It always seemed as if the goofy commercials for Christmas began shortly after the American Thanksgiving, but lately they are starting well before Halloween. Did you ever see the one where Santa rides a Norelco cordless shaver down a snow bank? I like the commercial wherein a giant M&M scares Santa so badly that he faints. I’m not sure traumatizing Santa is the best way to sell children’s candy, but it’s a funny commercial nonetheless. In the booming metropolis of Burk’s Falls, the Christmas lights are beginning to pop up around the neighborhood. One guy up the street shines two red floodlights on his house, and that’s it. You all know how I feel about people who don’t “go the extra mile” in their celebratory holiday decorations. Shining a red light on your house at Christmas time is a little like buying a plastic hatchet at Shoppers Humongous Warehouse for your Halloween costume … it’s a weak effort. If you’re going to do Christmas lights, there is an unwritten rule which states that there must be ladders, high voltage, and at least a modicum of danger involved. If the other lights in the neighborhood don’t dim when you plug yours in, something’s wrong. Final note in the Christmas front lawn decoration rant … There must have been a sale up here on white wire reindeer with electronically controlled bobbing heads, outlined with little white lights. Up one block from us there’s a whole herd of them, flanked by two giant plastic Santas. Now THAT’S a Christmas display. As soon as I can figure out how to affix it to the front lawn, I will install our giant, revolving, flashing pink neon Star of David. I hope nobody mistakes it for a pentagram.
We are settling in to our new home away from home quite nicely. Phil, our landlord, tarped in our carport the other day, so as to make it more like a garage. This project had mixed reviews, as the tarp has come loose and the tarp flaps noisily in the wind. It was a nice idea though. Phil is a nice guy. I have been building makeshift furniture for this place, as most of our furniture is either in Toronto, or tightly packed in a storage trailer on the jobsite. The other day I made a drafting table/ desk out of a cut off section of our tongue and groove roof decking, and we have various shelf units scattered around the place made from log ends. This house is beginning to look a lot like our apartment in Toronto has come to look: like a construction office, with plans scattered about and files boxes full of files covering everything from roof materials to floor manufacturers. What is ten times better about this winter than last winter, is that we actually have a forced hot air furnace. No more stoking the wood stove in an un-insulated cottage at 3AM.
Final note. I watched a segment on 60 Minutes on the “Millennials” a week ago, and it really riled me. Millennials are today’s twenty-somethings, who are now entering the workforce in droves. The gist of the story was that many of these coddled brats, used to being praised and pampered by everyone from their Boomer parents to their modern age teachers, expect Shangri-La in the workplace. If they don’t find it, they simply move on to the next job. Demand for their skills is so high that the employers are forced to kiss their spoiled little hineys, offering them games, playrooms, and various other incentives. There is even industry which has built up around catering to this generation of soft, over-praised Nintendo-heads. There are consultants, and playroom designers, and psychologists in feel-good workplace relations, etc. The workplace is being transformed into a daycare center! If these youngsters are leading us into the next century, heaven help us. They may be tech savvy, but I suspect that their capability to cope with the hosejob which is life will make them lambs for the slaughter as soon as the next “great unpleasantness” foists itself upon mankind. Here’s a wake up call to all you Millennials … learn how to say “Do you want fries with that?” in Chinese.
- Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2007 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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