The Oppenheimer Report 2/13/17

A snowblown heart

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and like all red-blooded male lovers with a heartbeat, I choose to profess my undying love to my lifelong mate on Facebook. A few days ago, Facebook re-posted a photo my wife Shauna had taken years ago, of the two of us posing in front of Mt. Assiniboine in British Columbia. To celebrate our 10^th Anniversary, we stayed at the very exclusive and remote Mt. Assiniboine Lodge for a few days. It was a wonderful memory that we will revisit for the rest of our lives. The mountain hiking was spectacular, and we had a little log cabin, all to ourselves, facing the “Matterhorn of the Rockies”. Looking at that photo, I am reminded of all the road trips and travel adventures Shauna and I have shared together, and so I posted my Valentine’s message to her under that photo. Not only am I romantic, I am thrifty to boot.

I heard someone discussing the origins of Valentine’s Day on the radio the other day, and it apparently dates back to the days of the Roman Empire. The holiday has morphed into a do or die proclamation of love, complete with the obligatory dozen, long-stemmed red roses, and dinner at a swanky restaurant. I feel the same way about Valentine’s Day that I do about Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or Yom Kippur. It is fine to celebrate the occasion, but why do we put ourselves under pressure to declare these feelings for just one day? Are we charitable of heart for one day, do we atone for our sins for one day; do we profess our love for one day? Valentine’s Day is a racket. It’s good for florists, restaurants, and candy vendors, but I think it is amateur hour for those truly in love. Many years ago, I wrote a Valentine’s Day song for Shauna, and I perform it for her every year on February 14th. I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of that song, and the best part about it is that it is an honest declaration of my love. If anyone is interested in hearing it (no pressure, but there will be a quiz in the next report), the song can be heard by clicking on the following link and scrolling to “Valentine’s Song For Shauna”: https://soundcloud.com/shauna-leigh-taylor/sets/songs-by-jamie-oppenheimer. Another annual Valentine’s Day tradition used to be my purchase of some unique Valentine gift from the dollar store. Nothing says “I Love You” quite like a pair of Happy Valentine’s Day, plastic pink, heart-shaped handcuffs, made in China. Fifty shades of pink, on a budget of two dollars or less.  I’ve never bought a heart-shaped box of chocolates in my life. To me, that’s just phoning it in. As Valentine’s Day candy goes, I prefer cinnamon hearts, and I’m not too keen on those weird, chalky, pastel-colored, candy hearts with silly love messages printed on them. I put those in the same category as candy corn at Halloween. Blecch.

A few weeks ago, my songwriter friend Doug McLean, who hosts a blues show on Hunters Bay Radio, Monday nights after Bingo, mentioned that the third Monday of January is widely considered the most depressing day of the winter. I’ll admit, I’ve been a victim of the winter blues of late, although I experienced a slight delay in the emotion. It descended upon me last week. It could be all the negative press from which I cannot seem to extricate myself, or it might be that I have not slept in a week, due to a recent invasion of squirrels in our roof. I am hoping this scourge will soon be eradicated. Mother Nature has her checks and balances, and I’m hoping that I don’t need to break out the heavy artillery. I hate using that flamethrower. A big owl has recently taken up residence in a nearby tree and will, we hope, solve this problem as nature intended. If only mankind would follow the same rules.

“I’m told there are a thousand ways to say ‘Would you be my Valentine Today?’

For you this year I have no fancy pearls, just this song to say that you’re my world…” 

Tell someone you love how you feel about them, and remember, Valentine candy goes on sale February 15^th.

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  -  Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2017 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED