I listened to an interesting piece on the radio the other day about a
study suggesting that new technology is rewiring the minds of children. Apparently,
kids are becoming so used to instant gratification, and instant information,
that their attention spans are suffering. It is possible that the whole process
of learning is changing. Not a good thing, the study implies. For a long time I
have suspected this to be true, and I see evidence of this everywhere from
customer service departments to the ways in which young kids interact with each
other. Take away the cell phone, and the computer, and the television, and you
might as well be locking your child up in a Turkish prison cell. Do you ever
wonder what happens to a kid’s brain when he or she plays a violent video game
for hours every day? When one is rewarded for eviscerating one’s foe with a
chainsaw, or exploding someone’s head with a ray gun, doesn’t that have an
effect on one’s perception of reality? I think it must.
In the news last week, the mayoral race is beginning to heat up in
Toronto. Likely because Mayor Rob Ford has made such a circus out of Toronto
City Hall, prospective candidates are eagerly throwing their hats in the ring to
dethrone him. It most certainly won’t be pretty, and Ford has vowed he will
battle to keep his job. The I’m-Not-The-Crack-Smoking-Drunken-Bum-Who-Urinates-In-Public-Places-And-Calls-The-Police-Chief-A-F-ing-C-cksucker-I’m-The-Other-Guy” ticket will only get you so
far, and Ford opponents should expect a nasty, dirty campaign, full of
mudslinging and baseless innuendo … you know, like any election in the United
States. The problem with running a squeaky clean campaign is that eventually,
most politicians are revealed to have some skeletons in the closet, and the
glaring light of hypocrisy is particularly bright when shone upon the self-righteous.
I can’t wait for this race to get going; it will be just like the last Republican
primaries in the U.S.! My early prediction is that Conservative John Tory, who
lost to Ford in the last mayoral election, will give the bellicose mayor a run
for his money this time around. Tory is a smart, capable guy, with a good track
record. As for his behavior, Tory seems like a class act, and certainly presents
himself well when compared to those bullying, championship wrestler wannabes
that are Doug and Rob Ford. I can’t wait
to see what mud the “Ford Nation” will try to sling at this seemingly eligible
candidate. If Tory has any weaknesses, best to reveal them early and take the
wind out of the sails of those tag team goofballs. I can’t wait to see what Jimmy
Kimmel does in his upcoming interview with Ford tonight. I’ve got a haunting
suspicion that Ford might figure out a way to use his infamy to his own
advantage. Remember, spin wins. We all know how stupid and impressionable voters
can be, myself included. People sometimes vote for the devil they know. “Hey, I’m
no choirboy, but…”
Speaking of Sponge-Rob Tent-Pants, one of the above photographs was
lifted from the Times Picayune in New Orleans, and it is a picture of one of
the floats in a recent New Orleans event known as The Krewe D’Etat Parade. Clearly
this float is taking a swipe at our illustrious mayor, and perhaps at other
elements of Canada as well, but isn’t it wonderful! I think the photo speaks
for itself, but all the floats in this parade were creative and bitingly
satirical. Google 2014 NOLA.com/ The Times Picayune to see the other floats in
that parade. By comparison, the second photo featured above was taken last
Saturday at the world famous Katrine Karnival Parade, which conveniently takes
place less than two miles from our house. Our budget up here is a little
smaller, but we do the best we can. As is usually the case, there were more
people in the parade than watching it.
This year I participated in the bed race competition, and our team won our
first heat before a devastating crash took us out of the running in the second
heat. I feel there was illegal contact with the other bed racing team, but the
replays were inconclusive. We live and breathe excitement up here in the Great
White North and our parades rival anything them Frenchies in Louisiana got to
offer ... and that polar kotex don’t bother us!
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
2 comments:
Jamie,
Excellent writing. Very entertaining. Keep it up.
I don't believe that John Tory ever ran against Rob Ford before. I think he only lost to David Miller 8 years ago.
Howard.
Howard - I defer to your knowledge of local politics. I thought he'd thrown his hat in the ring the last time around too. As always,I appreciate the comments, and thanks for reading!
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