I met a lady the other day in the medical center as I was waiting to use the machine to pay my parking fee. She was having a problem, because the machine would only accept credit cards or cash. She only had a debit card, and the adjacent ATM machine was out of order. I suppose I could have just let her find another source of cash, which likely would have meant taking a long walk in the rain, but I paid her parking fee. It was my random act of kindness for the day. It made me feel just a little better about myself, and I helped someone in a bind. For all the people who have helped me over the year, I paid it forward.
If the growing
list of mental health hotline ads posted online is any indication, there are a
lot of people out there who are struggling emotionally right now. I know I’m
one of the luckiest people in the world, and I’m having a hard time dealing
with all of this. Several of my musician friends have really melted down over
the past few months, and I cannot imagine how frightening the future looks to
them. In many cases they were barely making ends meet before the pandemic, thanks
in part to the downward spiral of the music business. Now, they can’t even gig
on a regular basis. As Toronto and other
major cities face another spike in COVID 19 cases, there will inevitably be another
series of mandatory shutdowns, which will likely be the death blow for a lot of
restaurants, gyms, and small businesses. So many people are on their last nerve.
Exacerbating all this uncertainty is the unsettling suspicion that bad behavior
and lack of leadership are on the rise. Twitter, Facebook and other social
media platforms fuel the flames and it takes nothing to ignite an
ill-considered comment into a full-blown street fight. To quote an expression I
think I first heard on Firesign Theater in the 70s, it might be time to stick
my head between my legs and kiss my ass goodbye. Then again, I haven’t given up
yet.
Yvonne Heath, one
of our local volunteers at Hunters Bay Radio, a lecturer, a writer, and a former
chemotherapy nurse, hosted a show on Hunters Bay Radio called “Just Show Up”. On
it she interviewed people facing adversity with courage and dignity. She also
wrote a very interesting book demystifying death and dying, offering helpful advice about how to undo the
stigma involved with discussing it. Just show Up is her catch phrase for
helping someone out just by being there. Everywhere in this community I see
courageous people coping the best they can with terrible news. Whether it’s the
widow running the family marina business after her husband died following an
unexpected diagnosis of ALS, or the friend recently diagnosed with an advanced
case of a rare and difficult to treat prostate cancer, or another friend who lost his house and all his possessions
in a fire. The stories are all around us, and most of those people are coping
the best they can, and sometimes what they need most is simply someone to listen
and empathize. Most everyone in the world is struggling right now.
In less than a
month America will elect a new president. Within the next year, there will
likely be a vaccine to treat COVID 19. I think most people expect the world
will go back to “normal” after these two problems are addressed. I’m not so
sure. The problem is far deeper than Rump or COVID 19. It doesn’t take much to
make a difference; sometimes it’s a simple as paying a stranger’s parking fee
when they can’t. It made me feel good, for a moment anyway. I want to believe that
person will now have just a little bit more faith in mankind because of my
gesture. Maybe not, but I need a little hope injected into my life, some small
reminder that kindness is not dead. I can’t fix this mess we’re in, all I can
do is work to improve me. To quote Blanche Dubois: “I have always depended on
the kindness of strangers.”
- Written by Jamie
Oppenheimer ©2020 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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