The Oppenheimer Report 6/29/15

Did any of you see the Jon Stewart rant, either on his show, or posted on YouTube, dealing with last week’s hate crime massacre in S. Carolina? Shauna showed it to me the other night, and I found it eloquent and disturbing.  Stewart opened The Daily Show, which I understand he will be leaving in a matter of weeks, with the declaration that he had none of his usual jokes or satire to present this week. Instead, he talked about how saddened he is by the racial divide in America, and he brought up an interesting, albeit unsubstantiated fact about these recent killings, comparing the threat from ISIS to the threats Americans face from domestic terrorism. His point: we are our own worst enemies. Disregarding the questionable actions of various American law enforcement officers, suggesting racial bias, a young man, blinded by hatred, walked into a Black church, which has been a symbol of faith and hope in the Black community for over one hundred years, shot and killed nine members of that church, after publically expressing his hatred of African Americans. We’ve got a much bigger problem on our hands domestically than worrying about every practicing Muslim, most of whom are peace loving, good American citizens. We have school shootings, and mall shootings, serial killings, gang violence, drug wars, etc., plaguing our country. Years ago, in an Oppenheimer Report, I sarcastically suggested that we should simply round up all the hardened criminals and nut jobs in our country and ship them all off with our surplus of automatic weaponry, to the countries whom we deem to be our enemies.    

 

Of course, all the stupid opinions pop up after a tragedy like this occurs. Right after the church shootings, some NRA supporter suggested that the murderer would not have succeeded in taking down as many congregants had those congregants themselves been armed. Well there’s a solution, let’s just arm everyone in America! Kids, the mentally ill, let’s all pack heat. Every time there is a horrific shooting in the U.S. - the Virginia Tech murders years ago, the Sandy Hook school shooting of young children, the Gabby Giffords shooting near Tucson, Arizona - there is the usual talk about gun violence and the facility with which Americans can obtain guns. But effective gun legislation does not seem to be in the cards, and I very much doubt that, given the paralysis of the American political system and the strength of the NRA lobby, it could be properly enforced in a country so full of guns already. Absolutely, guns are too easy to come by in America, but what of the growing public perception that law enforcement officials are themselves partly to blame for the racial divide? What I think Jon Stewart was getting at in his rant, is that when you strip away the politics and the moral grandstanding, and the media outrage, what we are left with is a glaring societal problem that we continue to externalize as someone else’s fault. We sweep each domestic atrocity under the table as soon as the next celebrity scandal trumps the story. As the cartoon character Pogo said: “We have seen the enemy and he is us.” Nothing is going to change unless we as individuals change. Families need to be stronger and more vigilant, but we are told the family structure is breaking down, especially among the most at risk members of our society. We need to do a much better job of addressing and helping the mentally ill in our countries, but that is going in the wrong direction as well. Good and effective education is clearly front and center in this struggle, but herein lies another daunting challenge. Fear and hatred can only be combatted by fighting ignorance. We have infinitely more information available to us today and yet ignorance seems to be spreading like wildfire. I can see all the contributing factors, but I see no solutions.  Genuine role models and heroes in our country are being overshadowed by Marvel Comics superheroes and Pixar fantasies. Is it not telling that we increasingly seem to turn to fantasy and unreality for our entertainment?  Who’s telling the story of the everyday hero? We can take down the Confederate flag, but we cannot erase that for which it stands.

 

It’s easy for me to point out the underlying factors I see as causes for today’s societal ills, but I say all this knowing that, as a white person, I am a racist. I like to think that I am not; I don’t seek to murder African Americans, and I do not hate them. I try to treat all people fairly, but I have a few close friends who are Black. I grew up in a city with a large African American population, and the divide between the east and west side of Main Street in Buffalo was a de-facto apartheid in my city. I have an inborn suspicion of many strangers who are African American, maybe because I had been mugged several times and robbed by black kids when I was younger. I see the vicious cycle of fear and consequence, and I haven’t a clue how to undo it. I think it is good that someone as high profile as Stewart had the balls and showed his outrage in such a public way. Dialogue is a start. Seeking to be more apprised of and connected with the others in your world is certainly helpful. It will always be easier to hate than to love, and the more of us there are, the more conflicts and opportunity for misunderstanding there will be. I am truly saddened by the events of last week, but I am perhaps most saddened by the hopeless feeling that I am not a part of the solution.

               

-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED-

The Oppenheimer Report - 6/22/15

Yesterday was Father’s Day, and it’s now been about six years since mine passed away. I miss him a lot, and probably always will, but I am thankful he lived the long and productive life he did, and I am also thankful to have had him in my life for well over fifty years. Reading some of the Facebook posts yesterday, I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of people mourning the loss of their fathers. This loss is especially painful if the father died before his time. Mine did not, but I still get sad sometimes when I think of something I would like to say to him. What I’m trying to do more and more is to remind myself of the happy memories I shared with him; and there were many. I told a story on Facebook about Dad taking me to an amusement park when I was four or five, to ride a kiddie train. After the ride was over, he came over to me expecting I don’t know, exhilaration, joy; something. He asked me if I liked the ride, and my response was “I could walk faster.” I was a wise ass at four, and he loved to tell that story about his son. I worked with him for about twenty years in the family business, learned a great deal from him, and we grew to be good friends. He and I were very different people, but somehow also very much alike. Shauna tells me I baby talk to the dog exactly the same way he used to talk to his dogs. Maybe it’s genetic. Anyhow, Dad I miss you, I love you, and wherever you are, stop telling that story about the kiddie train ride.  
 

Donald Trump for President of the United States? I’m sure Jon Stewart is having a field day with this. I’ve heard some people comment that Trump is a business man and might make a good political leader, but I am reminded what happened to Ross Perot when he entered the political arena. He was eaten alive. Trump will do what he has so successfully done throughout his life: entertain us with with his pomposity and arrogance. My guess is the big money will back Jeb Bush, and as a moderate Republican, he is probably the party’s best hope. That said, the Republican party lost me (and I think a lot of other voters) a long time ago when religious fundamentalists hijacked show. What concerns me most about the election process is that it is so inextricably tied to big money. It is about who has the biggest PAC fund, and I doubt that whoever becomes President will have as much impact on the state of the union as the next pop star or communication device. Speaking of the state of the union, race is again front and center in the news as a hateful young man named Dylann Root opened fire last week in a historic Charleston, South Carolina church, killing 9 African Americans. Nobody can deny that racism is still a huge problem in the United States, but this kind of extreme crime only serves to remind me how many loose cannons are running around packing heat and ready to explode. My heart goes out to the families of the victims, and my only hope is that the hatred that inspired this crime has the unintended effect of unifying the very people whom the killer hoped to divide.

Some of my old friends are coming out of the woodwork and taking time out of their busy days to comment on my Thursday night radio show at Hunters Bay Radio. Not only am I getting good suggestions for songs and songwriters with whom I am not familiar, but people are reminding me of long forgotten groups I used to follow. Clearly my show is weighted towards what I know, but my musical solar system is gradually being expanded by my listeners, and by other hosts at the station who have opened me up to new artists and songs I may never have otherwise heard. My evil plan is working. I sponge off your musical knowledge, and this in turn improves my songwriting. At least this is what I’d hoped would happen when I began hosting the show. It’s funny because, I’ve been listening to some of these songs for forty or in some cases over fifty years, but in many instances, I did not listen carefully to the lyrics, or I was mistaken about the writers. Someday I may do an entire show about songs wherein I misunderstood the lyrics. I wanted the show to be about the fact that I am trying to learn something myself. The listeners and the host learn together. The mandate of community radio is not simply to play music, but to provide useful information for the listeners. In an age where we are bombarded with too much news (much of it “soft” news), and “information” I find community radio to be an increasingly more acceptable medium through which to sift through this information. Indeed we are watching far less television these days, and the radio is on a good portion of the day. It always makes me smile when I walk in to a store in Huntsville and they are playing HBR. As my show evolves, I hope it will include more of your feedback and comments. At Shauna’s suggestion, I have begun to quote some lyrics I find noteworthy, and perhaps some time in the future, there will be brief interviews with some local songwriters. Thanks again to those who have listened and offered their input; I’m having a ball doing the show.

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 6/15/15

To my 12 loyal readers (and thanks to one of them for reminding me!) - While I wrote this week's report I forgot to post it. Jasper's surgery was Monday and with all the commotion, I did not post what I had written. Sorry! Jasper is fine by the way. Practically toothless, but fine. Here is Monday's report, albeit on Friday ....

Today Jasper has to have dental surgery and we are trepidatious when she needs to be anesthetized. This is her second dental surgery to remove decayed teeth, the first time she had about twenty removed. As adult dogs have about 42 teeth, you can imagine this was a lot of teeth to remove. This surgery will hopefully be far less invasive. You are probably thinking to yourselves, what terrible dog parents; don’t you care for her teeth? We did. Unfortunately, Miniature Schnauzers are particularly prone to bad teeth, and this is a double whammy because, at the direction of her breeder, Jasper eats soft dog food. There is a big debate about the pros and cons of a soft food diet, but we choose to honor our breeder’s advice. She has had good success breeding healthy schnauzers. When we first got Jasper as a pup – she just turned ten this May - her breeder gave us a regimen to follow in order to keep her teeth clean, and we did what we were told. There was a spray, which we were instructed to spray on her teeth after meals, and that evolved into a kelp derivative which we added to her food. We were also instructed to brush her teeth, but this has been problematic for a number of reasons. Have you had much success brushing your dog’s teeth? It became increasingly difficult after half of them were removed, and eventually I just smeared the enzymatic toothpaste (poultry flavor) on her teeth with a finger brush. Hindsight is 20/20 and the vet had recommended periodic teeth cleaning, requiring anesthesia, but we were concerned about putting her under. Pet dental care never really impressed me as a priority in the care of our pet, but in fact it is serious business. Jasper developed an infection from decaying teeth which, if left unattended might have killed her.

 

Last Saturday night Shauna and I attended a local concert in Huntsville, something we have not done as often as we would have liked of late. We saw our friend, local singer-songwriter Sean Cotton, opening for Juno Award-winning Canadian blues artist Suzie Vinnick. Also on the bill was Canadian guitar virtuoso Wendell Ferguson, and if you ever have the opportunity to see this guy perform in your town, you will not be disappointed. On top of having a deliciously irreverent sense of humor, Wendell is an excellent guitarist and songwriter. His song writing often involves parody and humor, which sometimes belies his remarkable technical abilities as a guitarist. A big fan of Chet Atkins, Wendell is an accomplished finger picker and his music is a delight to the ears. He accompanied Suzie and the two of them went back and forth playing their original songs. This is rapidly becoming my favorite kind of musical performance, wherein two or more artists perform and discuss their work or the songs they cover. While I am still a fan of pop music, more and more I eschew big venues and “popular” artists in favor of smaller more intimate concerts. After the show I had an opportunity to talk to these two very approachable artists and get our cd’s signed. Every time I see a new and talented artist I am reminded of how much under-recognized talent there is in the world, and I try to avoid thinking about the unbalanced weight pop culture places on mediocre talent. Over the past several years I have had many musicians tell me how good Wendell is and it was pleasure to finally see him.

 

We have been back up north for two weeks now, and I have been able to get back to broadcasting “Lyrical Workers” from the Hunter’s Bay Radio studio. I implore all twelve of my loyal readers to offer suggestions for songs they might like to hear on the radio. So far, I have had some interesting suggestions, and there have been a lot of “oh yeah, I forgot about that song” moments. Some of my friends have an encyclopedic knowledge of music, and this only serves to improve my show. Many years ago, Gil, my music-loving friend from Florida, gave me a one year subscription to CMJ magazine, which is a publication focusing on new music. With every issue there came a CD of new music from various artists. Some of the songs I did not care for, but many were really great. Gil knew I wrote songs, and this was such a thoughtful gift. Gil also introduced me to the novelty band Dread Zeppelin many years ago. I’ve heard a lot of people personalize Led Zeppelin songs, but never before in the reggae style. My friend Earle in Memphis introduced me to John Prine a long time ago, and has been a reliable source of musical wisdom over the years. While I generally focus on songs I feel are strong lyrically, and in fact have begun to read lyrics on air that impress me, I will play anything that I deem to be a strong song. That can include songs no one has heard before. I am always willing to listen, once, and it is always exciting for me to hear a song that moves me for the first time. There are several songs that fellow songwriters have written that have never been heard by the general public, and with their permission, I will do my best to air those songs. Lately I have been listening to a lot of bluegrass, crooner and Broadway music. These are three forms of music which I would have ignored thirty-five years ago, when I began to writing songs. I hope that some of my 12 loyal readers will tune in to the show for a listen if you find the time. Muskokaonline.com is the Hunter’s Bay Radio website.

                           Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 6/8/15

Some of the songs I’ve written so far are inspired either directly or indirectly by news stories I have seen over the years. Last Monday night I watched a show on CNN covering its 35^th Anniversary, including clips from all those years of coverage. Called “Chicken Little News” by some in the early days, CNN marked a seismic shift in the way news is presented. The network did not catch on overnight, and it was interesting to trace the stories that boosted its approval ratings. I remember some of the early stories, and I remember noting to myself that this was the first time I’d ever heard the expression “infotainment.”  I can’t believe it was all the way back in 1987 when Baby Jessica McClure fell down a well in Midland Texas, and CNN was there to cover the whole thing. I think Operation Desert Storm and the first Gulf War really put them on the map, because when the rockets began to fly, CNN had the only reporters in Bagdad at the time. I remember how strange it was to watch a war unfolding on television, and I was so moved by the experience I wrote a song called Watching the War on TV about the CNN coverage of the first Gulf War. That was my first real exposure to CNN news. The whole world was using CNN’s footage in Iraq, because they had to. Other news stories that were covered in the 35^th Anniversary show: The Rodney King beating, Clarence Thomas’ appointment hearings, wherein he was accused of sexual harassment, the Bosnian War, the first bombing of the World Trade Center, the death of Lady Di, “Blowjobgate” with Monica Lewinsky and President Clinton, the taxpayer-dollar-depleting Ken Starr witch hunt to link Bill Clinton to the Whitewater scandal, and many, many more events that don’t seem as if they happened so long ago.  

Like many of my songs, CNN news stories became my time markers for things that were going on in my life at the time. I watched the famous and very bizarre low speed car chase, OJ in his white Bronco, followed by a posse of LA’s finest, as Shauna and I were waiting for a plane on our honeymoon. When we returned home, Shauna and I became very interested in the trial. CNN was interviewing everyone involved in the case. Witnesses became temporary celebrities, enjoying their fifteen minutes of fame. Everybody wrote a book. I remember suggesting in one Opp Report that, according to his agent, OJ’s dog was writing a book entitled “Blood on my Paws.” Where is Kato Kaelin now? I’m sure he must have parlayed his fifteen minutes into some kind of lasting employment. It would be interesting to go back to Oppenheimer Reports I wrote during that period to see what developments in the trial I deemed noteworthy. I do remember at one point thinking very early on that this was way too much coverage of something that amounted to a crime of passion. There was even a musical theme to accompany all O.J. trial coverage, and I suggested that perhaps CNN should have themes for all their big stories.  If CNN had devoted as much coverage to the genocide in Rowanda, it may never have become the horrific tragedy it became.

 

As much as I joked about CNN and their sometimes ridiculous coverage, I watched a lot of it, perhaps rationalizing that I needed fodder for this report. What has become evident from the inception of 24-7 news broadcasting, is that hard news is being trumped by that which is scandalous, celebrity based, or involves puppies and children. A good example of this was a story reported on CNN a few years back wherein a hot air balloon escaped and there was some speculation that a little boy was trapped in it. I think there was a full day of coverage, and hot air balloon experts and meteorologists were interviewed, all the while airing video footage of this balloon, drifting into the upper atmosphere. It was like Geraldo discovering Al Capone’s wine bottles. As it turned out the kid was safe on the ground, probably hiding from his whacky parents, and meanwhile there was hard news occurring in the rest of the world which went unreported. Information dissemination changed with the advent of the internet and 24-7 news. Now we have a lot of facts, and damning video, and opinions disguised as facts, but are we any better informed? TMI dude.

"....The Muslims and the Western Satans, embroiled in the fight/ While the media stands up there on the front line, deciding who's wrong and right/ Me I want the big picture, I want the bottom line/ But although I'm watching the blow by blow, you know, the truth is hard to find, watching the war on T.V. ..."

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 6/1/15

To my twelve loyal readers, I must first apologize for not writing a report last week. Even in times of adversity, I usually write this weekly report, and have done so for well over 22 years now. It is the discipline of writing down a page of my thoughts, no matter what the circumstances, that I strive to maintain. Frankly, the week just got away from me. After almost a month down in Toronto, we headed back up north a week ago Sunday and it seemed as if every little thing that could go wrong in our house did. The water purification system malfunctioned, the phone line was out, and even the internet was out. There were weird electrical problems we have never before experienced, and the list goes on. It was as if gremlins had been let loose to sabotage our home while we were away. Little problems; nothing went seriously wrong, these were just little annoyances to add to the adversity of the past month. Anyhow, by the time I realized that I’d missed writing the report, the week was over.

As I have mentioned in this report on more than one occasion, I very much enjoy doing my radio show on Hunters Bay Radio, but this week, my good friend and fellow songwriter Scott Gilson has acted as a guest host for me. As I begin writing this report I am listening to the show and Scott is doing a great job. That Scott is hosting this week is fitting, because I took over the Thursday time slot from him when he found he did not have time to do the show weekly. Scott has a much better radio presence than I, and he’s had a lot more experience. It’s always interesting to hear another songwriter’s take on good writing. Now that I am back, I hope to get together with him soon, as we have begun to co-write a song. Scott has a great voice, we share a tendency towards odd guitar tunings, and he has an interesting percussive guitar style.

Twenty one years ago last Friday, Shauna and I were married at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto. Some of you reading this were probably in attendance. Shauna and her parents spent almost a year planning the wedding, and it was a beautiful event. As Friday approached, neither Shauna nor I had made any plans to celebrate. We were so pre-occupied with the events of the previous month that we were just delighted to once again be in our own home, and sleeping in our own bed. We decided to postpone our celebratory dinner and instead settle for a quiet evening at home. More and more we cherish the quiet evenings at home. I have lived with this woman for over twenty one years, we have travelled extensively together, and we have shared our many joys and sorrows. I wanted to write something meaningful for her to commemorate our time together, but I was blocked. Then, Friday evening, as I was taking a shower before dinner, a memory came to me which became the seed for a song I wrote very quickly, entitled simply “21”. The memory dates back to our honeymoon, wherein for a part of it we took a cruise ship up the Alaska coastline. At one stop, in Skagway, we rented a car and drove across the border into Canada, travelling about 100 miles up the scenic Yukon Trail. We were practically alone on the highway, the trip was spectacular, and the memory washed over me like a warm summer breeze. I remember taking video of Shauna at a large lake called Tutshi Lake. Over the years I have written love songs about Shauna and me, and one common theme is the swift passage of time. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays all blend together in time. For me, they are simply reminders of the relentless march of time. Shauna and I are not, as some people have suggested, the “perfect” couple; I doubt any couple is. Over time, what I have been fortunate enough to realize, what has become more and more important to both of us, is our mutual growth and love for each other. The best friend I married twenty-one years ago was a relative stranger to me when I was filming her at Tutshi Lake. I know her much better now, and I love her 21 times as much as I did back then (which was, by the way, a lot).

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 5/18/15

Tomorrow Shauna’s mom will be discharged from the rehab facility wherein she is staying at present, and that is a mixed blessing for us. We are relieved to be leaving what has been I think a substandard care facility, mired in bureaucracy and more interested in shuffling beds than helping the afflicted, but clearly Mom Taylor is not out of the woods yet. According to a recent assessment by a neurosurgeon in Toronto it may take up to three months for her injury to heal, and certainly her advanced age is a factor. While she has been generally cooperative and feels terrible for having put her kids through this ordeal, the caregiving issues remain complicated. Fiercely independent, she will, I foresee, object to the 24-7 care we and her doctors now feel she requires, and while she may feel she is capable of handling all her own affairs, we have plenty of reminders that this is not the case. She does not want to go into an institution, and frankly neither do we want that, based on our observations of the care at a rehab facility. So now what do we put in place to make her safe? The house is handicapped friendly, something we did when Shauna’s Dad was so ill, and generally Ethel can get around with a walker.

I’ve been through at least five or six of these family disasters so far, and the inclination is to succumb to angst or self-pity. I wrestle with this from time to time; oh woe is me, after a long and harsh winter, here we are in the throes of spring/summer and there is yet another elder crisis with which to deal. But these are our parents, and they have been good parents. They sacrificed exponentially more for us than we are now called upon to sacrifice for them. I wrote my good friend Bob the other day, perhaps partly to rationalize my currently compromised circumstances, and partly to remind myself to practice what I preach. In the note, I referred to a photograph I use as the screen saver on my computer, and it is and action shot of the two of us participating in an offshore boat poker run several years ago. We are in Bob’s vintage 27’ Magnum Sedan Cruiser, a classic twin screw offshore powerboat, cruising along at 40+MPH in the Lake Erie chop. It’s an aerial shot taken from a helicopter, and shows us launching off a wave and in mid-air, with only the outdrives barely touching the water. Bob and I share of love of boats and rough water, and have done a bit of dangerous boating in our long career as friends, usually in small crafts.  That action shot is a reminder of a charmed life. As I strive to adjust my attitude, I pull my little mental Zen rake through the garden of my happy memories, and once again remember to be thankful for all that has so far been given to me. Even these challenges are a gift.

 

During my “shifts” in the rehab center, I took Ethel out for walks around the ward, and when we'd done a sufficient amount of exercise, we rewarded ourselves by sitting out on the back balcony, off the patient lounge on her floor, overlooking the beautiful grounds on the facility. The other day, the trees were erupting in green, and seemingly overnight we saw spring make a break from jail keeper Jack Frost.  Children were running around, playing happily, seemingly unaware of the unhappy circumstances that brought them to this place. As life unfolded beneath us, we had some  good talks. I’ve had my issues with my mother-in-law, and likely she with me, but we have shared over 20 years of our lives together and we have come to know each other pretty well. Maybe this sad accident has a silver lining, and maybe I needed to take a break from whatever it was I thought I was doing, that I deemed so important, to focus on the circle of life. I’ve waited in traffic jams, I’ve waited for elevators, I’ve waited for success, hell, I’ve even waited in line for an hour for a ride on Space Mountain at Disney World. So far, I’ve had many moments of joy with a beautiful wife who loves me, and I’ve had many moments flying through the air with both props out of the water. Finally, what give those moments meaning are the moments when I help another human being.  

              - Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 5/11/15

It’s Friday night as I begin this report and I am off duty for the evening. Shauna is at the rehab center with her mom, and I just finished listening to the Top 20 Countdown on Hunters Bay Radio, wherein my producer and colleague Juan Barbosa has reached #1 on the charts for a song off his upcoming album Soulbot 6000. My little break from the challenges of the past week. Indeed it has been a difficult one. As anyone who has ever negotiated the bureaucratic nightmare of the health care “system” knows, patient advocacy is everything. Hospital staff members are often over worked, and it is astounding to me how many mistakes I have personally witnessed in the past year. When Shauna’s Dad had the last big stroke, which ultimately caused his demise, there was a point where a nurse inadvertently switched his IV bag with the patient’s in the next bed. That patient was getting a drug he should not have received and it had an adverse effect on him. He was unable to speak and were it not for a rapid change in his vital signs, no one would have known. It was Shauna who caught this, not the nurse charged with his care. Physician do no harm. The challenge in the coming weeks will be to determine where we go from here. We hope Mom Taylor will be able to resume some semblance of normalcy, but right now we have no idea what to expect.

 

One of the odd results of spending a lot of time in a hospital or rehab facility is that, by default, one becomes familiar with the other inmates, both patients and family. The other day, when Ethel was transferred to this rehab facility she is presently in, it was chaos. The facility had no record of her admission, the place was hot and badly ventilated, she was without her pain medication for over eight hours, and the only saving grace was her bedmate. Annie, in the next bed, had just had serious open heart surgery to repair a rare heart defect. While she was only about a week and a half out of major surgery, she was cheerful and funny and downright lovable. Most of all, she was a subtle reminder to us how lucky we have been, and how all things must be kept in perspective. Yes, I wish Mom Taylor’s accident had not happened, and yes perhaps it was preventable, but she is alive, alert and as sharp as ever, able to ambulate now with some difficulty, and let’s not forget, the woman has thankfully reached the venerable age of ninety years old. Annie is only 78 and still not out of the woods. After bonding with Annie in a very short time, in the early morning, Ethel and her caregiver noticed she was gasping for breath and called for the nurse. She had arrested and was in peril of dying on the spot. It was likely our caregiver Andrea Yolanda saved her life. At present Annie is stable at the Toronto hospital and awaiting the surgical insertion of a defribillator in order to regulate her heart. Hospitals make us care when we don’t necessarily want to, and they abruptly wake us out of our coma of perceived immortality. It’s an in-your-face reality check, and we learn from the experience whether we want to or not.  

 

While doing my shifts in the hospital last week I put together my radio show and sent it up to Huntsville via email. It takes a while to put that show together, but like this report, it gives me a great deal of pleasure. As I said, it was a long week. At one point last weekend, the dog was sick and had to be watched, Shauna was in a pain flare and could not move, and I was at the hospital trying to make sure Mom Taylor was safe. When I got home from the rehab center late Wednesday night, I put together the voice tracks for show number ten. When it rains it pours, and all we can do is the best we can do. It was not the show I’d hoped to do, but I’m proud to have done it nonetheless. Thanks to James Carroll at Hunter’s Bay Radio for taking the files I sent and loading them in time to air Thursday night. I hope to be able to broadcast the show in person some time soon.

 

-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 5/4/15

 

We are back and forth to Toronto and scrambling to figure out what we do next with respect to Shauna’s mom. Presently, she is in a rehabilitation facility and making some progress after a misstep on the stairs in her home led to a bad fall and fractures to her C1 and C2 vertebrae. At present the challenge is to make her understand the severity of the injury and to convince her that she will, for a while at least, require assistance with almost every aspect of her life. We will know more after a follow up consult with the neurosurgeon who originally saw her after the fall, but the uncertainty is all consuming.  

 

Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans. I have been thinking of that concept a lot lately, and it has been particularly meaningful this past two weeks. When I was a young man I had aspirations to be a writer, and perhaps if I was lucky, a recognized songwriter. I had those aspirations 45 years ago. I finished school, and afterwards, having been instilled with a strong sense of responsibility by my parents, I took a job in the family business, got heavily involved in the community, and put those dreams on the back burner. Like so many of the rest of you, I chose pragmatism over pie in the sky, and I have few regrets. I still managed to write songs, even if few heard them, and I have lately enjoyed some of the recognition for which I’d always hoped. I’m not done by any means, but I have learned to be patient. Every experience in my life has made my writing improve. For now, it is likely I will need to pull back and focus on the family I have left.

 

One can live life with regret and bitterness, and no matter what one’s station in life those demons are ever present. Alternatively, one can simply persevere and find happiness and contentment in the absence of sorrow. My life has by most people’s standards been a charmed one. I have known great love and support from friends, and most of all from my parents, and from Shauna’s. We are down to our last parent now, and this journey looks as if it will be a challenging one from now on. The circle of life encompasses us all and no one escapes the pain. It is up to us as individuals to recognize the joy. Herein I recognize every friend and relative who has brought a smile to my face and to let you know I love you all. When you have helped me you have helped me help others, and I will continue to pay forward the good fortune I have so far known. I don’t know about the future, but for now, family trumps all else.  

 

Enough of my philosophical bullshit. I hope to join you again next week, here, and on my radio show, which last week Hunter’s Bay Radio was kind enough to air for me with the benefit of remote file sharing. Life can kick you square in the ass, but if you’re at peace with yourself, and I think I am finally, it cannot knock you down.

 

Whatever doesn’t kill ya, right?

 

-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 4/27/15

Last Wednesday morning we received a cell phone call from the caregiver for Shauna’s mom that she had fallen. She implored us to call Mrs. Taylor because she was refusing to go to the hospital. I am writing this report in déjà vu mode, to remind all of you docile children of aging octogenarian, or in this case nonagenarian parents – common sense erodes with age. You must be prepared to be firm and take charge when a crisis arises. While the caregiver was down in the basement, Mom Taylor had tried to go downstairs to join her, became dizzy and slipped on the stairs. Our worst case scenario. What was particularly serious about the fall, apart from the fact she is ninety years old, was that she had hit her head and had a goose egg bruise. That was the red flag. We finally insisted on calling an ambulance. Within 10 minutes of their arrival, paramedics had put her in an immobilizing neck collar and rushed her to the hospital. A number of tests at the hospital confirmed that she had fractured her C1 and C2 vertebrae, and was in danger of complete paralysis. She was adamant that she was all right, yet she was possibly moments away from quadriplegia.

 

As I write this, I am sitting in the hospital with her, and while extremely agitated and in pain – those neck collars are not designed for comfort – she is, for now, safe. Based on her advanced years, doctors will not contemplate invasive spinal surgery unless absolutely necessary. We will know little for 4-6 weeks, but wherein quality-of-life is concerned, this is a quantum leap down for Shauna’s mom. I am reminded of the beginning of my journey into geriatric purgatory, when my father slipped and broke his hip about 11 or 12 years ago. What became apparent during that accident was that my mom was not reacting or behaving appropriately, and both my sister and I and our spouses had to remotely negotiate a ridiculously elaborate maze of bureaucratic nonsense in order to get my father back over the U.S. border and into a U.S. hospital (the accident occurred at our summer home in Canada). He almost died, and what unfolded soon thereafter was the gradual realization that my mom was in the beginning stages of a rare dementia known as Lewy Body Disease. Everything went south from there for both of them, and the next four years of my life were challenging to say the least. Coordinating health care professionals, doctors, insurance coverage, was hard enough, but arranging to make my parents’ handicapped unfriendly home into a small hospital was a minor nightmare. My point is this: one minute everything is ok, and the next, it isn’t.

 

Shauna’s dad passed on in 2013, but not before a serious of downward steps resulting from a series of strokes that were emotionally painful and completely unexpected. Now this latest journey into the world of geriatric worst case scenarios makes me wonder if my contemporaries have had the same rocky ride. We have tried to do everything we can to keep our independent parents safe and healthy, while at the same time maintaining their dignity, but sometimes things just go very wrong. Thanks to our house sitters for stepping in. We’ll be back as soon as we are able.

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 4/20/15

I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few weeks poring through my music collection for songs that I might want to play on the radio show. I don’t know if anybody’s listening, and that’s one of the weird things about radio. There you are, alone with a mic, and you have no idea if three people or three thousand are listening in. I don’t expect a big audience, perhaps more when the summer residents arrive, but maybe I can reel in some new listeners by playing a little JethroTull, or a weird Aerosmith cover or, perhaps even some cover sung by Judy Garland. Regardless of how many people are listening, I’ve had a lot of fun learning more about the music I love, and I have had some great feedback from friends near and far. There are so many songs which over the years have influenced me, and every song is a whistle stop on my wild, winding journey. Whenever I hear a certain Led Zeppelin song from the Houses of the Holy album, it reminds me of a beach bar I used to spend a lot of time in during the summers of my ill spent youth. For me at least, songs are like auditory snapshots of the past, and they enhance my memories. Maybe that’s why I like to write songs; I hope one day one of my songs will live on as someone else’s mnemonic device.

 

The other night I was digitally converting a song from my collection for this week’s show, from an old Steppenwolf LP (At Your Birthday Party), and that song conjured up a vivid flashback. I heard the song “Rock Me” and the distinctive drum solo in the middle of that song transported me back to the early 70s and my childhood bedroom in our Buffalo home. I remember listening to that album on my sister’s old stereo, on a hot spring afternoon, and I recall looking out of my second story window at kids playing basketball in the nearby schoolyard of Public School 56. I can picture our verdant, big backyard full of old growth trees and flowers. Mom always had beautiful gardens. I listened to a lot of Steppenwolf back then, and probably had every album they ever made. That includes the last one, featuring a photo of the "penis-mobile" on the inside cover (a car designed to look like an erect penis on wheels). My tastes in music have evolved somewhat, and are considerably more eclectic than they were back then, but I still appreciate the music of Steppenwolf. I can picture myself in my off white,  whale corduroy, hip hugger bell bottoms from the Town Squire Boutique, and my ridiculously wide leather belt from the Soul Source on Elmwood Ave.  I was a boy obsessed with looking and being cool (and failing miserably at both). Years later, my friend Bob and I caught one of the last concerts at the Crystal Beach Ballroom in the now defunct Crystal Beach Amusement Park. On the bill that night were front man John Kay, with whatever band he was now calling Steppenwolf, as well as Alvin Lee and Ten Years After. Both bands put on a fantastic show.

 

Most people are focused in the star who brings a song to light, but I am just as interested in the writer of that song. So often the songwriters go unrecognized. Last Friday night, at the monthly open stage in Burk’s Falls, I saw local picker Merv Mulligan perform a few of his original songs. Merv is a veteran local bluegrass musician, and from what I heard last Friday night, he’s pretty a good songwriter. The country and bluegrass guys often tell great stories. I’ll be playing the recording I made of Merv’s performance on my show this week. Last Thursday night, on the “Live Drive” show before mine, I watched local blues singer Papa John Witterick perform a set at Hunter’s Bay Radio, and he was a pleasant surprise. This is what I love about doing this new radio show. I was concerned that I would not be able to keep presenting more songs I like, but between all the knowledgeable DJs at HBR and all my friends with interesting suggestions and requests, my musical universe is expanding quickly. There is so much under-recognized talent from which to draw. I am appreciative for the people at Hunter’s Bay Radio for giving a voice to obscure and/or local artists, and I hope to contribute to that effort. Singer Percy Sledge died last week of cancer at 74 years of age. Sledge is probably best known for his 1966 hit When a Man Loves a Woman, which he co-wrote with band mates Calvin Lewis and Andrew Wright. May he rest in peace. Another notable death: Last week marked the 150th anniversary of the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre in Washington DC.

 

Time flies when you’re having fun.

 

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 4/13/15

I think the winter of my discontent is finally on the wane. There may be a few surprises in store, because up here in the Almaguin Highlands it is April, not March, that comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Thankfully, the past few days have been warmer, and the sun has peeked through several times. I get serious cabin fever around this time of year. One would think that having grown up in a sunless city like Buffalo I’d have learned to pace myself for long winters, but I still get anxious around this time. Today, I saw some robins in the woods, and the wild perennials are beginning to poke their green sprouts through the newly thawed landscape.

This spring there has been an unusually large population of deer in our area, and several times I have had to be especially vigilant to avoid them when driving into Huntsville. There were five or six on our property last week, and as the snow melts, they are coming out of the woods to scrounge for whatever Jack Frost has left behind. This has in turn attracted predators. The other day, I woke up to a strange sight out on the frozen lake. About two hundred yards out in front of our house were two gray wolves, laboriously dragging the carcass of a freshly killed deer to the cover of the nearby shore. All around there were crows and I thought I also spotted a bald eagle circling above. This was a sobering reminder of the symbiosis of nature. I love seeing the wild animals, but up here we are constantly reminded of the harsh realities of nature. I never saw this kind of thing when I was a “citiot," as the locals call us city folk. I am reminded of “Marlin Perkins’ Wild Kingdom”, a show I used to watch with some regularity when I was a kid. It always amused me that Perkins would be narrating the video of some jungle cat taking down a gazelle or antelope, and then he’d  segue into a commercial for the sponsor of the show: Mutual of Omaha life insurance. Marlin would say something like: “On the African savannah, only the fastest antelope can out run their predators, but human beings can’t outrun mortality … they need life insurance for their survival. Mutual of Omaha life insurance is the protection you need.” Or, “Baboons mate for life, but who will take care of YOU if your husband is blown to pieces in a boiler explosion? Mutual of Omaha, that’s who.”

Indeed we are perhaps more cognizant of the laws of nature up here in the near north. At present I am anxiously monitoring the spring thaw because we are concerned about flooding. The past several years, flooding has been particularly severe, and we recently installed a sump pump to deal with the excessive volumes of water. Last Thursday night we had the first major thunderstorm of the season, melting much of the snowpack in the area. It was a sleepless night for me. If the power goes out, we do have generator power, but so far the sump is not tied in to the generator.

The radio show is becoming more enjoyable, as I find my stride. At first it was awkward talking into a mic with nobody around, but it is getting easier. I recognize my arrogance in hosting a show wherein I talk about song  writing, and while I am not a widely recognized songwriter, I have been writing songs for a long time. I believe I have something to offer, and I certainly have strong opinions about what I do and do not like. I’m hoping to revisit some of my favorite songs and perhaps all of us will learn something in the process. Much of what I have played so far is music from the past, and to those who suggest I play new artists, I am open to suggestions. I am constantly being exposed to new songs that move me, and when that happens, I will present them for your consideration. That said, there is a lot of music from the past that in my opinion never got the recognition it deserved, and simply does not get air time on the radio today. Good songs do not go out of fashion, and in the show last Thursday night, in no particular order, I included Sammy Davis Jr singing a Cole Porter song, two live cuts from a Humble Pie concert, and a tune by Toronto song writer Willie P. Bennett. In my show, there will be songs that are not for everyone, but almost every song I play is one that has meaning to me, and/or has influenced my songwriting in some way. As I said, I welcome requests, and I am always willing to learn something new. To those who have caught the show, either locally or on the internet, thanks for listening!

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The OppenheimerReport - 4/6/15

Friday night (Good Friday as it turns out) marked the Eve of Passover, a Jewish holiday celebrated by eating a lot of strange and sometimes unsavory foods. Every year, as a token gesture of my observance (somewhat hypocritical given the fact that I am not an “observant” Jew), I substitute matzo for leavened bread for the week of Passover. I do not like matzo; it constipates me, it tastes like cardboard, and has no redeeming nutritional value whatsoever. But I eat it for Passover, just because we Jews like to celebrate our suffering. To add insult to constipation, I can’t find matzo anywhere locally. This year I took the bull by the horns and made my own.

 Actually, it was my mother-in-law’s idea. Mom Taylor is a very clever woman. She co-wrote the song “Every Time I Look at You” with my wife Shauna, and that song was recorded by Vic Damone. She also came up with the brilliant idea for me to write a song around the phrase “Nothing Buttafuoco,” back when Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fischer were the latest scandal. I could not resist writing that song, and while not one of my finest, it does have a certain edgy appeal. Anyhow, she convinced me to try making matzo.This kosher food business puzzles me. How is it that a cracker made out of flour and water can somehow be more valuable because some rabbi blessed it? To me, this is preposterous. How hard can it be to make matzo, right? Not all that hard as it turns out. It helps to have a pasta maker to roll out the dough, but then it’s just as simple as baking it in a hot oven for a few minutes. Once I got the hang of it, I was a regular matzo- making machine, cranking out homemade matzo for a third the price. And it’s much better than the expensive, store-bought, kosher beaver board commonly sold as Passover matzo. I actually like this homemade stuff, and will likely make it again. It’s a good alternative to regular crackers and chips, which often loaded with salt and preservatives. My mother-in-law had a great idea. Necessity is a mother, so I did some inventing.

 

I got a belly laugh at something I read last week, which is at once politically and religiously incorrect.  Jann Arden posted something on Good Friday wherein she referred to the holy day as the day when Jesus rose from his tomb, saw his shadow, and went back in. That’s pretty much what I’ve been doing as well this past month: laying low. I drove the ATV over to pick up the mail yesterday afternoon and almost froze my tuchus off. Seems I miscalculated the beginning of spring, again. I know it’s coming, but so is Christmas.

 

IF STATUTORY RAPE COMES NATURALLY

IF SCHTUPING AMY FISHER IS YOUR CUP OF TEA

IF YOUR WIFE GETS SHOT BY THIS CRAZY TEEN

LOOK HERE, YOU'RE NOTHING BUTTAFUOCO

 

cho:

YOU STUPID BUTTAFUOCO DON'T YOU SEE IT'S CLEAR

IF YOU SCREW PSYCHO TEENS YOU'RE GOING TO LIVE IN FEAR

THEY SAY THAT LOVE CAN BE A MANY SPLENDORED THING

BUT LUST CAN GET YOU THREE TO FIVE IN OLD SING SING

 

IF AUTOS AREN'T THE ONLY BODIES YOU WORK ON

AND IF YOU THINK YOU'RE MASTER OF THE WOMEN YOU CON

WELL HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN WITH A GUN

YOU'D BETTER RUN YOU STUPID BUTTAFUOCO.

 

                          -From “Nothing Buttafuoco”

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 3/30/15

Jon Brooks - Photo by Shauna Leigh Taylor

Now four shows into this radio host experience, I find this challenge both exhilarating and humbling. Not only have I gained a great deal of respect for all the other volunteers who host their own unique music shows on Hunter’s Bay Radio, but I have also begun to accept and begin to address my relative ignorance on the subject of songwriting. As I begin to research artists – and really only North American artists so far – I have come to realize how little I know about so many great writers. People are coming out of the woodwork to edify me, and I am learning a great deal from my musical friends. That includes Bob, my best friend in Buffalo, who early on exposed me to some of my favorite bands, and who seems to know as much if not more about Canadian artists than I do. So many good songwriters are not receiving the attention they deserve, perhaps because the field is far greater than it was thirty years ago. This became ever clearer Friday night when Shauna and I drove up to nearby Sundridge to hear Toronto singer-songwriter Jon Brooks perform. We went largely because our friend and songwriter, Gina Horswood, was opening up for Brooks, and we had no idea who he is. Brooks is a remarkable wordsmith with a distinctive percussive guitar technique, and his set left me so “gob-smacked” that I bought all four of his CDs. His songs are edgy, and clever, and just plain intelligent, and I now find out that he is no secret to the international songwriting community. I left the venue reminded of all the talent I have yet to discover. Brooks is a refreshing antidote to so much of the mindless, homogenized, synthesized, auto-tuned pop crap that passes for music and lyrics today, and his talent puts my songwriting skills waaaaay down the list. Here I want to touch upon two points.

In last week’s show I discussed my aspirations for my radio show. I hope that I might learn something, or be pleasantly surprised by something unfamiliar learned about an unexplored songwriter. Admittedly, some of the songs I air are not for everyone, but if I can open up a mind or two, then I will have succeeded. I spoke about the hundreds of open mics I’ve played over the years. What I finally took away from all those open mic nights is that, not only are there a LOT of people who do this well, and certainly better than me, but if I actually got my head out of my ass and listened to some of these artists, I could improve myself. The more I listen, the more I open myself up to new styles, and the better I get. In the recent concert I attended, Brooks eloquently stated another important point about songs and songwriting: they can touch on the human condition, and they can unify. To explore the human condition in song is one way to chip away at the cynical, divisive direction our cultures and governments are heading. Brooks eschews “protest songs”, and instead uses dark humor and sarcasim in his songs to convey his messages. He’s not telling us what to believe – he’s just opening up the dialogue and asking us to think, to believe something. As polyanna-ish and naïve as this may sound, I believe some music can improve the human condition.  I want to be one cog in that wheel. In my opinion music should not be about fame or celebrity, it should be meaningful, and insightful, and it should implore us to examine our lives in some pro-active way. Ever my biggest supporter, Shauna wants me to toot my own horn more, and to use the show to promote my music. Thanks to Hunter’s Bay Radio, I am getting plenty of exposure, perhaps more than I deserve. I am plenty full enough of myself, but when I see a guy like Jon Brooks sing his songs, I am reminded that I am still in the foothills. This radio show is causing me to open my eyes and ears a bit.

 

Early last week a Germanwings airbus crashed in the French Alps, killing all 150 aboard. We are force fed news paranoia about the omnipresent terrorist threat, but to this phobia we can now add suicidal pilots to the list. It’s disturbing enough when someone in crisis snaps in public and “goes postal”, but what about the mental health of the people who routinely ferry large amounts of people around the world? Look at the mess the incompetent captain of the Costa Concordia caused.

 

Like me or not, I leave a good story,

The women are busy, and the men are boring,

And the only good thing, the only good thing,
The only good thing, is an old dog.”

 

The reader can have no idea what this song is about from the above four lines, but If you want to find out why I love this song, you should check out Jon Brooks’ latest album The Smiling and Beautiful Countryside. Excellent song writing in my humble opinion.

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer  c 2015  All Rights Reserved

The Oppenheimer Report -3/23/15

My rant du jour is about our wasted tax dollars. Several months ago, and largely through the efforts of a citizen of Huntsville and our community radio station, we learned of plans to cut back services at the Huntsville Hospital. The first cut they are proposing is to the surgical services, followed by the emergency room, and who knows what’s next. There is the very real possibility that eventually, the Town of Huntsville will no longer have a hospital, and people from here and points north and east will have to travel an even longer distance to receive health care. For elders living in remote locations, this becomes particularly troublesome. Of course, had there not been some squeaky wheels in the community, all of this would have been done out of the public eye. I understand the Ontario government even hired a consultant to explain why this is necessary, a kneejerk reaction to the negative reaction of the locals. I wonder what that consultant is being paid. Somehow, there was funding for a multi-million dollar sports complex and summit center,  why aren’t there sufficient funds allocated for a hospital that services the health care needs of over 2500 square miles of full time residents, not to mention the huge influx of seasonal residents?  I’m told the problem is in how the Province of Ontario allocates hospital funding, but whatever are the political and economic factors causing this to happen, the whole thing makes me bristle. It seems sometimes governments have their priorities wrong. Why is it we the private sector are obliged, sometimes mandated by law, to act in a financially responsible way, but governments are notorious for mismanaging funds? Who is it, for instance, who decided to build that Ontario power plant and then scrapped the project, at a cost of $500 Million?

It all reminds me of my dealings with the Town of Fort Erie, across the border from Buffalo, and a municipality in which I used to reside during the summer months. It is also a Township that had what I consider to be ridiculously high real estate taxes for the services rendered.  I am very thankful to no longer own real estate in Ft. Erie, because the guys who run that town are not particularly good with money. For years, owners of waterfront property just west of Ft. Erie were largely summer residents from Buffalo and Western New York. The town had for decades tried unsuccessfully to wrest control of the privately owned beaches, claiming that making these beaches public was in the public interest. The town fought unsuccessfully to expropriate this land, but for years the private residents fought back, and finally won. Never underestimate the machinations of a town government. Then, as a sort of spiteful end run, the town fathers decided that, to raise the tax base, it would be a good idea to pass legislation essentially setting aside deed restrictions which prohibit the subdivision of waterfront lots for development. Needless to say, this decision was controversial and had a serious potential to impact on property owners in the area. It should have been made with adequate public notice to property owners affected by the proposed changes, but it was not. Required public notice was made a little over two weeks before Christmas, and the meeting to pass the proposal was snuck in before the holiday, essentially assuring that dissenting interests would not have a chance to present a successful opposition. Most of the affected property owners were not even aware of the change until after it had taken place. This is one of many reasons I don’t have any love lost for the Town of Ft. Erie. They are in my opinion sneaky bastards. In recent years, there has been a controversial effort to develop a high rise complex on the site of the former Crystal Beach Amusement Park, which would substantially increase the population density of the area. This may or may not have been a good thing for the community. What was decidedly not a good thing for the community was the fact that a Ft. Erie councilor had a substantial financial interest in this development, representing an atrocious conflict of interest. While the project is now on hold, I doubt it has much to do with the rights of the property owners.

So I went to the hospital rally, and I listened to all the well-reasoned arguments for not cutting back on Huntsville’s hospital services. The turnout was good, and reams of petitions have been signed to let the Ontario Minister of Health know how adamantly we are all oppose to this. Nevertheless, I think this is a bit like Sisyphus pushing a rock uphill. We are not going to solve the provincial funding problem anytime soon, and essential services will suffer. That money allocated to this hospital has already been spent, on Pamela Wallin’s private travel expenses, on Stephen Harper’s war chest, and on an Ontario power plant that never got built. The time has come for me to take matters into my own hands. I’m thinking of auctioning off a kidney.

 

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 3/16/15

"Puddlejumping"
 

Today, Sunday, I went for my first walk of the season on our frozen lake. It’s something I like to do, but this winter has been so particularly cold and harsh that I just didn’t feel like venturing out much. Besides, since late December, our front lawn has been under about four feet of snow, and it’s a bit of a wade to get down to the shore. So, I went out for that walk today. It was relatively warm, the sun was shining, the sky was blue, the lake was a vast moonscape of snow-covered ice, and I walked about a half mile down the shore and back. Over by the mouth of the nearby Magnetewan River, where the water never freezes, there was a crowd of people and a bunch of snowmobiles. Some of the people were wearing orange vests, and my immediate assumption was that someone, either on a machine or on foot, had fallen through the ice. I figured I was watching some kind of rescue operation. Then, I heard the high pitched screaming of snow machines, and realized that this was a puddle-jumping rally. Puddle jumping, for those of you who do not know, is the practice of driving snowmobiles over open water. Having built up enough speed, one can hydroplane over open water with a snowmobile. I suppose this is a thrill, as long as one’s snowmobile does not conk out midway. I am told that there are competitions involving this practice, and that the some or all of the snowmobilers attach ropes and buoys to their machines so as to have something with which to retrieve them when they sink. This is the part that particularly puzzles me. I’m not exactly sure what the driver is supposed to do, now relieved of his or her “floatation device” and bobbing around in open ice water, but perhaps they wear wet suits  and life jackets underneath their winter wear. People tell me that some of these daredevils travel long distances over open water, sometimes many miles. Perhaps this is some kind of weird right of spring around here. On one of my ice walks a few years ago, I came upon a party at the one ice fishing hut out on our lake, and there were quit a few snow machines parked there. One guy had an ATV with tank treads mounted instead of wheels, and I remarked to the owner that it must go through any kinds of rough terrain. His answer surprised me: it will travel through almost anything, but slush. On my walk today, the surface was exactly that, slush.

Last Thursday night, I hosted my second edition of Lyrical Workers, my radio show on Hunter’s Bay Radio about songwriters and song writing. This one went a little smoother than the first one, and I was a bit more conversant than I had previously been. I had a little practice, because, on the Wednesday before, my producer and collaborator Juan Barbosa and I did an interview on the HBR live show Talent on the Bay, hosted by fellow songwriter Sean Cotton. We talked about my upcoming album, and my new radio show, and about the novelty – for me anyway – of recording an album of songs in a studio. Oddly enough, these live radio interviews and performances do not make me nearly as nervous as does being in the studio alone and hosting a three hour show. There, I am responsible for manning the mic and the equipment, and without elaborating, there is much that can go wrong. During the day, there are people on site to assist, but starting in a week or so, I will be on my own for this evening show, and that terrifies me. Just another cliff to jump off; it’s getting easier.

Final notes …The beginning of this week marked International Women’s Day, wherein the world acknowledges and promotes the achievements of women throughout the world. I read a disturbing article in the New York Times over the weekend about women’s shelters in Kabul, Afghanistan, and about honor killings in that country. We in North America are slowly working towards gender equality, but it is still inconceivable to me that other cultures still consider it permissible and acceptable to disfigure, torture, and kill a woman on the grounds of infidelity, and many other "offenses". My acceptance of other cultural practices stops when it includes enslavement, torture, or murder. And that morally repugnant cultural aberration is practiced in North America. Apple introduced its new computer watch thingy, and perhaps that is the next big thing, but I can’t see it. Then again, Luddite that I am, I never thought I would use my phone to access the internet, but I have done so  on occasion. The Juno Awards took place last night and Canada's music elite assembled in Hamilton, Ontario for the event. Hamilton's own The Arkells were big winners, and  80 year-old singer songwriter Leonard Cohen won Best Album ( Popular Problems), beating out rock band Nickelback. I'm a big Cohen fan. Nickelback, not so much.

Spring is almost here!

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED