The Oppenheimer Report 1/29/08

When we embarked on this journey towards the completion of our log home, over two years ago, Shauna did her usual copious research and investigated dozens of log home options. The process made us a little apprehensive, because the more we read and researched, the more questions we had. There have been volumes written on the subject of log home construction, with thousands of caveats and horror stories. Our very first glimmer of hope came from a salesman named Dave Schemenauer from Neville Log Homes in Kamloops, British Columbia. I remember the day Shauna first spoke to him on the phone, and the enthusiasm with which she recounted to me his helpful and educational explanation of what we could expect to experience during the construction of our log home. It was his capable assistance that sold us on a Neville Log Home, and we have never been sorry about our choice. He has been a constant source of information and guidance throughout the process, and much of what he forewarned us came to pass. Round log packages vary from manufacturer to manufacturer, and in some cases, what differentiates one company from another is the level of customer service. Long after we had paid for our log package (about a year after we started talking to Dave), when he could have legitimately told us to “move on”, he remained available to us, patiently addressing our many concerns, always willing to offer his two cents worth for the custom log home he’d helped us to design. Indicative of his personal touch, Dave even took the 2 1/2 hour drive up from Toronto last autumn to make a personal inspection of our unfinished house, while he was in Toronto for a home show. In short, Dave Schemenauer has been and continues to be a good friend to Shauna and me.

Several weeks ago – before Christmas I believe – we got a call from Dave to inform us that a package would be arriving by Greyhound bus “sometime soon”. He was rather mysterious about what the package contained, but implied that it was bigger than a bread box. After some delays, Dave called us last week and told us it would arrive soon, which it did. Shauna and I picked it up in Huntsville last Tuesday. It came in the form of two, somewhat cylindrical 75 Lb. cardboard packages which stood about 4 feet high. When we got them home, and unwrapped them, it turned out that Dave’s gift to us was two upright bears carved out of (I believe) Western Red Cedar, and there was a third item as well: a sign which reads “Welcome to Jasper Bark Lodge”. The bears are sign posts (see photo above). Needless to say, Shauna and I were amazed and delighted by the gift. When we called him to thank him for his generosity, he asked us to give him a call when we’d named them.

The timing of these bears is propitious. Yesterday, the final valley log was placed and the last portion of our roof is well along the way to being covered. Weather permitting (hah!), our house should be completely covered by this time next week. As well, yesterday, the roofer and his crew arrived and began installing the steel roof. As of today, much has been accomplished and that metal roof looks great. We are learning that, where construction is concerned, there are sometimes long periods wherein it seems as if little is accomplished, then, two days later, everything is different. This log home project is suddenly beginning to look like a house, and a beautiful one at that. Hold your horses Jamie … we still have the windows to install, the fireplaces to build, more stone to lay on the turrets, interior walls to frame and side, the kitchen and bathrooms to install, the floor to lay, the plumbing and HVAC to install, a LOT of staining to do, etc. etc. This build has been a real roller coaster ride, but for the first time, we can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks, as always, to the Thornton Group, for being the fantastic builders they are, and thank you, Dave Schemenauer, for your consistent generosity. Our bears, “Shem” & “Nauer” may be welcoming guests to the Jasper Bark Lodge sooner rather than later.
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 1/21/08

Did you ever see that journal spoof on the Internet wherein the naive resident, new to an area which received massive amounts of snow, began his entries reveling in the bucolic beauty of his winter wonderland? Gradually, he became more and more negative with each successive day of snowfall, and by about the fourth week, he was cursing the snow as he became increasingly (and I love this expression) shack whacky. A few weeks ago, I was joking about how I was ardently resisting the temptation to buy a snow blower. For the past few days, we have been getting dumped upon up here in the lovely community of Burk’s Falls. Last Friday, we awoke to a foot of the white stuff and, no problem, I dug us out. Saturday, the same thing happened, and again, no problem. No sooner did I finish that vigorous 30 minutes of shoveling, when we received a third dumping. I’m still O.K. with this, and will likely grudgingly continue my manual snow removal routine throughout this winter, if only to reinforce how lovely it will be to have a snow blower next year.

