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| The best part about the holidays |
A few weeks ago, Shauna’s mom Ethel bit the bullet and bought herself a
tablet computer with her air miles points. We honestly did not think she would
embrace the internet, especially using a tablet and touch screen technology; up
until now she has shown little interest in “surfing the net.” She is just about
to turn ninety, and she has always said that new technology is a bit
overwhelming to her. But I remember my dad became internet savvy, well into his
nineties, and he took to it instantly. Intelligence knows no boundaries. He was
for decades his class agent for the Cornell University Alumni News, and an avid
correspondent in general. Adding the internet and email to his tools of
correspondence vastly upped his game. In much the same way, Ethel has thoroughly
embraced this new form of communication, in a very short period of time. The
other day she even figured out how to access her supermarket coupons online.
She sends messages to friends and family,
and recently, she learned how to navigate Facebook. This has been an amusing ride
for Shauna and me. As Ethel discovers the wonders of limitless communication,
so has she discovered the pitfalls of hitting the “Send” button. The other
night, Shauna noticed that Mom Taylor had posted what she thought was a personal
message, but instead of posting to her own timeline had posted to George Takei’s
– you know, the man who played Lt. Sulu, helmsman on the starship Enterprise,
on Star Trek. She is not quite clear
about the security settings available for Facebook. No one is less a Trekkie than
my mother-in-law, but there she was, sending personal messages to Sulu. Somehow
she must have commented to one of his posts by accident, thus sending her
“personal” message out to thousands of strangers. We are still trying to figure
out how George Takei became her “friend” in the first place! Who else has she
friended? Charles Manson? Kim Kardashian? And what is next for my newly enlightened
mother-in-law? X-Box? Weird YouTube videos?
Last week was a good one for bad news. A lone terrorist commandeered a
coffee shop in Sydney, Australia, killing two of his hostages in the standoff,
before he himself was killed. Of course there are many questions about why this
man had not been incarcerated already, given his rather long history of subversive
behavior. There are so many ticking bombs, how can we diffuse them all? Another
story that outraged me concerned the Taliban slaughtering about 100
schoolchildren and teachers in Pakistan. Talk about Charles Manson.These demented
religious fundamentalist have given evil a new face, and their “buy or die”
mentality flies in the face of any
decent religious doctrine. It saddens me
when I get my song ideas from these horrible stories on the news. Someone was
quoted as saying “The smallest coffins weigh the most” and I found that phrase profound.
It is difficult to know how such perversion of everything that is decent and
good can be deemed in any way a service to G-d. Then again, look at The
Crusades, or Christmas for that matter.
America resumes diplomatic relations with Cuba after sixty years, and many
Cuban Americans are up in arms. I do not know how I feel about this. I remember
the Cuban Missile Crisis, and those bombing drills in school … as if hiding
under my desk was going to protect me from a nuclear bomb! I suppose it’s about
time. It’s not as if America does not have relations with other oppressive
regimes. While this restoration of diplomatic relations will inevitably send
the message to the world that Castro won, and maybe he did, the lifting of
embargos will likely benefit the beleaguered Cuban people, which is the silver
lining. Surely it will improve the Cuban economy. Finally the Cubans will have
Big Macs, crappy movies, and access to new American cars. Rejoice Raul, you no
longer need to jury rig the old Desoto.
My favorite talk show hosts are going off the air! I was both a David Letterman
and a Craig Ferguson fan. I just watched Ferguson’s last show, which
surprisingly featured Jay Leno as his final guest. Considering Letterman’s
production company produces Ferguson’s show, that seemed an odd choice, but apparently
Ferguson and Leno are buddies. For Josh Robert Thompson, the guy who was the
voice behind Ferguson’s wisecracking gay robot skeleton, it might be
cancellation bookings in the Poconos. That would be a shame because the guy is
really funny. Final entertainment comment: About
the Sony
hacking scandal – now they think it was that little pimp, Make Me Ill Junior,
in North Korea, and they have scuttled the Christmas release of the new
blockbuster comedy The Interview,
because of terrorist threats. What a wuss move! I could care less about the
release, and am still working on trying to see movies released five years ago,
but has anyone else noticed how often our sensitive databases are being
compromised by cyber terrorism? While I do not know much about the fundamentals
of hacking, it occurs to me that the horse of out of the barn, with both oars
out of the water, and he didn’t look before he leapt. Too many of those anarchist
guys with the “V” masks on, it makes me nervous. Time to invest in diamonds.
The smartest Bush running for president? Jeb will throw his hat in the
ring, maybe. I am sure if he does, the big “elephant money” will all go his
way. I can see the slogan now: “Vote for me, I’m not as big a train wreck as
the other guys!” I can spell and I know how to pronounce N-U-C-L-E-A-R! Hillary
Clinton vs. Jeb Bush, that could be an interesting race. Seriously, who would
really want to lead America right now? Are there any leaders who can fix the
mess we’re in?
Peace and love to all my readers, Merry Festivus, Happy whatever,
with whomever!!
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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