The Oppenheimer Report 1-28-13

This morning I woke up to commotion as the shift change was taking place for our healthcare workers. Yes, we are still here at the Taylors house, still sleeping on twin beds in Shauna‘s rather small (especially with all our junk in it) childhood bedroom, still working on getting the proper team of people together to make sure the Taylors are as safe as possible. We started out a new caregiver last night for the evening shift, and as if to test her abilities, Dr. Taylor immediately came down with a puzzling fever. That fever was a little higher this morning, and while not an alarming temperature for a healthy adult, it was more worrisome for a senior. We seem to be making headway convincing Shauna’s parents that they do in fact need the help we have put in place; that need has become fairly obvious. Luckily his fever abated and Dr. Taylor is back to his usual irascible, codgerly self (ever notice that codger and badger sound a little alike?), but it’s been a bit of a kick in the pants these past few weeks.

With reference to last week’s report discussing my not-to-sincere interest in pontoon boats, I Googled “high speed pontoon boat races” and came up with more videos on YouTube than I could possibly watch in a day. Ya gotta love YouTube! Indeed there are pontoon boats that have reached over 100MPH, and in one video I was able to experience the ride, from the passenger’s seat of one of these overpowered floating tubs, boasting a 600 Horsepower engine. Six hundred horses powering a 25’ pontoon boat! Believe me, that was one fast trip around the lake. I couldn’t tell for sure, but it may have been propelled by high performance surface piercing drives. Apparently pontoon boat design has advanced to the point where some of these tubs handle pretty well, and I was amused and surprised by how many people with too much time on their hands are doing exactly what I joked about doing.

What’s new in lifestyles of the rich and ridiculous? I once penned a soap opera spoof I called The Bold and the Bulemic, but I digress. It stands to reason that, in a shortened season, it wouldn’t take as long for the Toronto Maple Leafs to begin their nosedive down the toilet, and they have proved consistent. After an encouraging win against Crosby’s Penguins earlier last week, the “old” Leafs returned last Saturday night. Sitting on a 2 goal lead until the third period, they choked defensively, left their goalie out to dry, and allowed New York to score five unanswered goals. Thank you sir, may I have another. One of the Leafs’ star forwards had been badly injured in the Pittsburgh game, and their other overpaid big gun has yet to score his first goal. Same sh-t, different season. So glad they’ve all settled their money disputes … now what was it again we were paying you millions of dollars to do? Once again, bi-weekly performance reviews sound like a good idea. Ontario’s first (openly) gay Liberal Kathleen Wynne is the new Premiere of Ontario, at least until the next election is called. Former Italian PM Sylvio “Hound Dog” Berlusconi is in hot water (again) for his remarks praising Mussolini. Hey Silvie, remember the part about how he was a fascist and an anti-Semite? Who does that man's public relations?

Last night I watched Tony Robbins interviewed on Piers Morgan, and I used to make fun of the guy. In fact I am skeptical of most celebrity self help gurus, but I have changed my opinion about Tony Robbins. The guy makes a lot of sense. The basic theme of the interview was what can we do to heal America. The show featured various Robbins “clients” who had overcome great adversity in their lives. There was a teenaged kid who had been shot, I think at Columbine, a shell shocked marine who looked like the personification of trauma …. they talked about what they had learned from Robbins to help them turn their lives around. The common thread was that all of them found a way to get past their pain and self-pity in favor of some inexplicable drive to survive, and they did this by finding something bigger than their problems on which to focus. In most cases this involved helping others. Robbins pointed out that of all the things he could hope to have, money, fame, power, “happiness” … the one thing he aspires to achieve is meaning. I hear you brother! Me too! One does not find meaning by focusing on oneself. I watch so much television and read too many infotainment newspapers, and a lot of the “important” people covered are not role models. Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, Lindsay Lohan, Berlusconi, the Kardashians; some over-hyped singer on American Idol - these are not role models, and very few of them are heroes. For the most part they seem to be dysfunctional often egotistical human beings (just like you and me) held under a microscope. Perhaps true heroes are not all that interesting, because selflessness is not something people broadcast. Anyhow, that’s my rant and I’m sticking to it. A little meaning to my life is all I want.

Meaning .... and maybe a pontoon boat, with a jet engine, that goes 135 mph.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED