The OppenheimerReport - 12/15/06

This has been a particularly bizarre four weeks, and I’m not sure where to begin. We stopped off at the Taylors' to pick up some food on our way to the cottage, and we’ve been here ever since! Dr. Taylor just came home from the hospital today, almost four weeks after we began the lengthy and frustrating process of getting an Ontario doctor to properly diagnose his ailment. He is still far from 100 per cent but greatly relieved to be out of isolation.

Shauna and I have been living at the Taylor residence since Dr. Taylor went into the hospital, and it has become obvious to us that the Taylors have been overwhelmed for quite some time. They have not been properly maintaining their house, and the myriad of little problems and hassles began to pile up. Somehow, Shauna and I have been deluding ourselves into thinking that everything was O.K., and that her parents were taking care of their needs. Unfortunately, that has not been the case, and it has become painfully apparent that Mom Taylor, pre-occupied with the task of attending to the needs of her husband, has put off some desperately-needed repairs to their house. During the past three weeks since we moved in to this house, the sewer backed up, we discovered that there are serious plumbing problems which caused, among other things, damaging leaks in the finished basement, the alarm system has malfunctioned, more than once, and we realized that the house has had some very serious electrical problems.

It all started when we noticed some work had been left undone in their bathroom. An irresponsible plumber, hired to address the afore-mentioned leaks, had torn a big hole in their shower stall and then simply left the job unfinished. It became obvious, after consulting several other contractors, that there was a serious leak coming from somewhere in the floor. Perhaps it was a drain problem, or a water supply line, but whatever it was, it was a bigger job than originally anticipated. Then we noticed there were leaks coming from the kitchen sink, which had damaged most of the ceiling directly below in the basement. Then the sewer backed up, leaving the laundry room in the basement filled with raw sewage. This all happened within a week of our arrival. Several days later, the security alarm went off for no apparent reason, cutting off our phone line as we were getting an important update on Dr. Taylor’s progress in the hospital. Then the fridge died, and in the process of replacing that appliance, we came to the realization that the electrical service in this house was in need of some extensive repairs, which turned into a decision to replace the 25 year-old electrical panel down in the basement.

When the refrigerator died, we decided to replace the dishwasher as well. It hadn’t totally quit working yet but was in need of repair as the dry cycle was weak so we felt that the machine had reached the end of its useful life. The crowning blow occurred the other day, when we had the furnace guy come in to replace what we thought was a faulty thermostat. As it turned out, the problem was with the furnace. The repair man took one look at it and asked me somewhat astonished: “How old IS this thing?” I called the Taylors in the hospital to find out that they had lived in the house for 48+ years and had never replaced the two furnaces. Those furnaces were likely over 50 years old. Upon further investigation, the furnace guy looked at me and said, and I paraphrase: “Heat exchanger’s gone, I’m gonna have to red tag this one.”

“Excuse me, what does that mean?” I asked somewhat desperately.

“I have to shut this one down for good, by law, I cannot fire it up again …. too dangerous. I can’t stop YOU from doing it, but I’m telling you not to do it, for your own safety.” Actually, firing it back up was not an option, because I wouldn’t know how.

Keep in mind that by that time, Shauna and I had been coordinating additional health care for her father in the hospital, dealing with deadlines for the new log home, attending to Shauna’s business, shuttling Shauna’s mom to and from the hospital, dealing with the constellation of other house-related disasters, and averaging less than four hours of sleep per night. When this furnace repair man told me that we would now be without our heat source, I practically flipped out. Then came the sudden realization that, yes in fact this WAS happening and we would now need to scramble to get a new furnace (probably two, because the basement furnace was just as old) … all before the next cold snap rolled in. The next two hours featured a frantic series of phone calls to investigate our options. Those furnaces were not going to be easy to remove, because a room had been built around them AFTER they had been installed. Just before Christmas is not the best time to be shopping for this kind of work, but Shauna managed to convince the Taylors' furnace repair people to do the job quickly. Luckily, the owner of the company was a family friend, and he really helped us out when he found out what was going on in the Taylor family. Within four days, we had the furnace room wall partially knocked down, the old furnaces demolished and removed, and the new furnaces, new air cleaner, and new humidifier installed in the basement.

Just as we were breathing a sigh of relief, believing that we had fixed all the problems in the house, the two main toilets in the house malfunctioned.

Now that Dr. Taylor is finally home, I think Shauna and I might sleep for the entire weekend, confident that Dr. and Mrs. Taylor will not die of carbon monoxide poisoning or in an electrical fire. Next Tuesday, the electrician comes back to finish some of the elective rewiring work. On Wednesday, we’re moving furniture out of the way, having wall-to-wall carpets pulled up from 3 large areas, having the original hardwood floors sanded, stained, and varnished, and we will hopefully get started on the work to remodel the ensuite bathroom. I’m beginning to feel like a general contractor!

Happy Chanukah, Merry Christmas, and Seasons Greetings to one and all.

-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2006 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED