Monday, October 31, 2016

The OppenheimerReport 10/31/16

Halloween used to be a big deal for me. When I was in college, not “in university” as the Canadians say, we used Halloween as an excuse to recruit new members to my fraternity. Actually, it was really a “fratsority” as we were the only fully co-ed chapter of Delta Kappa Epsilon nationwide. We almost lost our charter because of this. We had a pumpkin carving party for new recruits and it was usually quite successful. Every year, we threw the best Halloween party on campus, and we always had a kickass live band. Almost every year, from the time I was a little boy until I was in my mid-thirties, I dressed up as something for Halloween.
In my “adult” years, that costume was, by necessity, beer friendly, and one of my favorite masks was a disgustingly orange latex pig mask. I got a lot of mileage out of that mask, which was ingeniously designed so as not to impair one’s ability to guzzle beer.

One magical Halloween weekend back in the eighties, a friend of mine threw a bus party. He rented a school bus and a driver, and he invited thirty or forty guests (including me) to join him, in costume, as we travelled around to various bars in Buffalo. This bus party was, hands down, the best Halloween party I have ever attended. We essentially transformed each bar we invaded into a wild Halloween party, and as the night wore on, it got funnier and funnier. There was a famous TV star among the party goers, but no one outside of the party knew who he was, because he was in disguised in full clown make-up. Of course there was a pre-lubrication party to get us all loosened up, and there was heavy drinking on the bus as well. By the time we’d hit the first couple of bars we were all fairly inebriated, and we were clearly a force to be reckoned with. I was dressed as a “Sabre-ette”, one of the short-lived Buffalo Sabres cheerleaders. I wore blue spandex tights, a vintage Buffalo Sabres tee shirt stuffed with balloons, and a giant blonde wig. I spent a long time putting on my make-up, which was rather a waste of time because, after a few drinks, I looked like a train wreck. One of the things I’ve noticed about Halloween costumes is that, when combined with alcohol, they make the wearer exponentially more impervious to shame. The last four or five bars we attended were a complete blur, and by the end of the evening, I looked more like a zombie than a cheerleader. By then, I was flat-chested, my make-up was smeared all over my face, my wig was on backward, and I was covered in mud and snow. It was the perfect Halloween transformation and, I think, a successful outing.

I threw and attended some good Halloween parties back in the eighties. I made a tuna fish costume one year; I was Abe Lincoln after he as shot, I was a dead lawyer, Toto from The Wizard Of Oz,and once, I was a very ugly go-go dancer. I even made custom go-go boots. Note to self, panty hose are terribly uncomfortable for men. As much as I have always enjoyed Halloween, there is the dark side to the celebration. Sometimes the trick part of the trick or treat borders on destructive. There have been recent reports on the news about homicidal clowns, and sometimes the lines of acceptable/mischievous behavior get blurred. The other day, my friend Grant Nickalls recounted a story on air about his early teen years wherein he did something on Halloween of which he was later ashamed. I remember reports of apples handed out with razor blades, and tainted candy, and once, about three doors from our house in Buffalo, I and several of my friends were mugged and robbed of our candy by a gang of thugs. Our house was egged, and more than once we had our windows marked with candle wax (much harder to remove than soap). Halloween has a dangerous side to it and some people revel in the more nefarious aspects.
   
I was talking with fellow songwriter Sean Cotton last week at the Burk’s Falls 3rd Friday Coffee House, and he told me he is producing a musical in November, featuring local musicians. Entitled The Cat’s Cradle and using the songs of 70s songwriters like Harry Chapin, Jim Croce, Cat Stevens, and Carol King, Sean has written a story line around the songs to be performed by local artists. Sounds interesting. As Sean requested, I will feature some of these songwriters on my show Lyrical Workers this Thursday night.



   - Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2016 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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