The Oppenheimer Report 6/19/17

My grandfather Harry Lehman and me, shortly before he passed on

Yesterday was Father’s Day, and I offer a belated Happy Father’s Day to all who deserve it. As I’ve said many times in this blog, I am not a father, but have ever-increasing respect for all the good parents out there. I had a conversation with my cousin from Oregon, Harry Lehman III, or “The Third” as he signs his correspondences, and we talked a bit about our respective fathers. His dad, my mother’s brother, was a wild man when he was a boy, and Uncle Harry got into all sorts of trouble. If I recall correctly, he once stole the family limo for a joyride when he was far too young to drive. Harry III was amused by my story about stealing a box of crayons when I was little. He told me a similar story involving him and his dad. When he was young, he stole some candy bars from a store while shopping with his dad, and when his dad asked where he got the candy bars, he lied and said the store owner had given them to him. Harry Jr. said something like “What a generous thing that man did; we should go in and thank him.” Busted, and lesson learned. The unruly boy had grown into a pretty good father.

Both my mother and her brother had an excellent role model in Harry Lehman Sr., founder and CEO of The Wildroot Company, the successful hair tonic business in Buffalo. By most accounts, Harry Sr. was a very successful, kind, generous, funny, philanthropist who had an “open door” policy for his all employees. Harry Jr. may have been a handful, but he grew into a kind and generous man as well, who was loved by everyone who knew him.

I never knew my paternal grandfather; he died before I was born. Diminutive in stature, fastidious in both personal appearance and habits, and far more introverted than my maternal grandfather, Walter was quite a different man than Harry. The family history on my dad’s side is a little murky. Dad did tell me that Walter Oppenheimer was a strict man. My dad is a bit of a mystery to me, I suppose I didn’t show much interest in his past. He was in his mid-forties when I (his only biological child) was born, and he was not a particularly demonstrative man. Still, he was always there to catch me when I fell, and in retrospect, he was a fantastic dad. Because of our age difference, we locked horns when I was a teenager. I regret giving him such a hard time. In the end, we grew to know and respect each other as colleagues in business, and the greatest lessons he taught me were by example. I wish I’d asked him more questions about his family history. I loved my dad a lot.

It takes a village, right? I look around today at the young people in distress who cross my path, and I want to help them. Some are orphans, some did not have great parents, some are the by-products of bitter divorce, some just lost their way despite having good parents. It is hubris to assume I can change another human being for the better, and I don’t presume to have those skills or answers. I was shown unconditional love, without judgment, and my goal is to pay that valuable lesson forward. The heroes in the world are the good parents, the teachers; the positive role models who touch our lives, not the spoiled celebrities and entitled athletes whose bad behavior attracts an inordinately large amount of public attention. I read that Father’s Day had its origins in the commemoration of a single father who successfully and selflessly raised his five children. Perhaps we’d do well to focus on these good people and leave the spoiled and unworthy to the annals of historical anonymity.     

Thursday night, pending no healthcare crises, I’ll be singing a song by The Band at the Hunters Bay Radio Last Waltz fundraiser concert, at the Algonquin Theatre in Huntsville, along with 24 or more of my fellow local musicians. To Shauna’s mom, the resilient, remarkable, and ever-entertaining E.T., I wish you a speedy recovery from your recent health issues. To the rest of my readers, if your parents are still around, give em a hug for me. It's a tough and often thankless job,  and I suspect most of them are doing the best they can.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2017 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED