We are still scrambling to arrange caregivers for Shauna’s increasingly needy parents. After Syd’s most recent stroke a few weeks ago, things went south very fast. Last week there were assessments by health care workers, interviews with caregivers, and hours of phone calls to arrange for the various senior services they will need. All the while there is the ongoing debate, the arguments, and the stubborn resistance we face about what they do and do not need to be safe in their home. Since the most recent stroke, Shauna’s dad has become exponentially more in need of round the clock care, and this has been traumatic for both parents. Shauna’s mom was overwhelmed -the same thing that happened to my mom - and she still has not fully accepted the reality of her situation. Few of them do. Once again I somewhat helplessly watch this transitional phase unfold, wherein strangers take over, privacy and dignity are compromised, and denial manifests itself in anger towards the “messenger.” For any of you who are in the throes of this phase, or have recently experienced it, you know that it is fraught with guilt and frustration for the children. There is ambivalence prompting a host of complicated emotions associated with taking the reins. Are we doing the wrong thing? Can we trust this or that person? Are we over-reacting, should we back off? The answer is almost always NO! Of course the kids are going to take the heat when we start making life changing decisions for our parents. In our case, it has become glaringly apparent that assistance is needed. These days Shauna and I are constantly exhausted, and even the dog is picking up on the tension. I have been spending a lot of time in holiday traffic, procuring the necessary tools for geriatric care in the house. By the way, for anyone who might not know this, one of the first purchases should be a baby video monitor, invaluable as an extra set of eyes. They come with portable, rechargeable video monitors that can be carried with you. We used one for my mom and dad, and in the five years since we bought that first one, the technology has improved considerably. For under $200.00 I just bought a Levana (model LV-TW502), with night vision, a color monitor, and which can be expanded to accept up to four cameras. Just this once, I am not going to bitch about advances in technology.
Thankfully, the latest deadline for the end of the world came and passed and mankind has not been wiped off the face of the earth as predicted. Give us a few more years. I’m not a betting man but I’d say we’ve got at least a few more decades before we 86 ourselves as a species. A notable obituary I failed to mention last week: Ravi Shankar passed away. I’d never even heard of a sitar before Ravi turned me on to its exotic sound back in the 60s. Stand back United Way, there’s a new charity in town: Toys for Tatas. I saw on the news the other day that The Platinum Cabaret, an exotic dancing establishment, offers a two for one lap dances if you bring in a toy for the kids. Now that’s getting into the holiday spirit.
According to what I’m hearing, this year it is politically correct to say “Merry Christmas!”, so Merry Christmas to all twelve of my readers. And be nice to Grandma and Grandpa; growing old is not for sissies.
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2012 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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