Rattling around in the house as we have been for the past two
weeks or so, ET, Shauna, and I have been ever mindful of the need to keep ourselves
busy and active (and out of each other’s way). Certainly, one can fall prey to ennui,
and to the preponderance of bad news out there. I have been encouraged by my
communications with friends and neighbors who are making the best of a bad
situation. Because I love to write, a solitary occupation by its nature, I have
little problem spending time alone. In order to look the part, I have been growing
my Corona Virus beard. I suppose it’s my version of a playoff beard. Normally
cropped short, my beard is getting a bit scraggly, and I’m beginning to look
like a hillbilly. Perhaps I should join a bluegrass band. Some of my bearded friends,
guys like Buck Marshall, Sean Cotton, and Troy Sinister, can grow a full beard
in no time. Mine is taking a bit longer. I passed myself in a mirror the other
day and I saw Festus, that character from the old television series “Gunsmoke”,
staring back at me.
I just released two songs I wrote long ago, “Cabin Fever”
and “Strange Holiday”, recorded shortly before the pandemic exploded. Both
songs seem oddly appropriate for the times. Like so many other musicians and
songwriters, I have occasionally posted my live performances, and will likely
air a few new original songs over the coming weeks. Ever the shameless self-promoter,
I figure I might as well present these songs while people are stuck at home and
might be on their computers. In the past two weeks, I have received several submissions
for my LYRICAL WORKERS show, and I’ve heard at least 5 original songs dealing with our current crisis. Neil Diamond performed
a rewrite of “Sweet Caroline” (Hands, washing hands/ Reaching out/Don’t’ touch
me/ I won’t touch you). Artist Chris Mann performed “My Corona”, a very funny parody
of The Knack’s hit single “My Sharona”. It’s funny because Shauna and I planned
to write a parody of that song last week, but Mann beat us to the punch.
Shauna and I joined a private Facebook group of locals who
are posting their usually light-hearted submissions about how they are coping
with self-isolation. I suspect that 24-7 life at home has been somewhat
challenging for more than a few. On the above-mentioned page there are posts of
recipes, photos of wildlife, amusing anecdotes, and yes, some videos as well. Our
friend Len Gray, who lives in nearby Burk’s Falls, recently posted three phone videos
that were hilarious. Together they comprised a tongue-in-cheek video journal, depicting
11 days of Len’s sequester with his family. The video was choppy and made to
resemble something a prisoner of war might say, locked in a windowless cell
awaiting his imminent torture. Len discussed his ill-considered inclination to binge
watch Mad Max movies with his young daughter, with the intention of apprising
her of the coming apocalypse. This choice was wisely vetoed (on camera) by his more
level-headed wife. He talked about his lack of hygiene, and the fact that he’d
been wearing the same sweatpants for well over a week, and that he had not
taken a shower in about as long. In one segment, which gave me the biggest
belly laugh, he discusses “losing it” in a local supermarket, wherein he decided
that it was his civic duty to warn customers that they were not practicing proper
physical distancing. He went on to say that he was summarily banned from said supermarket.
Of course, this was all in fun, but while Len was being hyperbolic and funny, he
touched on the stress most of us are feeling these days.
I hope you’re all
coping with your isolation with at least a modicum of humour. I’m going to go
look at myself in the mirror again (for the 40th time today) to see
if my beard has grown since I began writing this. Until next week I remain your
finger on the pulse of humanity. Stay safe, self-isolate!
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer ©2020
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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