As a tease, I bought a copy of the local “Buy and Sell” swap sheet the other day, and looked into various exotic snow removal options. I can buy a slightly used 1953 Ford tractor that “runs good” for only $1800. All I need to do is buy a plow for the front. Another option is to buy a beater truck with a V-8 and a snowplow attachment. The problem with those rigs is that I wouldn’t know how warn out the truck is … a little sawdust goes a long way to disguising a bad transmission. My favorite option is a 4 wheel drive ATV with a snow blower attachment. The great part about that option is that I can use the ATV as a (fun to use) utility vehicle during the summer months as well. Glenn, our great building project supervisor and my resident expert on all things mechanical, assures me that I need one with at least a 400 cc motor. I’m thinking 700 ccs would be better. That way, I could plow snow at 40 MPH, or pull my car out of a ditch.

Actor Heath Ledger, perhaps most famous for his leading role in the controversial movie “Brokeback Mountain” (homosexual cowboys? - who knew?), is dead at 28. I’m guessing it wasn’t the Ambien. In U.S. Politics, Hillary and Rock Star Obama got into a cat fight at the last Democratic debate in South Carolina. As I predicted months ago, when it seemed as if George Bush would drive even the most ardent Republicans over to the donkeys, the Democrats seem to exhibit an irrepressible tendency for self-destruction. Yesterday’s debate confirmed that theory, and it is ironic that John Edwards, the candidate with a cold chance in h-ll of being nominated, appeared to have taken the high road as the two front-runners gnawed each other to political death. The Toronto Maple Leafs fired their GM, John Ferguson, and being cautiously optimistic, as are all Leafs fans, I hope that the new guy will point the Leafs in the right direction. Hey guys, just get us into the playoffs for a change. Finally, our great carpenters are working on the last of four “valley logs” for the roof structure, meaning that, perhaps within a week to ten days, the house will be completely covered from above. Most of the casement windows have been repaired or replaced, and are nearby being stained, and exterior doors are on order. The house won’t be finished any time soon, but perhaps in the near future, we will be able to camp out on the floor! Gotta go now, Shauna and I are about to have what I’m sure will be a 3-hour discussion about how random we want our random-width, random-length pine floor planks to be.
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 1/14/08

During the winter, I like to ice skate. When we were living in Toronto, I skated on the outdoor rink next to City Hall, and that was fun. In general, I prefer to skate on outdoor rinks, but up here in Burk’s Falls, there is an indoor arena within walking distance of our rental home. Open skating is free, and I try to get over there once a week. These days, my exercise consists mainly of walking the dog, and walking into town to pick up the newspaper. Ice skating is a better way to burn some calories. Yesterday, I went over for my weekly skate, and there was a sign out in front of the arena advertising that the Burk’s Falls Winterfest was taking place inside. I’m always up for an adventure, so I went inside. I was greeted by one of the members of the Town council, asking me for two bucks; a small price to pay in order to attend this entertainment bonanza. For my money, I received a “Pete the Bear” admission pin. Pete used to be a Burk’s Falls mascot, before he succumbed to the evils of drugs and rock ‘n roll. There were a lot of people in the arena, but most of them were milling about eating french fries and hotdogs. I put on my ear buds, cranked up the Pink Floyd, and began my rigorous 20 minute workout on the ice. The few skaters that were on the ice were tiny tots on double runners, moms, dads, and a small gang of reckless ten year-olds. I find that latter group particularly challenging, because their actions are so unpredictable. I skated for a while, dodging adolescent obstacles and weaving around the slower skaters. I was quite proud of myself because, not to be immodest, I felt I was a much better skater than most of the ten year-olds out there. When I was about ready to take my last lap, I noticed that one of the mothers was handing out gift bags to various kids, prizes I suppose for winning a race or something. I thought that was nice. As I was getting ready to skate off the ice, I heard someone behind me calling “Sir … hello! … sir! …” and it was one of the mothers, chasing after me with a gift bag in her hand. I took off my earphones, and she said to me, and I quote: “We’re giving out a prize to the youngest and oldest person out on the ice today, and we’ve decided you’re the oldest.” I thought perhaps I was going to win a prize for being a good skater, but it was because I was, in their estimation, the oldest skater out there. I didn’t know exactly how to feel about that – it appeared to me as if some of the other people out on the ice might have been older than I, but I politely, if reluctantly, accepted the gift. I guess it’s official: I’m old.

Months ago, I mentioned that I’d finally had a proper demo made of one of my songs. That song is “Strange Holiday” and if you’re interested, you can click on the “Jamie’s Songs” link on this blog site and check it out on MySpace Music. The song is performed by my friend Bobby Cameron, and I hope you’ll give it a listen; Bobby’s got a great voice, and boy, can he play the guitar. He’s also a good songwriter in his own right, and I feel honored that he agreed to cover one of my tunes. I’m not sure you’ll find my songs on ITunes anytime soon, but one never knows.

It never ceases to amaze me how ridiculous the news media can be when it comes to covering just about anything. Last week, I listened to much of the drivel about the “washed up” careers of several primary candidates in the States, and my question is this: how can someone decide that a candidate is washed up after only two primaries? So far, almost all the experts have been dead wrong in their predictions, and the only refreshing part about that is the fact that the voters have proven that, regardless of what the overtly manipulative media try to put forth, voters seem to be voting their conscience, for better or for worse. Obama and Clinton have turned into a bit of a horse race, which I never saw coming. Perhaps a dark horse will emerge as the next president of the United States. How does President Kucinich sound to you? Now that I am an unofficial member of AARP, I wonder who the “fossil-friendly” candidates are. Oldest person on the ice…jeesh!

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 1/7/08

We watched some of the coverage of the Iowa caucuses last week, as well as the New Hampshire debates (Republican and Democratic). It’s amazing what one will watch when there is a writer’s strike on. I wonder what David Letterman offered his writers in order to bring them back. Though I do not know what the issues are in this latest strike, I am glad that people are made to recognize how important a writer’s contribution is, not only to television, but to movies, and music. So often, I think the front line performers receive the lion’s share of the credit.

In desperate need of some levity, the other night, I tried to name all of the cartoon characters I remember from my youth, dating back to the very old Looney Tunes. The trigger for this exercise was listening to an old blues song which featured a Hammond organ. That reminded me of the theme from an old cartoon I used to watch called “Q.T. Hush”. Q.T. Hush and his sidekick Shamus were animated K-9 versions of Sherlock Holmes and his companion Watson. Does anybody remember “Clutch Cargo”, perhaps the most poorly animated popular cartoon in history? My hands down favorite cartoon characters are the creations of Jay Ward, Alex Anderson, and Bill Ward: Rocky the Flying Squirrel (a.k.a Rocket J. Squirrel) and Bullwinkle J. Moose, and to this day, I still love watching those cartoons. Remember Shermon and Mr. Peabody, the Wayback Machine, Fractured Fairy Tales, Boris Badenov, Natasha Fatale, Fearless Leader? In the Town of Banff, many of the streets are named after animals, and there is actually an intersection of Moose and Squirrel. I always thought it would be fun to live at that corner. Let’s see how many other cartoon characters I can summon up (in no particular order) : Huckleberry Hound, Augie Doggie, Doggie Daddy, Quickdraw McGraw, Baba Looey, Foghorn Leghorn, Felix the Cat, Master Cylinder, The Jetsons (George, Mary, Judy, Elmo, Rosie, Astro, Mr. Spacely), The Flintstones (Fred, Wilma, Barney, Betty, Pebbles, Bam Bam, Dino), Porky Pig, Bugs Bunny, Donald Duck, Goofy, Pluto, Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Tom and Jerry, Wile E. Coyote, Road Runner, Tweedy Bird, Sylvester the Cat, Pepe Le Pew, Space Ghost, Jonny Quest, Dr. Benton Quest, Hadji, Bandit, Race Bannon, Beanie and Cecil, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Scooby-Doo, Shaggy, Huey, Dewey, & Louie, Underdog, Yogi Bear, BooBoo Bear, Top Cat, Droopy Dog, Hong Kong Phooey, George of the Jungle, Magilla Gorilla, Chip and Dale, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Baby Huey, Woody Woodpecker, Speedy Gonzales, The Tasmanian Devil, Dudley DoRight, Horse, Nell, Snidely Whiplash, Inspector Fenwick (Nell’s dad), Mr. Magoo … and that’s off the top of my head. I’m sure I’ve forgotten plenty of good ones. Cartoons played an important part in my twisted development, and I still enjoy watching them today. Jasper does too; sometimes, we all watch Saturday morning cartoons together. She has developed my fondness for Moose and Squirrel.

Fun Facts: Walter Lantz, creator of Woody the Woodpecker, penned his first cartoon character, Dinky Doodle, back in 1924. Frostbite Falls, home of Rocky and Bullwinkle, was based on the Town of International Falls, Minnesota, located near the Canadian border. International Falls was once called “The Icebox of America.” “The Frostbite Falls Review” was the predecessor to the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, and included many characters later cut from the roster. Google “Hanna Barbera” or “Looney Tunes” or “Rocky and Bullwinkle” if you too wish to take a trip down cartoon memory lane. If you ask me, it beats evaluating the increasingly irresponsible attack ads influencing the upcoming primaries.
- Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2007 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED