The Oppenheimer Report 6-25-08

Comedian George Carlin died earlier this week and, for well over forty years, he was one of my favorite stand-up comics. Notorious for his famous “7 Words” routine, which tackles the sensitive issue of censorship, Carlin had a gift for pointing out the foolishness of censoring swear words. That “7 Words” routine got him in a lot of trouble, and I don’t really understand why. He could make us laugh at all of our bizarre circumlocutions, our euphemisms, our spin, our jive. In doing so, he laid bare the hypocrisy and/or ridiculousness of censorship. Arguably, some forms of censorship are advisable, but Carlin felt that society had gone too far in curbing free speech, and he used irony and sarcasm to poke fun at those who would protect us from ourselves. Indeed, he was the nemesis of the Moral Majority, and he and Jerry Falwell must be having a wonderful time debating the issues of free speech in heaven.

I’m reading a book right now entitled “Get Smarter” by Seymour Schulich. A friend handed it to me the other day, I think she was trying to give me a subtle hint. I assumed that this was another one of the eight million self-help books out there, but, as it turns out, the book is quite entertaining. Mr. Schulich, a self-proclaimed gazillionaire, spells out his advice for success in amusing and simple terms. I am a big fan of both amusing and simple. Much of his advice involves things I’ve heard before, and seems to be in synch with the Warren Buffet “less is more;” philosophy. Buffet, one of the wealthiest men, or perhaps the wealthiest man in America, doesn’t live in a palace, he doesn’t fly in a private jet, and he is in most ways not an extravagant man. Schulich speaks about the pitfalls of power, and two of the big ones are ego and drugs. He talks about the benefits of what he calls reciprocity; the give and take if the business world. Shauna employs the theory of reciprocity in every facet of her business dealings. Shulich tells a funny (allegedly true) story about Buffet going to a place of ill-repute in Nevada (maybe the Chicken Ranch … where “The customer always comes first”), and, while he was having a drink at the bar, one of the call girls came up to him and said “For $200 I’ll do anything you want me to”. Buffet looked up from his drink and said: Good … come over and paint my house”. Hee hee.

While Zimbabwe weathers her human rights violations, election scandals, and political storms; while the Midwest braces for more rain, and the Mississippi River continues to rise, busting levees and flooding communities (it’s rained almost every day in June up here in Burk’s Falls); while the “I” word (inflation) spreads across the global economic community, fueled by the high price of oil and the fallout from extensive real estate foreclosures, and while the Democrats and the Republicans mobilize for the big U.S. presidential election, Shauna and I are reaching the end of the decision-making phase of our log home project. Last week, we picked out most of our appliances and, after several modifications, including to the re-positioning of one fireplace, we have done about all we can to design this house. While much remains to be done, and while the pace seems at times to be excruciatingly slow, the house is, in our estimation beautiful and almost exactly what we’d envisioned. Thank you Thornton Group! Yesterday, I went over to the site to take pictures of the progress and, really for the first time, I could picture the finished product. They’ve begun to stain the lake side of the house now, and it is coming alive. They just started the stone work on one of the two fireplaces (which was reclaimed from the old cottage). As well, much of the interior wall covering is now up, and soon they will install the interior windows. I have refinished nine windows, salvaged from the old cottage and, like the reclaimed fireplace, we hope they will be a subtle reminder of the old incorporated into the new. Everybody asks the same question: “When will the house be finished?” We don’t know, but we know one thing. I’m sure the builder is as eager as we are for it to be completed. I know it will all be worth it in the end.

Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 6/10/08

Dad’s 98th birthday was a good time, and certainly for his kids. We did not go out to dinner, as Dad had hoped we would. He was not feeling energetic enough to do so. Instead, we had a delicious Italian dinner (Buffalo has great Italian food) at home. Most importantly, his wife and his kids were with him, in the house he’s lived in for almost half a century. I think he liked the digital picture frame I gave him although, like so many of these electronic gadgets, it is a bit user unfriendly. Its design is such that navigating the photos and changing settings is much harder than it should be, certainly for an old man. Still, it offers him a slide show of his long life so far; offering him some visual perspective when perhaps his perspective is eroding.

Shauna and I have been spending a lot of time in this little bungalow, making phone calls for Shauna’s business, dealing with insurance companies and banks, talking to our contractors, etc. There hasn’t been a lot of “down time”, and by the time the day is done, after a late dinner, we both retreat to our respective low aerobic activities. In Shauna’s case that might consist of surfing for music on the web or speaking on the telephone to one of her friends. For me, diversion usually consists of a beer, a bad movie, a glance at the newspaper, and/or a few hours of writing. Unfortunately, I have by now seen almost every crappy movie available on HBO, and I rarely watch network television (all my favorite, outrageously trashy reality programs are in reruns); therefore, I have begun to get my jollies traveling on the information highway. I’m not talking about surfing the Net, I’m talking about traveling to distant places. I have become a Google Earth explorer.

For those of you unfamiliar with Google Earth, it is a free service offered by the ever-expanding monster which is Google, and it offers the user the opportunity to employ satellite technology in order to view from above remote parts of the globe. I am told there are similar services offered by Microsoft as well. I simply go to the Google Earth site, where I am asked where I’d like to fly today. I can punch in “Athens, Greece” and with the tap of a key, I am flown to the Parthenon, and from there I can pan out or zoom in to points of interest around the country. I can fly over Palm Springs, California, or zoom in on my parent’s house in Buffalo, view the warehouse of our log supplier in Kamloops, B.C., check out the Sahara Desert … all with the touch of a key. Granted, the satellite imagery might not be as clear as what the CIA has to offer, but in many cases it is very good. Floating over the Aegean Sea, I can get a bird’s eye view of the island of Naxos, where I spent a couple of carefree days in the summer of ‘77, eating and drinking at waterfront café’s, sleeping on the beach, and observing Europe’s elite from a distance. At the time, I was probably worrying about how I would make $13.50 last for three days. In retrospect, those were some of the idyllic moments in my life, which are indelibly imprinted in my long term memory. Funny how certain pleasant memories become enhanced with time.

The other day, a thunderstorm rolled through Burk’s Falls, and for just a moment, the wind blew like a hurricane. Shauna and I thought that the house was going to blow apart. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but when Jasper and I went out for our evening constitutional, I noticed that there were tree branches and lawn furniture strewn about up and down the street. Someone’s T.V. antenna tower had blown over as well. In just a moment, so much can change. I wrote a song about change, three years ago, appropriately entitled “The Wind Begins to Blow”. The last verse reads: “…And time just seems to scatter like the leaves in a blow/So much spinning out of my control/ And I want to solve the problems of this oh so troubled world/But I can’t even seem to solve my own …cho: And the changes they are coming, this I surely know/ And outside, the wind begins to blow”. I’m watching the world change from Google Earth.
-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Oppenheimer Report 6/2/08

Last week, Shauna and I intended to spend our 14th wedding anniversary dining in our new log home. We thought it would be romantic to watch the sun set over the lake through the picture windows of our unfinished house. Absent the creature comforts of a finished (or even started) kitchen, we intended to “rough it”, ordering take-out from a better-than-average local restaurant. Unfortunately, things did not turn out as planned. I was to pick up food from a restaurant about fifteen minutes away, and we were going to take everything over to our unfinished house, and improvise for our dining room furniture. First of all, we got a late start, then, the restaurant screwed up our order, and finally, several other delays made our intended plan an ill-fated mission. Instead, we enjoyed a lovely dinner, by the romantic blue light of our television. In past years, we have celebrated our anniversary, decked out in our finest formal attire, dining at prestigious establishments in Banff, including the Banff Springs Hotel, and the Rimrock. In the past year, I believe I have put on a tie twice, and of late, almost without exception, I look like a something the cat dragged in. Perhaps this is the beginning of “phase two” of our marriage, wherein complacency and compromise (lack of hygiene?) become more common. I suppose that, after fourteen years of marriage, the lesson to be learned is that it is not how or where one spends one’s anniversary, but with whom. Shauna, if you read this, I still love you as much as the day we wed, probably more. I’ll never forget our 10th … we spent it at the remote and exclusive Mt. Assiniboine Lodge in the Canadian Rockies. From the roller coaster-like helicopter ride in (those mountain winds can really blow a little helicopter around) to the spectacular food and the wonderful mountain hikes, that was a weekend we will always remember. Shauna and I even wrote a song about it. We rarely collaborate in our songwriting efforts, and it is fitting that we wrote a pretty good song together, to commemorate our 10th.

For some reason, over the past several weeks, I have become more unusually pre-occupied with the past. Maybe it’s because my dad’s birthday is on Wednesday, and I feel strange about how little I’ve seen him of late. I don’t often buy him gifts, but this year, I bought him one of those electronic picture frames into which one can load over one hundred digital photographs. I loaded it with old family photographs dating back to the early 1900’s. There are snapshots of Dad as a child, sepia-toned photos of his sister, of his mom and dad, pictures of my sister’s wedding in 1971, pictures of my sister Joanne, who died when she was 13, photographs from family gatherings passed, friends and family still alive and long gone, pictures of grandchildren. Soon, there will be great grandchildren to photograph. Watching those snapshots flash by in 3 second intervals is a sobering reminder of the relentless march of time.

I don’t know where the last 14 years went; so much in our lives has changed. I still remember when I first met Shauna, and I recall listening to a Paco De Lucia tape in her car after our first dinner together. I remember what she was wearing and, even stranger for me, I recall what I was wearing. I remember many of the other details of that first date. I don’t really need a photograph to spark my memories of the important events in my life, but I suppose they help. There are so many snapshots, capturing so many moments, which have taken on more meaning with the passage of time. There are photos of my ill-spent youth, of friends with whom I’ve lost touch, of parties and family gatherings, of beloved pets. If I close my eyes, I can imagine that sepia-toned photograph of my paternal grandfather – the man I never met – come to life in the color of reality. I remember the day I wed Shauna, and I remember a sunny afternoon in Palm Springs, back when I was four or five, laughing as I rode on my father’s shoulders into the deep end of a pool. I’ve now been married for fourteen years, and my father will turn 98 on Wednesday. Happy Birthday Dad, we’re both in the deep end now.
- Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2008 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED