Monday, May 28, 2018

The Oppenheimer Report 5/28/18


The other night, I watched a news story about some thirty something who sued his parents because they wanted to kick him out of the house. They presented him with an eviction notice, even offered him some money to move out, and said they want him out ASAP. His reaction was to take them to court. It astounds me that someone can be so out of touch with reality that he or she thinks this is ok. We hear a lot about bad parents, and there are certainly a few of those out there, but what about the bad kids? Sometimes parents do the best they can, but the kids don’t do their part. The judge in this case laughed this failure-to-launch deadbeat out of the court room, but I wonder if this might be a sign of the times. This is one of the disturbing trends I see today, especially true in N. America. Along with the omnipresence of gratuitous violence in video games and film, and the resultant general disrespect for life, the tendency to poison our food and water supply, and our growing, technology-induced alienation from our fellow man, I see the omnipresence of this failure-to-launch syndrome. If you are over thirty years old, living at home, and your parents want you out, it might be time to do a reality check. A close friend of ours recently began dating a widower with two adult children. Both kids are still living at home, and one of them has a young child. Neither of these kids contributes to the household income, or do they do anything to contribute to the household chores. The widower is still doing all the cooking for everyone, after coming home from a full day of work. Maybe he is enabling the dysfunction, but what is wrong with this picture? I understand that it may be harder today to make a living or to find affordable housing than it was thirty years ago. I also don’t think there is anything wrong with adult children living at home, with the blessing of their parents. I had help from my parents when I graduated from university, and I lived at home for four or five years before moving out. I saved up enough money to put up a down payment on a house, and was grateful for the support my parents willingly provided. But what about the young adults who live a carefree life at the expense of their parents; is this OK? I used to wonder how I would be judged by the generation that grew up during WWII, when men and women were forced to grow up at 18.

I saw a funny video spoof the other day wherein a young female “Millennial” was in a job interview, and her works skills essentially boiled down to Facebook and Instagram. By the end of the interview, the exasperated interviewer told her that he didn’t think she was going to work out, and she threw a hissy fit. “Are you FIRING me?!! I don’t feel safe!” I know a lot of extremely capable young people who are successfully coping with the business of life. Still, I worry about many of today's young adults, numbed by video game violence, baby sat by a TV set, given a gold star for accomplishing next to nothing, and trained to rely on technology to turn on a light. Heaven forbid there should be a power outage.

Someone came up to me at the Craft Beer Festival a few weeks ago and asked me “Why aren’t you up there performing?” I was of course flattered, but I try to keep my live performances to a minimum. Sometimes writers are better off remaining in the background. Leo Kottke said in the album notes for his first album that his voice was like “geese farts on a muggy day”, and Leo has a much better voice than I do. Last Saturday night I had the good fortune to see Winnipeg singer / songwriter and excellent slide guitarist Joey Landreth perform at Peters Players in Gravenhurst. To see a talent like Joey in a boutique venue, which seats about 80-100 people, was as good as it gets for me. My dream and goal has always been to have my songs covered by talented artists like Landreth. So far, I’ve come a long way towards achieving that dream. My gifted songwriter friend from Edmonton, Bobby Cameron, recorded a song he and I co-wrote, along with my talented wife Shauna. As well, several local artists, including Juan Barbosa and Paul Lagendyk, have done amazing covers of several of my songs.

Sometimes it takes a lifetime to achieve one’s goals. Oftentimes, it never happens. In the beginning I thought I'd like to be in the spotlight, but mostly, for the past 40 years, I’ve only really wanted to be a recognized songwriter. Thanks to Hunters Bay Radio and a music-friendly community full of artists, I’ve had a little success (don’t book the limo just yet). In turn, this has encouraged me to keep writing and to support like-minded artists. This is my dream come true, but it certainly was not my day job. There were a lot of bends in the road, but I always saw recognition for my writing as my brass ring. I think about the kids coming into the work force now, and the possibility that they face a less hopeful future than I did. I wonder, what are their dreams and goals? I can’t imagine a world wherein I thought it was alright to sue my parents because, after having put up with my nonsense for 30+ years, they wanted me to stand on my own two feet.  That my friends, is chutzpah.

    - Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2018 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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