The Oppenheimer Report 1/4/15

A belated Happy New Year to one and all. Did you whoop it up, did you put the lamp shade on, did you get conflobulated and thereafter drive the porcelain bus? I did not. My bus driving days are over. In fact, many of the people I spoke to on the day of New Year’s Eve planned to spend a quiet evening at home. Some were not even planning to stay up until midnight. I have always stayed up to see the ball drop. Our New Year’s Eve celebration consisted of a good dinner at home followed by several hours of Anderson Cooper giggling with the sometimes annoying, often entertaining Kathy Griffin. When did news anchors begin to giggle like schoolchildren? I never heard Walter Cronkite giggle. I thought there was some rule about drinking booze on air, but several of the CNN correspondents, including Don Lemon (who after a few belts complimented Kathy Griffin on her “nice rack”) were definitely into their cups. I was disappointed that, for the first time in several years, CNN did not feature Sushi the transvestite dropping in a giant high heeled shoe from the second story of a building on Key West. I Googled stuff that is dropped on New Year’s Eve and the strangest thing I found was the possum drop in Georgia. Shauna’s mom is up visiting us from Toronto for the first time since she fell and broke her neck in May, and the best celebration we could have hoped to have is her presence to usher in the New Year. Next Thursday will mark her 91^st birthday, and she is doing well. She wanted to finally meet James Carroll at Hunters Bay Radio, who has so generously mentioned her on many of his Sunday Martini Music shows. Last week, we drove her into Huntsville and she finally met him at the radio station. That was big for both of them.

I mentioned last week that the generator did not kick in when we had a power outage on Christmas Eve. Luckily, the electrician showed up last Tuesday to have a look, and it turns out it was something simple; a spark plug wire had come loose. The generator was due for its annual service and oil change anyhow, and now we should be good to go for another season. I used to be a little handier than I am now, and with a manual can do routine maintenance on engines. Certainly I can re-attach a spark plug wire, but what I have found, after replacing a starter motor or two, rebuilding (with assistance) the motor of my 1967 Triumph Spitfire, etc., is that these are tasks better left to a professional.  I did feel a little stupid knowing that, had I simply been able to examine the generator motor, I could likely have seen and fixed the problem. I couldn’t even figure out how to take the cover off!  I will know for the next time this happens.

I am writing this report on Sunday evening, and my New Year begins with a colonoscopy. Whoopie! Tomorrow at noon I go in for the scope, and while the procedure itself is not all that uncomfortable (because I will be sedated), the night before is no picnic. As I write this I have been fasting since midnight last night, recently downed the citus-flavored draino and am awaiting the moment(s) of truth. As if one dose is not enough, I am to awaken at 5AM to take a second dose. Should be a lovely evening, but it will all be worth it if I get a clean bill of health. My dad had colon cancer and it was early detection that saved his life.    

 

Finally, I’m always interested to hear the year in review new stories that precede the ball drop in Times Square, and 2015 certainly appears to have been a violent one. Donald Trump is doing his best to stir up Islamophobia, which I understand is giving ISIS recruiters a leg up, but on top of terror attacks around the world, there were around 57 gun-related mass murders(3 or more victims) in the U.S. We worry so much about what we do not understand, but are statistically more likely to be murdered by one of our own countrymen.  

RIP to Lemmy Kilmister, singer and bassist for Motörhead, dead at 70. He apparently collected Nazi memorabilia which led some in the media to deem him a Nazi sympathizer, but he denied this. I loved his explanation: the bad guys always have the best uniforms.  Harlem Globetrotters showman Meadowlark Lemon has also passed on at 83. While never a basketball fan, I used to love watching him clown around on the court. I wish you all a peaceful, harmonious 2016!

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2016 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED