The Oppenheimer Report - 9/24/12

The theme of this week’s report is disappointment.

I think Letterman has picked his president; he had Obama on last week and seemed very sympathetic. As well, he's made some pretty damning remarks about Romney. Don’t discount the influence of a late night talk show host. He said (or claimed to be repeating what someone else said) Mitt Romney makes George W. Bush look like Aristotle. On top of the damning “secret” video wherein Mitt apparently says some unflattering things about the poor, coupled with his general difficulty being perceived as a human being, Mitt had a bad week. His biggest enemy seems to be the far right in his own party. Hard to believe, but Mitt is middle of the road. Actually, he‘s the middle of any issue. New SNL cast member Jay Pharoah has been handed the honor of imitating President Obama, and last Saturday in the season opener, he did a funny little speech stating that his campaign strategy was simply to let Mitt self destruct. Romney may be on the ropes, and he’ll be dead in the water if those tea baggers get any traction, but the economy is still foundering and once again, it boils down to which candidate snows the American public into thinking he’s the Great Black/White Hope. Either way, I’m not hopeful that anyone can end the stalemate which is the Amercian Federal Government.

Amidst all the shooting-fish-in-a-barrel conservative bashing in the “liberal media” NY Times, last week, there was an article in the health section which captured my interest, about harvesting body parts grown inside the body. Specifically, it was about a pioneering female surgeon who is exploring procedures to regenerate intestinal tissue in infants suffering from a disease called necrotizing enterocolitis. I don’t really understand the procedure but it sounds fascinating and will perhaps lower the infant mortality rate for this often fatal disease. The idea of harvesting body tissue and body parts to save lives brings up that old moral issue, which is one of the many ways I am parting company with America’s conservative constituency. Are doctors playing G-d?  I suppose it depends on your definition. Some of those tea baggers and the ultra right fringe of the Republican party feel it is a sin to employ stem cell technology and other modern scientific procedures to treat illnesses. I disagree wholeheartedly and feel that any ways in which medical science can save lives are worth exploring. Certainly examine the ethics of the science, but where religion collides with common sense, as it so often seems to, let the public choose, or at the very least err on the side of common sense! In the case of abortion, how can it possibly be common sense to let a bunch of devoutly religious men decide what is so clearly (to me anyway) a fundamental right of any woman?

The NHL hockey lockout is in place and assures that at least all pre-season games will be cancelled, which of course brings me to disappointment #2. Another pro sports conflict over divvying up the loot? Really? I despise that arrogant little weasel Gary Bettman and the overpaid players aren‘t much better. They all look like greedy bastards to me, and we the fans suffer the most. As for the haplessToronto Maple Leafs, who cares anyhow, because you could throw all the money in the world at the Leafs and they’d still be as pathetic as they’ve proved to be for seven years. Shame on all of them! I’m actually relieved that I may not have to endure the excruciating disappointment of another season of dashed hopes, and it will give me time to explore some of Canada’s other great winter spectator sports, like curling, and extreme (read inebriated) skidooing. You’ve heard all the text message abbreviations, such as OMG, LOL, TTFN … here’s my abbreviation for the NHL: GFY.

Final note. Shauna and I saw Canadian singer/songwriter Jann Arden perform last Saturday night at Massey Hall in Toronto and she did not disappoint. I’ve wanted to see her for years, ever since I saw a documentary following her introduction to the NYC market. Her serious and sometimes melancholy songs belie her scandalous and often self deprecating sense of humor. She is really funny, and had us in stitches the whole evening. I’d go see her again in a heartbeat.

-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2012 ALL RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 9/17/12

Sandra Fluke spoke at the Democratic convention last week and of course this re-ignited the controversial issue of church and state, so germane to the issues polarizing Democrats and Republicans. You will recall that Fluke was the Georgetown University law student vilified by shock jock ultra right chowder head Rush Limbaugh because she went before Congress advocating students rights to contraception under their university plan. He called her a “feminazi,” and I believe a slut and a whore. Regardless of your stance on contraception, or in this case the right of a religious institution to impose its moral beliefs on a healthcare system, the rhetoric gets a little over the top here. Once again, moderate Republicans (like me) feel the party has been betrayed, correction, hijacked, by the extreme right. I just read some tweets by conservative political commentators, and they sound like  adult versions of high school bullying. By the way, Twitter is apparently the wild west of outrageous communication; clearly I need to begin tweeting so I can jump in to the “debate.”

Last Tuesday marked the 12^th anniversary of 9-11 and coincidentally, there was an attack by Muslim extremists on the U.S. consulate in Libya which killed four Americans. Coinciding with the Libyan attack was a violent protest at the U.S. embassy in Cairo. Perhaps all this violence was sparked by the controversial anti-Muslim film Innocence of Muslims which has so enraged some followers of Islam and prompted anti-American protests throughout the world. I was reading the CNN report about the fool who produced that incendiary film and in the article, they mention where he lives. Hope that guy has a good life insurance policy. Lots of talk last week about Mark Owen (not his real name), the Navy SEAL who wrote No Easy Day, recounting firsthand the details of the U.S. raid that killed Bin Bombin. He claimed on 60 Minutes that he just felt America deserved to know the truth. While the guy probably did not reveal any top secret strategies, he did sign some kind of promise not to talk about the raid, and there is probably a good reason for that. I am reminded of that knob (Canadian for dickhead) Geraldo revealing American strategies on television during the Gulf War. You gotta love Geraldo. Remember that insufferably long televised expose wherein he entered Al Capone’s secret vault and discovered some empty wine bottles? He was one of the brave pioneers of reality television, paving the way for the toilet swirling vortex of bad TV to follow.

Just reunited with an old friend of a friend who shares my love of all things musical. Every so often, I get a glimpse of what an indomitable spirit looks like, and Earle is that guy. He's had two crippling car accidents (neither his fault), battled cancer, so far successfully, and he simply refuses to give up. To boot, he is an accomplished counselor, treating some of the more challenging cases in Memphis. He can barely walk, but his mind is superb and his personality and tenacity are unbeatable. We sat and talked for hours and I got an oral history of songwriters with whom I was unfamiliar. I’ve never met anyone who loves music more or has attended as many live concerts as Earle. I had a lot of laughs and a great time with him last weekend, and had the added pleasure of meeting his charming and equally interesting companion Ruthie. I learned a lot about music, and especially about songwriters I should be following. More importantly, I was reminded of what true courage and grace look like. Thanks a lot Earle for kicking my self-absorbed ass around the block a few times!

Oh yeah and Happy New Year #5773 to fellow members of the tribe. May #5774 teach me humility and compassion.

-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2012 ALL RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 9/10/12

The Democratic convention took place last week in Charlotte, N.C. and it was marginally more interesting than last week‘s episodes of Big Brother. I’m not fan of Barack Obama (or Joe Biden) but I think Bill Clinton knocked it out of the park with his endorsement speech. Does that guy know how to work a crowd or what? I predict an almost equally divided America and a very close and contentious race leading up to the November elections. Obama will campaign on the I-killed-bin-Bombin'-saved-the-auto-industry-and-brought-affordable-healthcare-to-millions-and-remember-Republicans-are-evil-rich-old-white-men ticket, while imploring us to give him another four years to restore the ailing economy. The elephants will say Obama has had four years and the economy is still a mess, and he’s a socialist pig who is probably not even an bona fide American. If the silent (bible-thumping-ultra-conservative) majority does not turn out in record numbers, and if Mitt the Twit does not win the Ohio electoral vote, I’m thinking that the incumbent will prevail, and he certainly will if the economy improves (which I doubt a Republican congress will allow to happen). Rating it solely on the two conventions, in my usual over-simplistic way, I’d say the Republicans might be voted off the island.

NASA’s latest toy, the Curiosity Mars rover, has sent back its first photographs from the Red Planet and some of them are truly amazing. My favorite is the above photo, which depicts the rover‘s view as it lumbers at a snail's pace towards its destination at the base of 3.4 mile high Mount Sharp. I’d like some close up photos of Olympus Mons, that Martian volcano which is 3 times as high as Mt. Everest. I’m sure I am violating some copyright law by reposting this photograph without permission, but I’m counting on the fact that none of the twelve people who might read this report will blow me in. These are certainly not the first close up photographs of Mars, but they are the most recent. I believe there is presently one other rover on the surface and three orbiting spacecraft. How cool is it that we have a machine driving around on the surface of Mars that is sending us back pictures and data, from a distance of over 100 Million kilometers?! How cool is it that we can litter a new planet with our discarded space debris? Lifting our leg on the cosmic fire hydrant, so to speak.

And in the our-society-is-going-to heck-in-a-hand basket department, the other day I read about a new smart phone application which enables passengers to hail a cab. So far the app has not been sanctioned by the cab police, but it’s only a matter of time. Isn’t it illegal for drivers to use cell phones; how’s this going to work? This app would take all the fun out of the serendipitous and predatory practice of cab hailing, and gives an unfair advantage to the tech savvy. One can now order concert tickets by cell phone (totally unfair!), remotely control the climate of one’s home, program PVRs to record favorite television programs, and a thousand other miraculous labor and time saving tasks. This latest app will give us even more opportunity to disconnect from our society and avoid any form of face to face communication. Not only will we be able to text our cabby, but we can likely eliminate all human contact with him or her. Pretty soon the transformation will be complete and we’ll all be slothful (and illiterate) couch potatoes too lazy to fight off that old lady for the last cab. Deeesgraceful. It reminds me of an amusing SNL skit advertising a new app for pre-occupied smart phone users to warn them of obstacles like oncoming busses and cars, thus allowing them to remain incessantly glued to the screens of their phones. Then there is the real life YouTube video of a woman inadvertently falling into a fountain in a shopping mall because she was so immersed in her cell phone communication. Indeed I felt out of place as a pedestrian at a major intersection in Toronto last week when I found myself surrounded by fifteen or twenty other pedestrians, all completely rapt in their smart phones. It was a pickpocket’s paradise! I too am reluctantly becoming one of the (i)pod people. Fascinated by the novelty of being able to send a photo to anyone’s smart phone or computer, I’m becoming a texting fool. I’m not sexting though. Or is it Weinering?

I wonder if there was or is life on Mars. In some ways that planet is similar to Earth, and there’s evidence of water in the photographs. Perhaps there was a Martian society and, like ours, they became imprisoned and ultimately exterminated by their own technology. We naturally assume that extra terrestrials would be smarter and more developed than us, but perhaps they were just a few thousand years ahead of humans in their march to extinction. I’ve got a theory based on my voluminous knowledge of the workings of the world, and I think that The Creator, be it Mother Nature, or Allah, or name-your-diety, just stands patiently on the sidelines until our civilizations begin to implode. Just as someone like Newt Gingrich is about to be elected leader of the free world, a smart phone rings. Hello, this is the future calling, time to reset ... and with that a rogue asteroid wipes the slate clean for the next evolution of boneheads.Then, like a child whose Lego skyscraper has toppled, said Creator shrugs and begins again. Nobody's perfect.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2012 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 9/3/12

Happy Labor Day! It was a beautiful sunny weekend up here in the Great White North and I spent as much of it on a boat as possible. Not so nice in other parts of North America though ...

As of last Monday, Tropical Storm-turned-Hurricane Isaac was heading for New Orleans in a spooky replay of Katrina, and the media was all over the story. Isaac was following a similar track and was scheduled to hit the Louisiana coast almost exactly on the 7^th anniversary of Katrina. Hard to believe that was seven years ago! The file footage of Katrina reminded us of the potential for disaster, especially when one builds a city below sea level. Some parts of Louisiana experienced as much as 20” of rain, which apparently is not all that unusual for a slow-moving storm of this magnitude. Fun fact, presented to me by the weather professional in my family: in 1935, 24 inches of rain fell in two locations in Colorado in a six hour period, more than the yearly average for the subject areas. Isaac’s fury was not in its wind velocity but in the fact that it stalled around landfall, saturating the coast with heavy rains. Places like St. John the Baptist Parish and Plaquemines Parish, outside the enormous new and improved New Orleans levee, got hammered with heavy rain and storm surges. And this is just the first storm of the season! I’m waiting for Key West to take a direct hit, because those people are crazy, and notorious for riding out hurricanes. If Key West experienced a 12 foot storm surge, as occurred in parts of the Gulf Coast, it would be game over for the entire community. There’s hardy and then there’s stupid. The question I ask is what will the media do when a bona fide Category 4 or 5 rolls up on our doorstep? I call it “Chicken Little Syndrome” … desensitized by all the hype over “normal” storms, people might fail to react with vigilance when the big one hits.

Meanwhile, on went the Republican National Convention in Tampa, shortened by a day because of the storm, but chock full of baloney nonetheless. I thought N.J. Gov. Christie spoke convincingly, as did Mitt Romney’s wife, and Florida Senator Marco Rubio. But where was Todd Aiken, espousing his creative views on rape and pregnancy? And war hero or not, John McCain bugs me. He reminds me of the grumpy old man in Up!, and I can‘t believe he was the best the Republicans could come up with in 2008. I’m sure Clint Eastwood’s 12 minute “empty chair speech” will get a few hits on YouTube, but I found it painful to watch. An entire audience screaming “Make My Day” … jeesh. One final comment about political prevarication and fact checking. We express our indignation because politicians lie, and certainly there has been a lot of that going on with both parties. If we’re so indignant, why do we still drink the Koolaid? We vote for those lies. It’s a little like political Stockholm Syndrome, and perhaps if there was some political consequence to playing fast and loose with the facts, these clowns would stop doing it. The fact is most Americans, myself included, don’t have a clear understanding of the truth regarding issues that confront our nation, and until we are all more vested in the process, more apprised of what is fact and what is fiction, nothing will change. By the way, last week’s report photo was no accident; the women who make up The Faith Tones to me symbolize the face of the Republican Party today. The Democrats are the “cool” people and the Republicans are the nerds.

West Nile Virus has hit hard in Texas and this year, there have been a whopping 66 deaths nationwide attributed to the mosquito-born disease. Up here in the GWN, we’ve had noticeably less mosquitoes this season. Here’s something we don’t talk about every day: drug resistant bacteria. The CRKP super bug was first discovered around ten years ago in North Carolina. It resurfaced in Los Angeles county in 2010, and this one is an epidemic waiting to happen. This bacteria is particularly onerous in that it mutates and can transfer its drug-resistant characteristics to other bacteria. Comforting to note that these super bugs seem to surface in hospitals and nursing homes. I’d like to have stock in the drug company that comes up with the magic bullet for this one. Google CRKP and add it to your list of phobias. The only antibiotic currently available that kills it also wreaks havoc on the kidneys. I’ve said this many times before; that while I’ve always assumed it will be mankind that causes its own downfall, it is becoming increasingly apparent to me that Mother Nature will beat us to the punch. Just ask the dinosaurs who’s boss.

Final note: lyricist Hal David died. David co-wrote with Burt Bacharach and penned such hits as Do You Know the Way to San Jose (I love that one) and Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head. He also wrote that Grammy winning Carpenters hit Close to You, but I won’t hold that against him.

Can’t wait to hear what the Donkeys have to say this week.

-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2012 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED