The Oppenheimer Report 8/16/10

Last Saturday I participated in my second annual Western New York Poker Run in Buffalo. The rain held off, the event drew around 58 boats this year, and a good time was had by all (of those whose boats ran) . There was some question as to whether or not the 3-4 foot waves would make the last leg of the run, down to Sunset Bay, a little too uncomfortable for the smaller boats, but the organizers decided to proceed as planned. Once we left the protection of the Buffalo Harbor it was a bit of a bumpy ride, but the trip was more than tolerable. The biggest problem was not the rough seas but the enormous cross chop generated by fifty-eight V-8-driven boats traveling in the same direction. Because it is the shallowest of the Great Lakes, Lake Erie can be challenging for small craft on a windy day. Waves tend to be steep and deep, and sometimes the “slop chop” conditions generated by other boaters make for a rough ride on plane. While traveling off plane is an option on a high freeboard fishing boat like mine, it is not a good way to travel in a deep-V offshore “Cigarette” style of boat. Those boats only perform well on plane. My friend Bob is an accomplished rough water operator and he piloted his twin-engine 27’ Magnum (see photo above) through the tricky chop with relative ease. Although his boat is, by offshore powerboat standards, an antique -- his boat is over 37 years old -- and while there were many larger, newer, more seaworthy boats in the run, we held our own and made it to the final destination before many of the faster boats. It’s not always about how fast your boat can run, but how fast you are capable of piloting it in rough seas. At one point, as we barreled through the chop at about 60MPH, I heard the roar of high performance V-8s coming up on our port side, and turned in time to watch three 35+foot catamaran speedboats pass us as if we were standing still. One of the larger “cats” in the run was capable of speeds approaching 150MPH. For me, this is the best part of the poker run: watching truly high performance offshore boats running fast on open water. I enjoy boat shows, but for me, there is no greater thrill than the spectacle of three or four dozen high performance speedboats barreling through the water at high speed. Add rough water to the equation and the fun doubles. The run (not a race) officially ended when we picked up the final card of our poker hand at the last checkpoint, 30 miles south of Buffalo at Sunset Bay. There we had a beer and a bite to eat, and then, as the clouds rolled in from the West, we headed back to Buffalo. The conditions for the ride back couldn‘t have been better. The southwesterly winds had died down and the combination of the smooth rolling waves and the following sea provided us with more than a few great jumps.


Celebrity fossil Zsa Zsa Gabor (93) is down for the count after complications from hip surgery. I’m guessing her cop-beating days are numbered. Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, accused of trying to sell President Obama’s vacated Senate seat in 2008, is presently waiting to hear the verdict of what has so far been a hung jury. Apparently, his attorney, in his closing statement said something to the effect of “my client is not the sharpest knife in the drawer but he’s no crook”. As Steve Martin quipped in one of his old comedy routines, two simple words, “I forgot” , can extricate one from so many tight situations. Rape, murder, fraud … I simply forgot those things were illegal, sorry. Can’t blame me for being stupid. Radio talk show host Dr. Laura Slessinger used the “N” word 11 times the other day during her call in radio talk show, in response to the comments of a female African-American caller, sparking indignation from the African American community and ultimately prompting her to make a public apology. Her contrition might have saved her job; look what happened to shock jock Don Imus after his ill-considered racist remarks. His verbal diarrhea yanked him off the throne of success faster than you can say “would you like fries with that?” I’ve listened to her show more than a few times when I’m in the car, and in my opinion Dr. Laura is a first class “bee-otch” … but I don’t think she’s a racist. Insensitive perhaps, but apparently that’s her M.O. Controversy sells radio time, and it’s sometimes a fine line when you’re pushing the envelope, trying to be edgy. I think Slessinger was unsuccessfully trying to make the point that certain derogatory words or expressions must be taken in context. Black people use the “N” word with impunity, but people will inevitably get offended when a white person uses it. These days, I hear and see a lot of things that I think cross the line, and I suppose the lesson here is more tolerance, AND more sensitivity. Considering my propensity for foot-in-mouth disease, I hope all of your are snickering to yourselves right now.


Thank goodness for fast boats!



Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED