. There are reportedly over 2 Million people celebrating in and around Nathan Phillips Square, and this may be one of Canada’s proudest moments in a  long time. I’m happy for Toronto fans, and delighted to see the country celebrating so happily.  

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer ©2019
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
jamieoppenheimersongwriter@gmail.com

Jamie Oppenheimer, Songwriter, Author, Blogger, Radio Producer, & Host has been writing THE OPPENHEIMER REPORT every MONDAY since 1992 and has published the articles on his blog since 2006. We are including Jamie's weekly reports, as a new feature of #HuntersBayRadio, The Bay 88.7FM.
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