The Oppenheimer Report 9/23/08

We’ve been living here in Burk’s Falls since last November, and whenever I try to explain to a local resident where we reside, I tell him or her that we’re in the house next to the one with the elephant mural painted on the garage door. A lady named Beryl was the owner of that house and, though I never met her, I know people called her The Elephant Lady”, because she collected all things related to elephants. Beryl died recently, and there was a big garage sale in front of her house over Labour Day weekend.

Because we are presently living next door, I was curious to see what was up for sale. There were a lot of people rummaging around, and I assumed there was some good booty available. I ended up buying some elephant figurines and a little brass bell that had the word “Jasper” stamped on it. Shauna went over a little later and bought a bunch of stuff which is now sitting in one of the empty bedrooms in our Burk’s Falls bungalow.

Over the several days preceding the garage sale, I had occasion to meet all of Beryl’s children, as they prepared to dispose of all of their mother’s belongings. It was strange to watch that process unfold, knowing as I do that this day will come someday soon for me and my sister. Beryl’s children seemed resolved to make sure that much of Beryl’s stuff sold, and they didn’t seem all that concerned with achieving the highest price. Almost everything was cheap. I think I can understand their desire to get rid of all those possessions. Keep some mementoes, some things that are special to you, and let the rest go. After all, you can’t keep it all, and you can’t take it with you.

After the sale was over, Shauna and I were invited over for the late night after party, wherein all the kids and their spouses did some serious imbibing to let off some steam from what had likely been a stressful experience. There is a grim finality to liquidating an estate. There were tears, there was laughter, there were stories about this old woman, whom Shauna and I had never met, but whom we came to know through her children. Clearly there was a lot of love and emotion in that family. We learned of Beryl’s world travels, of her late husband, of her likes and dislikes. All of the spouses of Beryl’s children referred to themselves as “the outlaws” because, at some point or another, all of those IN-laws had had at least one run-in with this strong-minded woman.

I remember feeling weird after the weekend was over, because after all Beryl’s kids had packed up their cars and left, I realized that I was going to miss them. They were all a lot of fun and I liked each and every one of them. I even liked their kids. Indeed, you can’t take it with you, and he who dies with the most toys does NOT win. I know I’ve accumulated too much stuff in my short life, and I don’t even have any kids who will be charged with the task of disposing of it all. To whom do I leave an antique post card collection? In the end, it’s not the rattan elephant baskets or the embroidered linens, or the valuable ceramic collectibles that define a person, it is the love that he or she has given and received. I can say this … “The Elephant Lady” was well loved.
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 9/15/08

It’s about 10:30 AM, and as I write this, I’m glancing over at the attention deficit disorder channel, featuring eighty bits of information on one screen. The talking head squished into the upper left hand corner of the screen is speculating about the financial ramifications of Lehman Bros. imminent declaration of bankruptcy. This may be the most significant “correction” Wall Street has felt in a long, long time, and it has sent world financial markets tumbling. Oops, there goes another $60 Billion! Easy come, easy go. Yesterday morning, I watched Alan Greenspan interviewed, and, when asked if Lehman Brothers should be bailed out by the Federal government, he said probably not. He did imply that government assistance is sometimes necessary (Bear Stearns) to stabilize global markets. When this kind of financial meltdown occurs I always want to punish the destructive risk takers. Greenspan advises us to let the market sort things out, but I think there should be dire consequences for the kind of unbridled greed that causes people to lose this kind of money. Public stonings … something.I’m still bristling from the S&L crisis back in the eighties … do you remember Charles Keating and that whole pack of banking hyenas. Bank Of America is taking over Merrill Lynch for $50 Billion, Fannie and Ginnie Mae fall under government control and, while the sky may not be falling, there is definitely a palpable sense of concern in financial markets. It seems to me that, every twenty years or so, government regulators leave the lid off the cookie jar and POOF! , all the cookies disappear.

And speaking of money … why is it that the cost of a barrel of oil down (Ike didn’t do as much damage to Gulf Coast refineries as predicted) but the price of a gallon of gas is up? In Buffalo last weekend, it was only up a little bit, but here in Toronto, it was up about .50 per gallon. I just saw something flash across the screen (next to an ad for Depends) informing me that GM lost $58 Billion in the last eighteen months. Gee guys, maybe, as you have so often done before, you missed the market for hybrids and other fuel efficient cars. GM wants a bailout too. I don’t think that is going to happen.

I was down in Buffalo last weekend to celebrate my Mom’s 89th birthday. What does one buy the octogenarian, soon to be a nonagenarian, who has everything? I made a list of repairs that needed to be made around the house and did what I could. At least it was a meaningful gift, unlike the birthday card my brother-in-law so generously bought for us to give her. It depicted a seriously butt-ugly Chihuahua on the front, dressed in a powder blue pant suit. When one opens up the card it reads: “Happy birthday, you wild thing!” and this is musically accompanied by a recording of the original Troggs’ version of “Wild Thing”. I’m going to kill my brother-in-law. On the plus side, the Bills are undefeated, so far. I must be a glutton for punishment … the two teams I follow are the Bills and the Leafs. Have a good week!

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 9/8/08

This week, the hurricane to watch is Ike. It walloped Cuba as a Category 3 hurricane and, while it has been downgraded to a “1”, tracking models presently predict it will cross the Gulf of Mexico, where it will likely pick up steam before nailing the Gulf coast somewhere around Texas. At present, it will likely not threaten the Keys, but it may wreck a few oil rigs in the northwestern part of the gulf. Of course, no one really knows exactly where it will hit the coast until it becomes an imminent threat on Thursday or Friday. What amazes me is the cavalier attitude of the Key Westers in Florida, who in large part chose to ignore evacuation orders in advance of Ike’s potential damaging winds. Granted, experienced, long time residents of the Keys have ridden out a lot of storms, and perhaps they are good at following the weather. Still, if a big one does hit, and they don’t get out, they’re really screwed. There’s only one road in and out, and that won’t be an option once the winds pick up. Apparently, there was a huge storm that hit Key West back in the 30’s, and the storm surge was about 18 feet. To put that into perspective, Key West is about 4 feet above sea level, so anther fourteen feet of water probably did some serious damage. Now fast forward 78 years, and imagine how much more populated the island is today. Remember the how many people perished after that earthquake-generated tsunami in Indonesia? By the way, has anybody else noticed how short our attention span is for the devastating tragedies in other parts of the world … places like Myanmar, Indonesia, and China? I guarantee you this; if Ike makes a direct hit on Key West, and blindsides the entire population of that community, we’ll hear about it ad nauseam on every Western news channel for the next three months. Katrina was horrible, and what happened in New Orleans was truly a tragedy. Still, do not the laws of gravity apply in America, as they do elsewhere? The city is built well below sea level for heaven’s sake. Who build’s a city, in a hurricane-prone region, below sea level? It makes no sense. And if you do preside over a community like that, in the (arguably) richest nation in the world, is it not your responsibility to protect your citizens with massive, steel-reinforced concrete levees and mandatory escape plans? I’m talking about the State of Louisiana here. It constantly amazes me that, with all the advances in technology and forecasting, with all the improvements in construction, and with all the recorded history we have from which to learn, we are still largely at the mercy of the elements, and still making the same mistakes. Nature is a mother and she takes no prisoners.

The other day, as I pulled into the driveway of our new, unfinished home, I noticed an animal lounging in the middle of the road. Upon closer inspection I realized it was a fox. It got up and slowly trotted away as I approached, but I found that strange. When I came back up the driveway hours later, there it was again, lying in the middle of the road. I got out my camera and took some pictures of it. I’ve never seen a fox that wasn’t wary of humans, and my immediate concern was that it was rabid. When I got home, I called the wildlife control department in Bracebridge and told them of my concern. The wildlife representative to me that rabies is not a big problem up in the Muskokas, and that the fox was, judging by my description, probably just hanging out it (chillin’) in what it deemed to be a non-threatening environment. It did look like it might be pretty old; maybe it just didn’t care anymore. Still, I didn’t want it to turn into the first fox road kill I’ve ever seen. The wildlife guy told me that I could live trap it and bring it to a wildlife center, where they would test it and, if necessary, put it to sleep. That sounded like a lot of trouble and involved about 100 miles of driving. I guess, like the Key Westers, and all the rest of us whom I include in the clueless population “category”, I’ll roll the dice and let Mother Nature call the shots. After all, one way or another, she will anyhow.
Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report - 9/3/08

A belated Happy Labor Day! How odd that, just after the third year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, The Big Easy faced Hurricane Gustav, a potentially dangerous Category 2 hurricane. As I began writing this week’s report on Monday, I was watching a canal levee, reinforced after Katrina, overflowing into the 9th Ward of New Orleans. The first levee break in the Katrina disaster was partly the result of a barge slamming against a levee wall, and there was a barge bobbing around in the canal during this latest hurricane. I would have thought that, having made that mistake once already, the people “in charge” would have moved all the big boats out of harm’s way. As it turned out, New Orleans came out of this one relatively unscathed, but the question is, what will happen if another Category 3 or higher strikes? Watch out for Hanna, Ike, and Josephine, now brewing in the Atlantic.

Last week, Republican presidential nominee John McCain chose Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his running mate, and that decision left many political pundits baffled. Most Americans had never heard of Palin before McCain picked her, and McCain admits he’d only met her one time previously. Perhaps that’s a good thing, disgusted as most voters are with the status quo. Still, after eight years of enduring a president who let the church rule the state, I’m not sure swing voters are going to embrace a creationist for V.P. Add to that the fact that Palin’s 17 year-old daughter is pregnant, and we may have some potential media problems. Public perception is everything, right? Was it Honest Abe who made the observation: never over-estimate the intelligence of the American voter? Humorist Bill Maher was talking about that very subject in a recent television interview. We can complain all we want about the quality of our elected officials, but we, the voters, are in large part to blame for the candidates we generate. We are the boneheads who buy the argument that offshore drilling is going to solve the energy crisis, or that a carbon tax will resolve the global warming crisis ... or that having a pregnant 17 year-old daughter in some way confirms that Ms. Palin would not be a qualified Vice Presidential candidate. We’re the ones who focus on a candidate’s personal life while ignoring their qualifications. Anyhow, she’ll be speaking at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul tonight, and I’ll be interested to hear what she has to say.

My reports may be a little shorter in the next several weeks. There is a lot going on in our lives right now and it is distracting me from what I love to do, namely to write. For the past two mornings, I helped apply stain on our new pine floors (on the second floor). I suppose the builder doesn’t need my help, but I wanted to put my mark on the house and they agreed to let me do so. It's difficult to believe that summer is over already. I was reminded of that fact as I followed a school bus to our temporary house this morning.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED