There’s a sculpture to which I’ve referred in earlier reports, and which we used to see on our journeys to and from Banff. I think it stood in Ignace, Ontario (I know it was somewhere in Western Ontario), and it was of a man being carried away by a giant mosquito. If you scroll down on my blog site, perhaps you will find it. Everybody who owns a cottage in Ontario’s cottage country knows that this is black fly and mosquito season. Black flies are nasty little biting insects about a third of the size of a normal housefly, and their bites are as annoying as mosquito bites. One of my resident insect experts told me that black flies are a major pollinator of blueberries. Ahh, the yin and the yang of Mother Nature. The mosquitoes are particularly bad right now, and every time we open the door to this little trailer, which is, at present, our home away from home, we let in a swarm of them. Everybody hates mosquitoes, except perhaps bats. Over the years, we’ve tried everything from Skin-So-Soft (works for about fifteen minutes) to citronella bracelets (stinky) in order to ward off these pesky insects. We use mosquito mesh jackets, which cover our faces and upper torsos, and those are fairly effective. Nothing short of insect repellant with lots of DEET seems to work. One of my favorite bug weapons is a battery-powered paddle with an electrified wire grid. One simply pushes a button to send current through the grid and it zaps the offending bug into oblivion. As a satisfying side effect, there are sparks and smoke. That paddle is about as effective as a fly swatter, but MUCH more fun to use. I’ve had hours of entertainment over the past few days (I know, I know). The other day I went to Canadian Tire to examine my options for mass extermination. We won’t opt for the mosquito fogger, because we don’t want to poison our dog. There must have been twenty different products designed to get rid of the pesky flying insects. There are bug zappers, and coils, and electronic devices, and propane contraptions, and bug patches, not to mention ten different kinds of bug repellent, ranging from highly effective, DEET-saturated, to ineffective, DEET-less, smelly herbal solutions. In keeping with my theory that throwing away large sums of money is the best way to eradicate a problem, I just purchased a “Skeeter-Vac”, which is one of several propane-fired contraptions designed specifically to attract and eliminate female mosquitoes. Females are the blood suckers (no offence, ladies), and one female can produce 25,000 offspring in her short life. In theory, if you use this device early enough in the season, you can significantly reduce the mosquito population on and around your property. It is supposed to have a range of about an acre. I’m skeptical, because we are already well into bug season, but I’m desperate enough to try anything at this point. I hooked the thing up a few days ago, and it looks like a space ship. It hums and has LED lights, and if it doesn’t work, at least it is a decorative lawn ornament.
For the past several nights, sleeping has been a challenge, because the buzz of mosquitoes is constantly distracting. All it takes is one bug to keep me awake. The morning before last, I took Jasper out for her morning pee at 6:30 AM, before the workmen were to arrive and the diesel fumes were to begin. In my sleep-deprived state, I cluelessly walked outside unprotected, wearing only a tee shirt, my boxer shorts, and rubber boots. Jasper took her sweet time doing her business, and I was eaten alive. I was covered in mosquitoes and black flies in a matter of moments, and I can’t imagine what I must have looked like to any spectators as I thrashed about wildly trying to fend them all off. By the time I re-entered the trailer, I was a quivering, twitching mass of frayed nerves. Jasper thought I’d gone nuts.
Next week, perhaps I’ll thrill you with tales of our foray though utilities hell. The first course of logs is going up as I write this. We still do not have Hydro hooked up, in the trailer or the job site, and that means that we rely on a generator for power. I figure it cost us about a buck thirty to watch “House” via satellite (and well worth it!). Until next week…
-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2007 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
For the past several nights, sleeping has been a challenge, because the buzz of mosquitoes is constantly distracting. All it takes is one bug to keep me awake. The morning before last, I took Jasper out for her morning pee at 6:30 AM, before the workmen were to arrive and the diesel fumes were to begin. In my sleep-deprived state, I cluelessly walked outside unprotected, wearing only a tee shirt, my boxer shorts, and rubber boots. Jasper took her sweet time doing her business, and I was eaten alive. I was covered in mosquitoes and black flies in a matter of moments, and I can’t imagine what I must have looked like to any spectators as I thrashed about wildly trying to fend them all off. By the time I re-entered the trailer, I was a quivering, twitching mass of frayed nerves. Jasper thought I’d gone nuts.
Next week, perhaps I’ll thrill you with tales of our foray though utilities hell. The first course of logs is going up as I write this. We still do not have Hydro hooked up, in the trailer or the job site, and that means that we rely on a generator for power. I figure it cost us about a buck thirty to watch “House” via satellite (and well worth it!). Until next week…
-Written by Jamie Oppenheimer c 2007 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
