The Oppenheimer Report 3/1/10

As I begin writing this week’s report, the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics are winding down, and the last big event, the U.S./ Canada men’s hockey game for the gold medal, is about to begin. Of course, there is a rivalry between me, the American, and Shauna, the Canadian. Just to bug her, I am wearing the only article of clothing I have here which advertises my American roots: my 2009 Western New York Poker Run tee shirt. I’ve enjoyed this winter Olympics, as I have enjoyed all the past ones, and there were a lot of memorable moments, a lot of upsets, and a lot of excitement. I’ll always remember skier Alex Bilodeau hugging his disabled brother after he won Canada’s first gold medal ever in a home-sponsored winter Olympics. As it turned out, Canada set a record for the most gold medals won by one country, I believe in the history of the Olympic Games. By the way, can anybody tell me why each of the medal-winning athletes received what looked like a giant head of spoiled broccoli? Will there be cauliflower at the 2014 Olympics in Russia? I’ll remember watching Canadian figure skater Joannie Rochette skate her short program, shortly after learning that her mom had died suddenly of a heart attack. She went on to win a bronze medal. I think that takes courage! I am a little embarrassed to admit that I got (somewhat) excited about the Norway vs. Canada curling finals (o.k., maybe not so much), and am happy that Canada won gold in that event. Hockey is a little different, especially considering that Buffalo Sabres goalie Ryan Miller is in the U.S. goal. I’ll be happy for either team when they win; I just want to see a good, hard fought game, but I WILL be rooting for the United States.




To stave off the excruciating ennui of winter, last year I attended the Kearney Dogsled Races up here in the tundra. This year, in keeping with my desperate need to find entertainment during this grueling final stretch of winter, I attended the Katrine Winter Karnival. If winter is my enemy, I say embrace it! Stand back Vancouver, because Katrine, Ontario was the place to be last Saturday. I was not early enough to attend the parade; yes, in a town of perhaps sixty people, they had a parade, with floats (o.k., two, maybe three floats) and everything. There were, of course, no spectators; it’s a running gag that everyone who comes to the parade is in it. I DID make it to the community center, a little late for the frozen turkey toss, but in time for the very competitive, much-anticipated, and ever- popular bed races (see photo above)). This Karnival had everything: balloons, weiners, beer (huge plus), a small mound of snow for the kids to slide down, a bonfire (more of a small camp fire), a hammer-the-nail-into-the-log contest, horse drawn hayrides using real draft horses, and of course, the all-day party in the Katrine Community Center. The live entertainment was memorable, though after a beer or two it thankfully became a little less so. I didn’t stay for the $12 roast beef dinner, or for the big dance, although I did make my small contribution to the event. I am, after all, a member of this community now. As I was leaving, I caught a little of the bed racing competition. That alone was worth the price of admission. The only thing missing was the comprehensive CTV coverage.





As I finish this report, “golden boy” Sydney Crosby has just beaten my man Ryan Miller in overtime to win (3-2) the gold medal for the Canadian Men’s hockey team. It was a VERY close game, and the U.S. looked like they might pull it off when they came from behind with seconds left to go in regulation time. Clearly the game could have gone either way, and I admit I’m a little disappointed that the U.S. team didn’t win. They were not really favored to do well this year, and they far exceeded most people’s expectations. Still, Canada winning “Canada’s game” is I suppose a fitting way to end this winter Olympics, so good for you Canada. Right on, eh?!



I think the Town of Katrine should be considered for a future Winter Olympics venue. At the very least, I feel that bed racing should become a certified winter event. I also think they should include some kind of snowmobile competition. For instance, there is an event, ever popular up here in the Great White North, called “Puddle Jumping”. Basically, this involves hydroplaning over open water on a snowmobile at high speeds. Low speed is not an option due to the stubborn laws of gravity. There are a whole slew of crazy things people do up here on snowmobiles, mostly I think alcohol-inspired . If they ever give out medals for “most intoxicated snowmobiler,” I think someone in Katrine or the surrounding area might be a contender. Put those guys on a Wheaties box, why dontcha! Eh?!



Seriously though, way to go Canada. Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2010 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED