The Oppenheimer Report 4/14/09

We had a Seder supper with Shauna’s parents to celebrate Passover last week. Still haven’t seen Elijah. Every year I make the same joke, referring to Mom’s delicious Charoses (pronounced ho-ra-sis) as “psoriasis”. She’s probably pretty tired of that joke by now, but it’s all I’ve got. The day after the Seder, Shauna headed back up north to deal with the never-ending house project, and I drove down to Buffalo to be with Mom and Dad, where I am at present.

The new house up north is amazing, and it will be even more so when we can say farewell to the last of the workers. Much finish work remains to be done, so that may be a while. Jasper is in her glory because, having lived in a very cramped 1200 sq. ft. bungalow for the past fifteen months, and an even more cramped trailer for six or seven months before that, she doesn’t know what to do with all the extra room. Now, instead of barking at pedestrians and cars, she has huge picture windows, out of which she can bark at deer, groundhogs, raccoons, squirrels, foxes, and birds. Last week, she figured out how to go up the half log stairs. We were sure she’d be afraid of the stairs, but now she fearlessly ventures up to the second floor to assist the workers. I’m never quite sure where I’ll find her, but can usually tell where she’s been by what is stuck in her beard.

We no longer have high speed internet access because our new home is in a dead zone for high speed. Keep that in mind if you decide to send us any photos in the near future. We will likely move to some higher speed satellite service if and when we can afford that luxury. For now we are reduced to dial up service and it is SLOW. When I got down to Toronto, I downloaded all our messages, and I have noticed a new form of junk email. I am getting a lot of promotional offers from obscure towns in places like Missouri, Arizona, and Iowa. I don’t think I’ll be spending my (non-existent) vacation dollars on a trip to Cow Plop, Iowa, but someone thinks I might. The funny thing is, a lot of these ads are targeting time share prospects, and time share ownership is a concept I am even less likely to embrace. Many of these promotions are handled by the same organization, and I was amused by a little note I saw at the bottom of the email ads. It says that if I want to be removed from their mailing list I should go to (and I don’t have the ad in front of me for the exact website) http://www.kibblespecials.com/. Of course! It makes perfect sense that, in these troubled times, when real estate investment is in large part the cause of the economic Armageddon we now find ourselves in, I am going to invest in one of the least secure forms of real estate ownership, from a company that promotes DOG FOOD! Just click on http://www.snakeoilinvestments.com/. Jeesh.

Perhaps next week, I will regale you with stories of Shauna’s fourteen hours on the phone dealing with Bell. We have our internet service, our satellite T.V., AND two phone lines bundled in some allegedly cost saving package with Bell. Between the outsourcing of their customer service to places like India and Pakistan, and the complete lack of accountability in almost every department Shauna spoke with, it is no wonder that one of Bell’s most active departments is their “Customer Retention” department. Let it suffice to say that we are less than satisfied customers.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2009 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 4/7/09

There is a comedy show up here in Canada known as “The Trailer Park Boys”, I think it airs on the Showtime network, and like so much of the Canadian humor, I am a HUGE fan of this show. I first caught an episode about two years ago, and I have been hooked ever since. Admittedly, it is an acquired taste, like two of my other favorite Canadian shows, “Kids in the Hall” and The Red Green Show”, but the more I watch it the more I like it. Basically it is done in a mock-umentary format, with a camera crew following the exploits of a band of low level criminals, drunks, and generally low life individuals who live in a run down trailer park. The individuals talk to the camera and as the “reality” of their exploits unfolds for all to see, the humor is there for anyone with half a funny bone to appreciate. This is irreverent, twisted humor at its best, and I heartily recommend it to any of you out there who might be as sick as I am. I just sent one DVD of a three DVD set to my nephew in Virginia, hoping to reinforce the notion that Uncle Jamie hasn’t completely lost his inner child. I got a call from him the other day expressing his approval. He wants the other two DVDs.

About ten days ago, I drove Shauna’s parents up to Jasper Bark Lodge to view the new home, and that was a milestone event. Their visit was special in many ways. March 21st marked their late son Jordan’s birthday, so it was fitting that they first visited Jasper Bark Lodge on that date. Jordan would have approved of the house we built. The Taylors have not been to the property for over three years, and not since the old cottage was demolished. Although there is still work being done to finish this house (audible sigh), it is now habitable, and we are living in it. There are still a few issues to resolve, and we have a list of deficiencies which must be rectified before the building inspector gives it a “pass” for his final inspection. Still, the deficiencies are relatively minor, the house has been officially deemed habitable, and it was with great satisfaction that we opened the place up to Shauna’s parents. Though they had originally intended to stay only one night, they liked it so much that we convinced them to stay for the week. I think in that short time, with the chaos of various workers coming and going every day, and all the crazy things that have gone wrong, they got some feel for what we have been through for the past two years.

What a change it is to finally be living in the lodge! We’ve waited a long time for this moment. Having moved out of the Burk’s Falls crap house we lived in for the past fifteen months, with its myriad of electrical and plumbing problems and its flooding basement, I can say that by contrast, Jasper Bark Lodge is a magical place to live. Shauna gets most of the credit for designing the house to fully exploit the lake view, and the open floor plan on the first floor is comfortable and I think an excellent use of space. Although it will be probably be a long time before we can say the house is truly finished, and while we have, as I am sure many others before us have, run out of money creating our custom dream home, we now have hope that this never-ending project will someday be completed. We have been too close to the construction of this house to appreciate the home we wanted to create. Living in the house, we are beginning to enjoy all of the unique design features we had built in, and we are reminded that we did it. We are finally living in the home that four years ago we only dreamed of building.


Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2009 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED