The Oppenheimer Report 5/3/10

When I hear a song I like, I often look up the lyrics on the internet. These days I’m listening to a lot of music that I hear on the radio, or that someone else has shared with me through an iPod, or some other portable device, and I have no access to the lyrics. As an amateur songwriter, I am always interested in reading the lyrics that other people write. Gone are the days when I bought an analogue record album, and the lyric sheet was included along with the record sleeve. Now, if I buy a CD and the lyrics are included, I need a magnifying glass to read them. There are a number of internet sites one can go to in order to access song lyrics, and they’re all fairly user friendly. I like a website called A-Z Lyrics (http://www.azlyrcis.com). In the past week, I have copied the lyrics to a lot of my favorite Steely Dan songs - those guys write great lyrics - and a number of other miscellaneous songs I wanted to archive. I have them all neatly filed in alphabetical order in a file on my computer entitled “Cover Songs Jamie Likes.” For anybody who has ever seen my desk, it is a wonder that I have ANYTHING filed in such an organized fashion. I am an artist (self-proclaimed, that is), and artists are often disorganized (feeble rationalization). Anyhow, I was on the A-Z website the other day, and I noticed Justin Bieber’s name. Bieber (sounds like beaver) is the latest teen heart throb topping the charts, and according to his bio (O.K. so I don’t have a life), this Stratford, Ontario fifteen year-old pop sensation got his big break when he “went viral” on YouTube in 2007. He’s hit the big time now, and the other night I watched him perform on Saturday Night Live. I enjoyed the performance … sort of Davy “Monkees” Jones meets Eminem. Anyhow, I looked up the lyrics for the first song on his second album. The song is entitled “Baby”, and the lyrics are about as unoriginal as I’d expect the lyrics for a pop song to be (chorus: Baby, baby, baby oooh/Like baby, baby, baby nooo/ Like baby, baby, baby oooh/ I thought you'd always be mine, mine). What struck me as funny was that there are about a half dozen people credited with co-writing the song. Cole Porter must be rolling over in his grave! Accepting that I am not comparing apples to apples here, I can just picture the Bieber songwriting session: “O.K., so what sort of rhymes with ‘whatever’ … ‘together’?” Four hours later they come up with: “For you, I would have done whatever/ And I just can't believe we ain't together…” Like, whatEVER, dude, those lyrics are like off the hook. It’s a freakin’ masterpiece!



The other night we watched a program on Bravo about the effects of music on the brain, and I found it fascinating. They scanned Sting’s brain as they exposed him to different kinds of music, and then analyzed the various parts of his brain that were stimulated. From this they were able to determine what it is about a gifted musician ’s brain that sets it apart. He processed all “good” music in the same way, but when it was boring, uninspiring muzak, he simply ignored it. I wonder how he feels about “Beiber’s “work”. Sting was a little uncomfortable with the findings; he said that for him the creative process is an intangible, mysterious thing. To have it scientifically analyzed is a little like finding out how your favorite magic trick was accomplished. I learned that there are companies out there that can critique your song by plugging it into a computer model, quantifying its potential to be a hit. I’m sorry Mozart, the computer confirms that your piano concerto is a no go.



Final note … I read that Earth Day was conceived in response to an oil spill off the California coast in 1969. Earth Day 2010 has come and gone, and to commemorate man’s propensity for repeating history, there was a big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Apparently, a BP oil rig exploded and sank, and while the first reports from the government were that the accident was not so bad, last Wednesday the revised figures indicate that five times as much oil is daily spilling into the Gulf waters, threatening ecosystems from Louisiana to Florida. While not yet the 11 Million gallons spilled when the Exxon Valdez ran aground in Alaska, back in 1989, this is a significant oil spill, and may end up being even worse than the Valdez spill. Oops. I guess nobody thought about the consequences of being unable to cap a well dug over a kilometer underwater. Wouldn’t you think this would have been something they’d have addressed before drilling the well? Meanwhile, they’re talking about building a 24 square mile wind farm in the Nantucket Sound. Though the proposed windmills would be 5 miles from shore and barely visible, local residents are up in arms. Notable opponents include the late Ted Kennedy. One of the arguments is that wind farms threaten wildlife, but my guess is that it has more to do with views and real estate values. Take your pick … a few unlucky birds, and the odd electrocuted whale, or the entire ecosystem of the Louisiana coast. Tough call. I’m all for wind energy … just not five miles from MY back yard.

Perhaps we should start investigating a new ecology holiday: Alternative Planet Day.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.