The Oppenheimer Report - 7/28/08

Last Friday, I was down in Toronto to pick up the door hardware for the new house, and I decided to stay in town for the weekend. I figured that, while I was down in Toronto anyhow, I could visit Shauna’s parents and also drive down to Buffalo to see mine. As well, our good friend Bobby Cameron was in from Edmonton to perform in Toronto’s Beaches Jazz Festival, and I couldn’t pass up a chance to see him play again. I’d never been to the Beaches Jazz Festival before, and it was a blast. Basically, this is a huge series of street concerts, going on up and down Queen Street East, starting at Woodbine Ave.. Participating bands played everything from jazz and big band, to rock and R&B. Bobby was at the far end of the venue and, as I slowly made my way down the packed street to see his performance, I had the opportunity to check out many of the other bands. Some were average “weekend warrior” bar bands, but some of the bands were absolutely incredible. One Latin group really impressed me. When I finally made my way to Bobby’s spot, I was not disappointed. He had attracted a respectable audience, and I love seeing the newly converted as they catch Bobby’s act for the first time. He’s such an unusual and talented guitar player – very percussive – that he demands your attention. Anyhow, that was a lot of fun.

Further to last week’s discussion about songwriting, I decided to look up some song lyrics on the internet. There are some songs which I’ve been humming for thirty or forty years now, and I’ve never known the actual lyrics. I didn’t used to care, but since I began writing songs, around 1981, I’ve paid more attention to lyrics. Sometimes, to help me with my songwriting, I’ll learn a song I like, and this helps me with phrasing, alliteration, and creative expression in general. I used to play a lot of open mics, and in the early years I played some ridiculous cover tunes. One of them -- and I actually downloaded this song the other day -- was “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini”. If you can perform a song like that in public, that is pretty much the acid test for one’s ability to jump off the figurative entertainment cliff. If you want to be an entertainer (which I’ve found I don’t) you must learn to embrace your humility. Anyhow, there are song lyrics I’ve never really understood, and so I looked them up. For instance there is a pop song by the new wave group The Vapors, called “Turning Japanese” and there is one line in that song I’ve never understood: “… Everyone avoids me like a (blank) lone ranger” .. I always thought the blank word was “cyclone”, which made no sense. In fact the adjective is “psyched” … which doesn’t make much more sense. In truth, there are lots of lyrics which don’t make sense to me … “If there’s a bustle in your hedge grove, don’t be alarmed now/ It’s just a spring clean for the May Queen …” What in heaven's name does that line from Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” mean? And don’t get me started on the Beatles. I like a lot of what the Beatles have written, but what the heck does “She came in through the bathroom window, protected by a silver spoon” mean? That line really bustles my hedge grove, if you know what I mean. Lyrics often take a back seat to the melody, and I used to be only interested in a song’s melodic hook. Now, the actual lyrics are more important to me.

When Bobby’s set was over on Friday night, I joined him for a few beers with some of his band mates, as well as a few other friends in the music industry. After a few beers I asked everyone to name their all time favorite song. They could not do it. I couldn’t do it either, because I have at least fifty favorite songs. There have been so many great songs written over time. “White Room”, “Mr. Bojangles”, “Tempted”, “I Will Follow”, “The Last Time I Saw Richard”, “Cold,Cold,Cold”, “13 Questions”, “Send in the Clowns”, “Tits and Ass”, “Danny’s Song”, “Everyday”, “Worn Out and Confused” ... these are a few of my widely diverse favorites. The funny thing is, most of the songs I like the best were never big hits. I wonder if my song “Swamp Queen” will ever get the recognition it deserves. Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 7/21/08

Of late, we have been starting out our day with a little music to accompany our breakfast coffee. When we lived in Toronto, mornings were always filled with the CNN disaster-du-jour, or the traffic report on City TV. Somehow, those sources of information are not quite as satisfying, and whereas they may seem germane to life in the big city, music is a generally more acceptable and uplifting alternative, especially in the bucolic calm of Mayberry-like Burk’s Falls. Rush hour in this town consists of a brief flurry of traffic just before the liquor store closes.

This morning, our musical selection was a female vocalist from Toronto by the name of Liberty Silver. Many years ago, Shauna and I heard her sing live at a small basement club in Yorkville, and we both fell in love with her pitch-perfect voice. Fame is ever-elusive and, to my knowledge, Liberty never hit the big time. Perhaps she never sought fame, but I am constantly amazed by the fact that, in the music industry, the spotlight so frequently shines on the wrong performers. How some vodka-hawking clown like Puff Doggie Daddy, or whatever his name is, can occupy a seat in the “made guy” category of the music mafia is beyond me, but there you have it. Fame and talent often travel in different universes, possibly commingling from time to time in the cosmic stew of cyberspace. I digress … one of the songs Liberty Silver covers is an old blues tune you’ve probably heard entitled “Ain’t Nobody’s Business”. Because I am a student of the craft of songwriting, I am interested to know who wrote or composed a popular song. I always assumed that “Ain’t Nobody’s Business” was penned by one of the more famous songwriters … Cole Porter or Ira Gershwin. I punched up the title on Google and found out that in fact the song was written by Porter Grainger and Everett Robbins. I never heard of either of those men, but Grainger used to be singer Bessie Smith’s accompianist. I’m guessing that, back in the 1920’s when the song was written, those two gentlemen made about as much money on that song as Puff Doggie spends on shoelaces in a week, and yet the song endures. It will likely continue to do so long after Doggie Daddy and his “art” have been awarded the anonymity they deserve. Further to the subject of songwriters …

In my blog-ography I give a “shout out” to Mars Bonfire for writing the hugely popular rock anthem “Born to be Wild”. I had for most of my rock-adoring life assumed that Steppenwolf lead man John Kay (born Joachim Fritz Krauledat) had written that hit, and it wasn’t until I saw the sheet music for the song that I discovered that Mars Bonfire was in fact the writer. Learning machine that I am, I then visited the self-proclaimed official Steppenwolf website to find out more. As it turns out, Mars Bonfire was a pen name for Dennis Edmonton, a former member of the band Sparrow, the original band from which Steppenwolf evolved. Are you losing interest yet? Co-incidentally, Dennis’ brother, Jerry Edmonton, was a co-founder of Steppenwolf. What I found most interesting about the Edmontons is that they were raised not too far from Toronto. John Kay was born in Germany, but had lived in Toronto for much of his early life. I lived in the city where the founder of Steppenwolf spent his formative years, and NEAR the home of the guy who penned one of the best rock anthems ever written! I stand on hallowed ground … Awesome dude …I am not worthy. Now you know more than you ever cared to about the band Steppenwolf, but my point - and I do have one - is that one song can launch a career. Singers and/or bands make songs famous, but someone had to WRITE the song in the first place. I don’t believe that most songwriters get the credit they deserve. Does anybody even know who John Prine was? Among other sings, he wrote “Angel from Montgomery”, one of my favorites. Did you know Leon Russell (pictured above) wrote the ever-popular “Masquerade”? Ever hear of Harry Warren? I wonder what the estate of Harry Warren earns in song royalties, as compared to say that chimp-loving hermaphrodite Michael Jackson … I’ll take a wild guess and say “not as much.”

Mars Bonfire … what a great pen name. Maybe I need a pen name … Felix Supernova … Alonzo Brushfire … Cormac Tsunami? Got any suggestions?


Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 7/14/08

At present, our little building project is being held hostage by a delinquent plumber who, for almost three weeks, has been promising to finish some of his plumbing work so that bathroom floors can be laid. Many of the contractors up here in cottage country are extremely busy in the summer season, and I can understand that our plumber might have taken on more work than he can handle. What bothers me most, other than the fact that this man is costing us time and money, is that on at least five occasions, he has broken a promise to perform his duties.

This has turned out to be a very strange summer in many respects. Up here in Burk’s Falls it has been a wet one, which has caused some problems on our job site. There is a mountain of clay left over from the basement excavation last May, and it needed to be off-loaded last week in order to make way for the excavation of the septic system. The builder bought a small building lot nearby which required fill. His reasoning was that, given the skyrocketing cost of diesel fuel, it made sense to buy a piece of land close to the job site which needed to be filled anyhow. He can improve the land and then sell it as a suitable building lot. Win win, right? The problem was that, when he started filling the lot with the clay from our site, the clay was so wet from all the rain that the bulldozer had difficulty spreading it. I watched some of that work and it was a wonder the dozer didn’t sink. I never really thought about it before, but soft ground is definitely a consideration when operating heavy machinery. It’s always something.

Not-So-Big Bertha hit Bermuda, reminding us that it is once again hurricane season in the Atlantic. I wonder if there will be another whopper like the storm that walloped New Orleans. One of the points made in that Lomborg book “Cool it” was that exponential population growth is making weather-related destruction more prevalent. Municipalities and especially developers don’t always pay close enough attention to the potentials for flooding and hurricane damage when deciding where and how development can occur. In their infinite wisdom, the town fathers of Burk’s Falls O.K.’d a bridge replacement over the Magnetawan River, a river, which opens into our lake. The trouble is, they built the bridge a bit lower instead of higher than the old one. With the heavy Spring runoff from all the snow last winter, the high water made it impossible for many boaters to pass under the new bridge and to access our lake. Oops. I went to the Doe Lake Association meeting a week or so ago, and the residents are, quite understandably upset by the oversight. Unfortunately, I doubt that their unanimous vote to demand that the bridge be raised two feet is going to have much influence on the Town Board.

The phone just rang. The plumber has decided to grace us with his presence, and it seems there is a problem with the stainless steel tubs. Three weeks ago would have been a better time to find this out, but so it goes.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED