Kent Couch from Oregon is planning on an aerial flight to Iraq in a lawn chair attached to helium-filled party balloons. So far his longest flight was from Oregon to Idaho, about 200 miles. This Iraqi trip, in which he’ll pair up with an Iraqi daredevil, is about 400 miles, and will require higher altitudes as well as oxygen masks. Let’s ignore the fact that any moron with a rifle could probably clip his wings … Iraq? If my geography is correct, isn’t that right next to Iran? Didn’t we just rescue (read pay money to Iran to release) some Americans who bumbled across the Iraq/Iran border? I found it interesting that the story indicated that Couch’s wife was all for the stunt. Trouble in paradise? Is there a life insurance policy? May Allah go with you.
In American politics, Herman Cain, The Great Black Hope, is starting to get the predictable bad press as his political enemies start to perceive him as a credible threat for the Republican nod. Allegations of sexual harassment are starting to surface (3 so far), and may scuttle him before he can gain real momentum. Anybody remember Gary Hart? I remember he had a yacht called "Monkey Business." It might be a witch hunt, but with the right spin doctors, it could be fatal to Cain’s bid. Some pundit suggested that the bad news was leaked by Democrats, because Democrats hate black conservatives. There was much discussion about the similarities to the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas scandal back when Thomas was being vetted for Supreme Court Justice. I wrote a very lame rap parody about that scandal called It’s Not the Meat It’s the Motion Denied which, thankfully, no one has ever heard. I’m confused about what kind of a leader we need to guide us out of this mess we‘re in. Recent history does not suggest that Washington outsiders get the job done. Obama has certainly hit a wall, and we all remember what a crappy president Jimmy Carter made. The Perots, and the Trumps, and the Cains all sound like good leaders when they’re campaigning, but none of them can handle the Washington cluster f-ck when the going gets tough. I think we need someone dirty (again). Remember that infamous campaign slogan from the 70s? “Don’t change Dicks in the middle of a screw, vote for Nixon in ‘72.”
More problems at that Fukishima nuclear power plant in Japan, where there is new evidence that nuclear fission is still taking place in the crippled plant. I always figured it would be human error or a terrorist attack that precipitated a major nuclear power plant disaster, but once again, Mother Nature beat us to the punch. The Greek debt crisis continues to threaten other European economies, as well as North American markets, and this week’s government shenanigans didn’t help matters any. Andy Rooney, curmudgeon/writer who was one of the last living pioneers of television, died last week at 92. Pretty good timing on his part; didn’t he just quit 60 Minutes a few weeks ago? Further to my discussion about “ethical oil” in last week’s report, I just read that there are there 24 billion untapped barrels of oil under N. Dakota and Montana. Holy Beverly Hillbillies Batman! Who needs Libya; that’s enough oil to keep Los Angeles going for months. With the big oil rush bonanza, I can just see those marketing guys spinning their slogans: Come to North Dakota, it’s not just a miserable, frozen tundra populated by simpletons wearing trooper hats anymore (I get all my cultural information from the Coen brothers). Wow, I really could have had a V-8.
The November winds are blowing hard as I write this report. Glad the dock is up and the boat is safe on dry land. Based on the La Nina surprises that have already occurred elsewhere in North America, I’m bracing for the deep freeze sometime soon. Regards from the Great White North!
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2011 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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