The Oppenheimer Report 1/20/14

Last Saturday, I headed down to Toronto to meet my buddy Bob from Buffalo and to attend the annual Toronto International Boat Show. We’ve been going to these Toronto boat shows for a long time, starting back when I still lived in Buffalo, and  these shows are gradually becoming less and less interesting to me. Perhaps it is simply that there only so many pontoon boats, bass boats, sailboats and “personal watercraft” one can look at in a day before one gets bored. Both of us are becoming too impatient to stand in line for 20 minutes in order to board and inspect one of the trawlers, cabin cruisers, or the bigger sailboats. Perhaps it is that the two of us own great boats already and are not really interested in purchasing something new. If I were to replace my rig it would cost me about five times what I have into my present boat, and this is a strong disincentive. Bob’s boat, pictured above in last year’s WNY Poker run, is quite old (1972 I believe), and I suppose Bob would be happy to replace it with something like a 30’ Cigarette, when he finally cracks his Magnum in half on a rogue wave, but something like that would cost the equivalent of most family’s retirement savings. Besides, mooring a craft like that alone on choppy lake like Lake Erie can be a bit tricky. And we’re not getting any younger. During past shows Bob and I would have a couple of beers at the beer garden, listen to some poor bastard play Neil Young covers on a cheap PA system (great gig by the way), following which I would amuse myself by listening to Bob interrogate some ill-informed boat salesman about the defective nature of his product. Bob would ask a rhetorical question, such as: “How come the gel coat’s so wavy on the hull?” and then move in for the kill when the salesman started to back pedal from some ignorant misrepresentation. But presently, both Bob and I are on the wagon - it’s much easier to do this when your drinking buddy quits as well – and somehow the sport of salesman stalking isn’t quite as much fun without a buzz on. So we may need to find another annual event to entertain us. Mardi Gras isn’t going to be a lot of fun sober, so perhaps we’ll need to up the ante on boat shows. I’d like to attend the Miami show some day, because down there we’d see a lot more of the offshore boats that we want to see. Pipe dreams keep me going.        

There was a segment on the 11 O’Clock News last night entitled “Trouble on the Tracks” about some of the recent train derailments in Canada. After Lac-Megantic derailment in Quebec last July, which  killed dozens of people and burned down half the town, and which was reportedly the deadliest rail disaster in Canada since 1864, there was much discussion about the volatility of certain kinds of crude oil, and about the dubious safety of certain kinds of tanker cars used to transport this oil. I remember that disaster quite clearly because it happened the day my father-in-law had the massive stroke which ultimately took his life. That was one serious explosion and there were reports that the heat from its fireball could be felt 2 kilometers away from the blast. I read more about the disaster after seeing the TV segment and learned, among other things, that oil from the ruptured tanker cars poured into the storm sewer system and then exploded, wreaking havoc in the center of town.  Then there was a more recent tanker derailment in New Brunswick, and I believe one in the Midwestern United States as well, causing some to question whether oil should be transported by rail in close proximity to any populated area. Admittedly, I do not know much about the safety procedures in place for transporting oil, but this Keystone Pipeline that the Harper government is so avidly promoting seems to have the potential to cause some major damage. Neil Young, the king of protest songs, is not making any friends in the Province of Alberta right now. He is presently raising money on an abbreviated concert tour to protest the oil sands and a proposed pipeline development in the Northern part of that province. Disregarding, as we always seem to do, the environmental ramifications of pipelines, of fracking, and of transporting volatile materials like Bakken crude, not to mention the increased vulnerability to terrorist attacks, we always seem to go for the cheapest energy solution, don’t we? Really what incentive is there for oil companies to change direction, when there is still a plentiful supply of and demand for black gold? No sir, the caboose has left the station, everybody don their asbestos drag racing suits, and don’t forget the weenies and marshmallows.

Final note … just when the NHL and other pro sports organizations are starting to take a closer look at the fallout from sports violence, did anyone see the story about hot-headed John Tortorella, coach of the Vancouver Canucks? Tortorella faces a fine and possible suspension for losing his temper after a game with the Calgary Flames over a match-up of “enforcers”. I’m no fan of goon hockey, and I hate when stupid injuries are the deciding factor in who wins the game. Once again, I think the lust for blood is still there among the fans, but I wonder how the bloodthirsty fans will feel when they lose a money player like Sidney Crosby or Steve Stamkos, sidelined for good because of some goon was just following orders. As for Tortorella, anger management classes may be in his future. Leafs are not out of it yet.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED