The Oppenheimer Report 7/2/07

A belated happy Canada Day to all my Canuckian pals, and a pre-emptive Happy Fourth to my Yankee friends. Every Fourth of July, I reminisce about the sweet old lady who used to sell illegal fireworks to us Buffalonians out of the back of her old pick up truck. She’d blow into town shortly before the Fourth and, like some rare seasonal wine, her wares were only available for a few precious hours, and only around the Fourth. For anyone who was serious about getting the most bang for their buck, she was the person to see. She really was quite adorable, wearing her asbestos drag racing hood. I remember the good old days when M-80’s were genuine, construction-grade M-80’s, and not just “poser” M-80’s, sold by opportunistic vendors out to fool the general public. Now you need a license to blow your fingers off. Our dogs hate the Fourth, and more than once, we had to pry one out from under the bed, when the cacophony of explosives became too much for her ears.

In anticipation of Canada Day, last Thursday, Dale, our crane operator, affixed a Canadian flag atop the 135 foot crane presently situated on our property. There were plenty of Canadian flags flying on the lake this past weekend, but I doubt any of them are as prominent as ours. I wanted to hoist a Jolly Roger as well, but I suppose that would have sent the wrong message.

Summer’s just flying by, and it’s been crazy weather up here in the Great White North. Last week it was hot enough to fry an egg on the hood of my car, and this weekend it was as cold and rainy as a typical Fall day. Fun fact: did you know there was a heat wave in Canada back in 1936 which lasted a little under two weeks and caused almost 1200 fatalities? Back then, 1200 people was about the population of Saskatchewan, so you can see that this was a no small catastrophe. I feel bad for all the city dwellers who, having endured the sweltering heat and humidity of Toronto all week, raced up to cottage country for their weekend of sun and fun, only to be greeted by rain and cold weather. Saturday was one of those crazy days wherein it rained every twenty minutes or so, but in between rainy spells, the clouds would part and the sun would shine, just long enough to fool everybody into thinking the bad weather had passed. Nature certainly can be a mother sometimes. Does anyone else remember that summer, back in the Eighties, after Mount Pinatubo erupted and spewed ash into the air, affecting weather patterns around the globe? During almost that entire summer, there was a cycle of bad weather wherein it would be beautiful all week, then around 5PM on Friday it would cloud up, only to remain miserable until dusk on Sunday. It was like clockwork, and a real ball buster for the weekend warriors.

The other day, while we were giving Jasper her bi-weekly ear plucking, suddenly we heard a loud crash outside. When we looked out, we saw that our propane-fired Skeeter-Vac had been tipped over, and there, amidst the scattered garbage in front of the RV was a small black bear licking an empty can of pop. Now I’m beginning to wonder if some of the mess we’ve attributed to the raccoon gangs (see recent report), were actually the signs of this little bear. Because the food supply is scarce right now, and the bears are hungry, they are becoming more “resourceful” in their foraging. So far this summer, there have been more bear sightings than usual up here in cottage country, and cottagers would do well to be vigilant. While black bears are usually not aggressive, we know of one incident in the past week where a problem black bear got into a friend’s house. The bear charged, and the residents ended up taking refuge in their car. That bear even chased them up their driveway as they drove off. Never a dull moment up here in cottage country! - Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2007 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED